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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is she up to?

807 replies

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 16:18

DB, his partner “Jane” & her 2 kids have been staying with me - in my house - after the house they were buying fell through. They had been looking at other properties to buy but have since decided to end their relationship so that’s no longer happening.

Yesterday while my DB and I were out and unbeknownst to me, Jane had an estate agent over to value my house & as he was leaving he told her he’d send her an email with the valuation & they were talking about viewings etc.

Today Jane asked me to give her a letter stating that my brother is living here but wouldn’t tell me why she wanted it & was really unhappy when I said I’d give her a letter saying they were both temporarily staying with me as that’s the actual truth.

What on earth could she be up to? I’m honestly baffled!

Should I tell her that I know about the valuation? Should I tell my DB about all of this?

On one hand I don’t want to get involved in their troubles or make things worse (things are bad enough between them already) but on the other hand I feel I’m being drawn into it as it’s my bloody house she had valued!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Toomanyemails · 26/02/2024 09:31

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 21:54

Thanks again guys, I feel a bit of an idiot to be honest as any sort of fraud didn’t even enter my mind. My head is all over the place with trying to come to terms with my updated prognosis plus physically coping with treatment; I’m not usually this much of a dummy, I swear! Thank goodness for MN and also for the delivery driver putting my parcel in my wheelie bin instead of ringing the bell.

To answer some more questions:

  1. All my ID and personal documents are completely secure, they’re in a locked safe that no one (apart from my parents who are my LPAs) even knows about
  2. Due to my illness, my affairs are all in order and I have a solicitor so when I contact them about the Form LL restriction, I’ll check if there’s anything else I need to do
  3. I didn’t give Jane the letter she asked for so she won’t have a copy of my signature
  4. No I don’t have children and yes my DB is set to inherit (along with my other siblings) but as they’re not married I don’t believe she will have a claim on anything
  5. Yes their house purchase genuinely fell through and I have no suspicions about my DB’s motives as he’s already benefitted but Jane will definitely be worse off now they’ve broken up
  6. I don’t know much about Jane’s rental situation apart from her move in date and that she needs some furniture which I offered
  7. I have a DP but we don’t live together full time (due to him having kids) but he’s away at the moment

My DB is absolutely furious as obviously I don’t need this right now and he’s as baffled as I am. He’s told me he’ll get to the bottom of it though and get me the name of the estate agent and also encouraged me to log it with police as some of you have.

Haven't read all replies to see if it's already been suggested but can your DB phone round all estate agents in your area to find out if they've viewed your property? He can explain the situation and that it's linked to potential fraud, especially once you have reported to the police. Depending how unusual the first name was, he could search first to narrow down to firms with an agent of that name listed on staff.
I suggest your DB handles it so that you don't have more to deal with, sounds like she's totally taking advantage of your kindness and possible distraction by more serious things you're dealing with!

Ariela · 26/02/2024 09:32

I'm thinking she needs a guarantor, and as such is seeking to value your property and potentially 'sign' you up as guarantor.

She can probably get a rent guarantee from the Council, most councils offer this.

erikbloodaxe · 26/02/2024 09:32

Too invested in this thread. Just place marking for update.

SoEmbarrassed2024 · 26/02/2024 09:36

NotAgainWilson · 26/02/2024 04:56

This not rude. What is actually happening here is that she has valued your house to ask in court for most of the equity of the house they sold as your brother is properly housed in a house of the same standard.

If I were you, I would ask both to leave. Her, as she is abusing your welcome and using it to screw your brother; and your brother because if he stays in there, the courts are likely to agree with her and give him a smaller percentage of the assets if he is the main earner.

The op says that the house they were buying was to be their first property together. Also they weren't married and the kids aren't his so there is absolutely nothing to go to court about

MadMadamMimz · 26/02/2024 09:55

RoseAndRose · 26/02/2024 09:30

This is probably really bad advice, but I'd supply a letter saying

"My DBro is staying here temporarily on an informal family basis. He has no right to occupy nor any interest in the property"

(Typing name at bottom, not signing)

I would strongly advise the OP to provide no letter at all. Particularly given Jane has not said why she needs one and any niceties have gone out the window the moment Jane thought it was a good idea to contact an estate agent to value OPs house!

babybons · 26/02/2024 09:57

Probably needs a guarantor. Using you.

Or she's pregnant, but they are not married and not his children...but lots of women still believe in common law wife status! Did he have the deposit money?

Shinyandnew1 · 26/02/2024 10:03

Did you brother have any idea what she was playing at, OP?

Slanabhaile · 26/02/2024 10:35

They're not married, the DC aren't his, they've no joint assets..... I'd tell her to move out now. What an awful thing for her to do.

outofthewoulds · 26/02/2024 10:35

No practical advice at all from me but really sorry you are going through this OP! I hope your brother is able to sort it all out with the estate agents.

SheepAndSword · 26/02/2024 10:44

I'm quite fascinated by Jane, as she is so...odd

Grumpsy · 26/02/2024 10:50

This has to be one of the strangest things I’ve read on here. I admire your restraint, but would have her gone immediately.

JudgeJ · 26/02/2024 10:51

hummmmm · 25/02/2024 23:22

Word of warning op, when you set up the alert with land registry you will get an annual "nothing to report" message which looks enough like a 'someone did something' alert from the subject line that it makes me panic Every. Single. Time. It drops into my inbox 😂

Oh yes! I got mine a few weeks ago and even after a few years I still get a bit of a shock at the subject line!

JudgeJ · 26/02/2024 10:53

Gloriosaford · 26/02/2024 00:41

More front than Woolworths!

Is that you Mum???? She, the sister, is probably all fur coat and no knickers too!

StressefHousePurchase · 26/02/2024 10:56

Surely this is not real? What the fuck

SealHouse · 26/02/2024 11:07

Mombie · 25/02/2024 22:31

Ok she needs to go and so does your brother. He maybe entirely innocent but the circumstances are really odd.
They move in, he stands to inherit and she wants to prove that he has some sort of beneficial right to your property before he has inherited the property and has it valued without your consent so that she can stake a claim to it.
Two things:
Where did you and your brother go when the estate agent was over? Who planned it and how long were you out?
What exactly are the circumstances of their house sale falling through? What do u know about their finances. Do they have the funding/deposit for their new home?

In these circumstances nobody, not even their children should stay with you until you get to the bottom of it. Sit down with your brother and her and if possible another trusted third party and tell them that they need to leave.

Find and contact the estate agent so you know what she said to him about house ownership, why she was getting it valued etc.

I agree with this. This situation is very odd. OP how fully do you trust your brother? You say that he will eventually inherit a share of your property, along with other siblings. Could he be planning to in some way scam your other siblings out of their share of your inheritance? Apologies if this is an offensive suggestion and I feel a bit melodramatic even typing that out, but these kinds of scenarios do happen, where money is at stake people can be ruthless. Please tell your other siblings about what has happened.
I'm sorry you have to deal with something like this with everything else you are facing.

mydamnfootstuckinthedoor · 26/02/2024 11:08

Do not give her any such letter. She is clearly valuing your house and asserting he lives there in order to add it to their marital assets.

madeinmanc · 26/02/2024 11:09

RoseAndRose · 26/02/2024 09:30

This is probably really bad advice, but I'd supply a letter saying

"My DBro is staying here temporarily on an informal family basis. He has no right to occupy nor any interest in the property"

(Typing name at bottom, not signing)

Do not provide ANYTHING, OP.

GuinnessBird · 26/02/2024 11:11

RoseAndRose · 26/02/2024 09:30

This is probably really bad advice, but I'd supply a letter saying

"My DBro is staying here temporarily on an informal family basis. He has no right to occupy nor any interest in the property"

(Typing name at bottom, not signing)

Yes it's bad advice, yet you proceeded to post it anyway.

starfishmummy · 26/02/2024 11:14

But does Jane know that? Does she care? Or is she deluded enough to think she might get her mitts on a slice of the house because she's lived with OP's DB

I am wondering what the OP's DB has told Jane about ownership of the OPs house? Is she under the impression that he part owns it?

Whatever the answer I'd be giving her marching orders. Jane was a guest only because she was OP's brothers pajrtner and now there is no reason for her to stay. She has no status as a tenant and can be asked to leave at any time.

FeltCarrot · 26/02/2024 11:14

Have you or your brother asked Jane why she was having your house valued? I’d like to see her squirm when she realises she’s been found out!

BrightLightdarklight · 26/02/2024 11:14

Really glad posting has helped.

SalviaDivinorum · 26/02/2024 11:17

If you haven't already sign up for the land registry property alert scheme in case she tries to apply for the property records.

They will let you know if anyone does attempt this. It may stop the house being sold out from underneath you

murasaki · 26/02/2024 11:25

I hope your brother is moving her stuff out today. Cheeky mare.

ToothFairy2023 · 26/02/2024 11:25

OP I am so sorry about your health. Some people will go to unimaginable terrible lengths that most of us wouldn’t think possible. My uncles ex wife forged his signature on all kinds of documents and defrauded him out of thousands of pounds and instead of retiring early fairly comfortably off. He ended up owing thousands and having to work until his mid 70’s (fortunately he was self employed and able to do this until his health failed). She has also done the same to two other men (one before him, one after him, has spent time in prison and is now also trying to get money out of her daughter now.

anon20 · 26/02/2024 11:31

I'd report her to the police if it was me.