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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is she up to?

807 replies

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 16:18

DB, his partner “Jane” & her 2 kids have been staying with me - in my house - after the house they were buying fell through. They had been looking at other properties to buy but have since decided to end their relationship so that’s no longer happening.

Yesterday while my DB and I were out and unbeknownst to me, Jane had an estate agent over to value my house & as he was leaving he told her he’d send her an email with the valuation & they were talking about viewings etc.

Today Jane asked me to give her a letter stating that my brother is living here but wouldn’t tell me why she wanted it & was really unhappy when I said I’d give her a letter saying they were both temporarily staying with me as that’s the actual truth.

What on earth could she be up to? I’m honestly baffled!

Should I tell her that I know about the valuation? Should I tell my DB about all of this?

On one hand I don’t want to get involved in their troubles or make things worse (things are bad enough between them already) but on the other hand I feel I’m being drawn into it as it’s my bloody house she had valued!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Quitelikeacatslife · 25/02/2024 19:06

Sit them both down and say I've just found this footage, what is it all about? Say you feel violated and they need to make alternative living arrangements. The house has fallen through, they are splitting so they need to rent their own places.

PinkEasterbunny · 25/02/2024 19:12

Quitelikeacatslife · 25/02/2024 19:06

Sit them both down and say I've just found this footage, what is it all about? Say you feel violated and they need to make alternative living arrangements. The house has fallen through, they are splitting so they need to rent their own places.

This! You should be asking them, not us!

Witchbitch20 · 25/02/2024 19:12

Jessica Fletcher would have a field day solving this mystery!

Sorry to hear you are unwell and going through treatment @DontVisitCabotCove I hope your brother will be supportive when he knows what’s happened.

clpsmum · 25/02/2024 19:14

KissMyArt · 25/02/2024 16:21

It's bizarre that someone has ordered a valuation on your property and you haven't immediately asked them why.

It's a clear no brainer.

This what are you waiting for?

JustWoww · 25/02/2024 19:14

So sorry what a CF she is - I would ring the local real estate agents and find out who came to your house and a) explain to them you saw and heard them on your ring door bell and you own the house and she has done this without permission and you do not want her to be given the valuation and b) ask what she told them was the reason she had the valuation done.

JCLV · 25/02/2024 19:17

jeaux90 · 25/02/2024 17:45

I'd ask what the estate agent was doing here, you caught it on Ring so a valid question. You don't need to blow up about it just ask.

Definitely do this.

KickAssAngel · 25/02/2024 19:17

Contact the estate agent, tell them you're the property owner and ask why they were talking to someone who isn't even a resident at the property, let alone the owner.

Then look her in the face and ask for a copy of the valuation to be forwarded to you when she gets it.

Straycatblue · 25/02/2024 19:21

You said the ring doorbell didn't just catch footage of estate agent & valuation conversation

.... but also he would be in touch about the viewings!! = Do Not Leave this woman alone in your house!
They've discussed viewings!

She is up to nothing good. You have a life limiting illness & you have a predator in your house

I know you don't want anymore stress because of your health but you need to protect yourself

Get her out now & change locks = she's not your responsibility = you owe her nothing esp as she's betrayed your trust & clearly planning something very underhand .

Isitovernow123 · 25/02/2024 19:21

Quizine · 25/02/2024 18:34

What kind of system is this, where an owner can have a property sold by and for the benefit (fraudulently) of someone else?

Surely, surely some form of ID is required to prove you are the owner. Surely money laundering prevention/fraud would mean that the sale could not happen without the signature of the owner (proven) on the contract and deeds? I am both a little frightened and baffled that this could happen. Is this true?

Do estate agents not verify the ID of the owner/seller before doing a valuation/marketing?

No they don’t, only before they market the property

ApolloandDaphne · 25/02/2024 19:26

How very weird. You really need to have it out with her before people start coming to view your house!

TenderChicken · 25/02/2024 19:26

You would be very reasonable to tell this woman to leave your house immediately. You can't trust her to be left in your home. Tbh it's a bit crazy she's still there at all, having split from your brother!

Galeforcewindatmywindow · 25/02/2024 19:29

Just sack the estate agent off tomorrow and her out soon after. Not 1 more night should she be there.

Fionaville · 25/02/2024 19:32

Was it definitely an estate agent? Could she be getting a secured loan out on your house?
I'd be too worried to leave this, I'd have to contact the estate agent and ask her. She's got a bloody cheek! You're being too nice letting her stay, she's taking advantage of you.

Original poster
DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 19:34

Thanks all, I naively assumed that there would be multiple checks and balances in place that would prevent major fraud so her trying to sell my house or anything of that magnitude didn’t even enter my head.

I have now signed up for land registry alerts and will also get on the Form LL restriction first thing tomorrow so thank you to the posters who suggested it.

I’ve spoken to my DB, sent him the footage and he’s going to deal with her so she won’t be coming back; the kids are currently with their dad anyway so all good on that front. DB will pack up their stuff and move it out and I’ll get the locks changed tomorrow too.

To those who asked, I have no idea who the agent is beyond their first name.

OP posts:
Noseybookworm · 25/02/2024 19:34

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 17:28

Thanks for all the replies so far! To answer some questions:

  1. My doorbell camera picked it up, I have footage of the estate agent arriving and then their conversation on the doorstep as he was leaving about emailing the valuation and being in touch about viewings etc.
  2. She asked for the letter this morning but I only saw the footage a few hours ago while trying to track down a parcel
  3. They aren’t married and the kids aren’t his so I don’t think it’s anything to do with a settlement. They have no joint assets as the house purchase that fell through was going to be their first home together
  4. I have no mortgage on my home
  5. She’s due to move out in 10 days into rented
  6. I‘ve been home alone since I found out about the valuation so there’s no one here to tell or confront
  7. My ID is safe and secure

I have a life limiting illness and I’m currently undergoing medical treatment so maybe that’s why I’m not as angry as I probably should be. I have a lot on my plate right now and to be honest I had no idea what she could be up to - hence asking here - so naively thought I could maybe just ignore it (as there’s not much she can do with a valuation anyway) for a quiet life as she’s due to leave shortly and I could really do without any trouble whilst I’m so sick.

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this while you're so sick 😔 is it possible that she thinks you will leave the house to your DB and she somehow thinks she will be entitled to a part of his inheritance? If so, that's truly grim 😟 can you contact the estate agents to let them know that she's not the owner of the property? Also, I think you'd be sensible to tell her to leave your house immediately.

godmum56 · 25/02/2024 19:40

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 19:34

Thanks all, I naively assumed that there would be multiple checks and balances in place that would prevent major fraud so her trying to sell my house or anything of that magnitude didn’t even enter my head.

I have now signed up for land registry alerts and will also get on the Form LL restriction first thing tomorrow so thank you to the posters who suggested it.

I’ve spoken to my DB, sent him the footage and he’s going to deal with her so she won’t be coming back; the kids are currently with their dad anyway so all good on that front. DB will pack up their stuff and move it out and I’ll get the locks changed tomorrow too.

To those who asked, I have no idea who the agent is beyond their first name.

well done! So sorry you had this added to your stresses.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 25/02/2024 19:40

She can’t sell your house, unless she is on the property deeds, but when I mortgaged my house (after my husband left) I was told that my adult children needed to sign disclaimers, to avoid them having any claim against the property. I’d be asking them to leave pronto as she overstepped massively and could be far more serious.

Straycatblue · 25/02/2024 19:42

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 19:34

Thanks all, I naively assumed that there would be multiple checks and balances in place that would prevent major fraud so her trying to sell my house or anything of that magnitude didn’t even enter my head.

I have now signed up for land registry alerts and will also get on the Form LL restriction first thing tomorrow so thank you to the posters who suggested it.

I’ve spoken to my DB, sent him the footage and he’s going to deal with her so she won’t be coming back; the kids are currently with their dad anyway so all good on that front. DB will pack up their stuff and move it out and I’ll get the locks changed tomorrow too.

To those who asked, I have no idea who the agent is beyond their first name.

Well done OP , I imagine you're prob still reeling from it all

I know you don't know who estate agent is , it might be worth writing an email explaining situation & forwarding to several local estate agents = they may have own network they can share info with

Hoping that's the end of her strange interference

Make sure your ring doorbell is set to alert to your phone so even if you have changed locks you can still monitor people at door

SheepAndSword · 25/02/2024 19:44

@DontVisitCabotCove hallelujah! So she's gone. Good riddance.

Meowandthen · 25/02/2024 19:45

Janetime · 25/02/2024 16:29

Is this for real? Why would you not ask her why she’d got a valuation and immediately contact the agent and tell them she doesn’t own and it’s not for sale?

So odd that someone wouldn’t immediately do this.

WTF didn’t you just ask Jane what the hell she is playing out and give them all notice to leave?

Mrspatmoresspoon · 25/02/2024 19:48

She sounds batshit

Zone2NorthLondon · 25/02/2024 19:50

Meowandthen · 25/02/2024 19:45

So odd that someone wouldn’t immediately do this.

WTF didn’t you just ask Jane what the hell she is playing out and give them all notice to leave?

Show quote history

op has a life limiting illness,so imagine the mental & physical fatigue and demands that places upon @DontVisitCabotCove . Understandably it takes a lot of effort to challenge someone on this.

Fannyfiggs · 25/02/2024 19:51

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this whilst sick.

It's definitely weird and I would not be trusting 'Jane' as far as I could throw her. I'd want to find out what estate agent she used and be having a conversation with them to find out what she said to them.