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AIBU?

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Original poster

What is she up to?

807 replies

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 16:18

DB, his partner “Jane” & her 2 kids have been staying with me - in my house - after the house they were buying fell through. They had been looking at other properties to buy but have since decided to end their relationship so that’s no longer happening.

Yesterday while my DB and I were out and unbeknownst to me, Jane had an estate agent over to value my house & as he was leaving he told her he’d send her an email with the valuation & they were talking about viewings etc.

Today Jane asked me to give her a letter stating that my brother is living here but wouldn’t tell me why she wanted it & was really unhappy when I said I’d give her a letter saying they were both temporarily staying with me as that’s the actual truth.

What on earth could she be up to? I’m honestly baffled!

Should I tell her that I know about the valuation? Should I tell my DB about all of this?

On one hand I don’t want to get involved in their troubles or make things worse (things are bad enough between them already) but on the other hand I feel I’m being drawn into it as it’s my bloody house she had valued!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
SoEmbarrassed2024 · 26/02/2024 14:22

Hatty65 · 26/02/2024 13:14

I'm not necessarily suspicious of brother, but I do wonder if Jane is planning on telling her solicitor that he's about to inherit your house and therefore this is its value and it needs including in the divorce settlement?

I'm very sorry to hear about your illness; this is the last sort of stress that you need. I took 'life limiting' to mean that this will likely mean you don't make it to 100, rather than anything more immediate, but I do hope this isn't the case. Could Jane be planning on getting her grubby mitts on part of your house in future settlement, whilst you are still alive?

Ffs THEY ARE NOT MARRIED. RTFT

sandyhappypeople · 26/02/2024 14:23

DontVisitCabotCove · 26/02/2024 14:05

Thank you for all the support and well wishes, I really do appreciate it.

To answer some more questions:

  1. Yes I do have a will but my DB is not the executor, it’s actually my solicitor
  2. I think I caused some confusion regarding inheritance, my DB will not be inheriting this house but he will be inheriting from elsewhere in my estate to an equal value so he has no reason to be in on any scam regarding this house (even if he was wasn’t getting a bean, he wouldn’t do something like that anyway)
  3. I was in hospital on Saturday when the valuation took place and my DB was at work
  4. I have contacted my solicitor and have an appointment with them tomorrow morning
  5. I have also logged the situation with 101 just to be on the safe side and should get a callback at some point

We’ve found the estate agents (my parents spent the morning going around all the local ones with the still pic), the agent himself wasn’t there but the manager assured them that no official valuation will have been provided in the circumstances they described (there are checks and balances in place) but that I need to go in myself with all my info before I can get specifics. I’m currently in hospital so will try to get there before closing if I can.

I'm getting proper 'Thursday Murder Club' vibes from your parents going around the local estate agents to track down the guy on your video! Brilliant!😀

Glad they found him, you may be able to get some answers that way!

SoEmbarrassed2024 · 26/02/2024 14:25

Vonesk · 26/02/2024 13:52

Shes Covering All aspects of ' Living Arrangements ' to present to The Child Maintenance Service. Shes going above and beyond with Estate Agent so as to confuse you.
If Your Brother is living with ' Family' and ' rent free' then hes Liable for higher child maintenance payments.
Maybe ' the house really is half his' then shes covered all future claims ( for the house for herself)

They are not his kids

Cornflowers35 · 26/02/2024 14:26

If the house sale between the OP's DB and "Jane" has fallen through, what has happened to the deposit they presumably had?

Could "Jane" somehow be after a bigger slice of this?

Ariela · 26/02/2024 14:30

The kids are a red herring. They're Jane's. Not DB. As @DontVisitCabotCove repeatedly says.
There is no 'divorce settlement' as Jane and DB were not married.
The DB is NOT inheriting the house, although he will inherit something.

Jane is either trying on some scam to take over the house by fraudulent means, OR identity theft, OR trying to fake @DontVisitCabotCove 's signature on a rent guarantee for her new property, and for which she needs a proof of value.

I can't think of any other reason.

SheepAndSword · 26/02/2024 14:32

I'm sorry @DontVisitCabotCove this thread has become unintentionally funny as so many people can't grasp DB and Jane are NOT married and DO NOT have children together.

Hope it goes well at hospital.

ACynicalDad · 26/02/2024 14:35

Some people's brains seem to be wired a bit differently; how can anyone see this as reasonable?

SirVixofVixHall · 26/02/2024 14:35

Straycatblue · 25/02/2024 16:26

Em .... you're being very placid that someone who has unrestricted access to your house & not even in a relationship with your brother anymore has gone & got your house valued!

Of course tell your brother

Get her out & get your locks changed & seek legal advice & put in writing to the estate agent who valued it that it's not her house to sell !

Also don't engage with her re letter requests etc = your loyalty is to your brother (unless hidden back story) & it sounds like she's trying to screw him over somehow esp as they aren't his children & hes no longer in a relationship with her

Agree with this.

Straycatblue · 26/02/2024 14:38

SirVixofVixHall · 26/02/2024 14:35

Agree with this.

Show quote history

Thank you but the thread has long since moved on & the OP has been very proactive & already put lots of safeguards in action to protect herself inc all of the above & more

Hiddendoor · 26/02/2024 14:43

Why does the estate agent need information from you @DontVisitCabotCove ? You aren't selling the house!

Jane has had them in to value it under some false pretences. Are they suggesting they need your proof of ownership before they cancel whatever she has asked them to do? It definitely sounds like she is attempting fraud if she has told them she owns the house...

Regardless, this is all unnecessary stress you don't need. I'm sorry someone is doing that to you.

bunnibee · 26/02/2024 14:44

Maybe 'Jane' wants to buy your house from you, and got the agent in to get a ballpark figure to offer you?

Have you ever, lightly, in passing, mentioned that you might ever sell up one day @DontVisitCabotCove ? and she's jumping the gun a bit

Watermelon999 · 26/02/2024 14:46

Not rtwt but it could be:

  1. Jane is having an affair with the estate agent and he said that on the doorstep to make it look like a genuine call to any neighbour listening.
  2. Jane called the estate agent who she was buying the house through to have a meeting to arrange to view other properties for herself and her kids.
  3. Jane is planning something illegal involving fraud
MadMadamMimz · 26/02/2024 14:47

Well done OP. You are being very calm and pragmatic in a situation that would have me in meltdown. Sounds like you have all bases covered.

BobbyBiscuits · 26/02/2024 14:49

@pinkyredrose well I'd be worried she'd refuse to leave, the way she's carrying on. Thanks for saying I'm talking shite, really appreciate that.

Goldieremson · 26/02/2024 14:49

100% tell your brother an ask her straight out why she's had an estate agent round to value your house!! That's crazy to me an she's defenatly being sneaky if nothing else, I would be absolutely fuming an want her out my house to be quite honest how rude an snake like to do that to someone who is putting a roof over there head she cannot be trusted in my opinion ! Actually can't get my breath shes done that

pinkyredrose · 26/02/2024 14:51

BobbyBiscuits · 26/02/2024 14:49

@pinkyredrose well I'd be worried she'd refuse to leave, the way she's carrying on. Thanks for saying I'm talking shite, really appreciate that.

Always aim to please.

BeenThere0 · 26/02/2024 14:59

That's why I said it's best to change the locks first, while this Jane (and her children) is/are out of the house, then tell her she can't come in any more. Not get into a showdown with her inside the house. The less stress, the better.

Mymilkshakebringsallthepapstomycar · 26/02/2024 15:17

Ariela · 26/02/2024 14:30

The kids are a red herring. They're Jane's. Not DB. As @DontVisitCabotCove repeatedly says.
There is no 'divorce settlement' as Jane and DB were not married.
The DB is NOT inheriting the house, although he will inherit something.

Jane is either trying on some scam to take over the house by fraudulent means, OR identity theft, OR trying to fake @DontVisitCabotCove 's signature on a rent guarantee for her new property, and for which she needs a proof of value.

I can't think of any other reason.

I think the suggestion that she's trying to forge a rent guarantee in the name of the OP has some logic to it. Jane's demand for a letter of proof that the brother lives with the OP is possibly to create a "relative" connection to satisfy a landlord's guarantee requirements, if she's telling them that the DB is still her long term partner.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 26/02/2024 15:21

Sorry you're having to deal with this batshittery from a hospital bed. Your parents sound wonderful.

dandeliondandy · 26/02/2024 15:22

I would tell her to leave. No ifs, no buts. She is your brother's ex-GF with no family links to you. To even think of having YOUR house valued without asking is CF of the highest order. Perhaps she wants to try to claim that your DB has an interest in your home so she can claim? Who knows but it is very underhanded behaviour from her.

TempleOfBloom · 26/02/2024 15:22

She is an absolute snake!

I am so glad, OP, that you have your parents to help and support you and also that your brother is so pro-actively taking your side. It seems that he dodged a bullet in splitting up with her!

Appalling as it is I do suspect that SIL (Snake In Law) (not that she is 'in law' thank goodness) has it in mind to claim that she and her kids are dependent on your house. How long have they been there?

You have dealt with this so well, OP, and I am so sorry you have this kind of outrage imposed upon you when you are having the hardest of times.

Anyway, good luck with the eviction, I hope your parents and brother will be on hand to help deal with it. It would be good if it could be dealt with calmly for the sake of the children, maybe while they are at school?

PhamieGowsSong · 26/02/2024 15:32

Placemarking - as this is madness.

Vonesk · 26/02/2024 15:56

After a time lapse of Two hours and an opportunity to re- visit this post, I have a dire warning: The woman whom instigated the action with the Estate Agent is acting out of desperation and on my eyes is capable of anything. At this time she has ' GASLIT' you already , with the interaction with the Estate Agent. Asking for ' A Letter' ( refusing to say WHY).
Is She still resident in your house????
Does she hold a Contract to live in your house?????
It all needs clarifying.
Allegedly shes up to no good.
When someone resorts to ' Gaslighting ' its a Huge Danger Signal.

ThreeRingCircus · 26/02/2024 16:02

I'm so sorry OP. I'm sure you'll get it sorted but you don't need this extra stress.

Caroparo52 · 26/02/2024 16:03

CherryRipe1 · 25/02/2024 16:37

What @maximist said. Register for free property alerts. I suspect she could be arranging to scam you, selling your property on the sly. It happens! Have you got a large amount of equity in your property?

Fab tip . Have just registered my property on it. Just in case....