Are my DC hyper or AIBU as my expectations are warped ?

[coveruplep]

My DC always around and jump off furniture after dinner. Like a circuit. Yes I tell to stop but they start again or go in another room and do it. They are very wired in the evenings. We have a healthy diet mostly home cooked, protein, carbs and vegetables and have exercise, fresh air & down time each day including screen time, but not excessive or super restricted.

The running about is straight after main course, they cannot seem to stay sitting and get down after a few minutes. It’s not a sugar thing like after giving a sweet pudding, although I appreciate all carbs are sugar. It’s daily.

Ages nearly 7 & 4, been trying to sit at table as family for dinner forever. Now I don’t know AIBU the expectation they should be able to sit still for 10 minute dinner or did I start the expectation when too young and now there’s a habit of getting up and not staying seated ? How long should they be able to sit at their ages?

Seems the few people I’ve asked about a comparison on this do not do family sit down at the table dinners. Told that the kids eat in front of Tv or on children’s table or sofa so it’s not so formal or more come to table to collect food, but not sit at it. Have one friend we’ve eaten at table when on a play date, but kids get down quickly too, but not hyper like mine.

I find some like this impossible to know what is “normal” expectations as I grew up in vvvv strict family so you behaved or got beaten, so I find it hard to know what expectation is realistic with my children. No other little children in family.

DH says I’m not strict enough and let them get down from table without asking. Obviously I am maybe too lenient as I try to break the circle. Tonight DH was out and behavior was even looser, but DC seemed more relaxed but it’s the weekend. Is it possibly ADHD instead ? How can you stop it anyway without consequences?

I don't think her advice was patronising at all. If you live in a flat and don't have outside space then unfortunately it means more trips out on bikes or to the park, or signing them up for more physical activities, or accepting that your kids will run around and be active inside instead.

@Needmorelego (love the name btw. I love lego)

Wasn't meant to be patronising but the OP doesn't seem to "get" that kids need to move hence trying to explain it

I did live in an upstairs flat when I lived in a city. We walked to the park most days then (on mat leave) as we had no garden.

I have a crappy garden now but when they I had infant school kids we had the mud garden /cheap stuff to do in the garden.

And I've had periods of disability when yes we've had the kids dance videos/cbeebies move type things on tv and accepted clambering. As they've got bigger weve put in a pull up bar, got a fold out beam and I expect we allow more Clambering than many allow because we we are limited sometimes.

Other families with more mobility do all the cycling/hiking/football/whatever their sport is. I don't have that level hence work around ss hence trying to help the OP.

Thanks life- yes that exactly.

I haven't read the whole thread but have 2 boys same age and dinner time is usually a lot of reminders about sitting down/not wandering off. They would still eat with their hands if I let them.

7 year old will generally stay at the table but will lie on the bench/walk his feet up the wall behind him/flop around. They are both good eaters, no issues with food.
They are better when in a big group (ie are copying older cousins) and better when they have had a lot of outdoor play but this is not always possible on a school day.
Also better if we play eye spy or similar word game.

I'm hoping it will work itself out in a few years 🤞

@AmazingLemonDrizzle I apologise for saying it was patronising.
It can be frustrating living in a flat although I think I dream of outdoor space more than my daughter - just for somewhere to hang my washing out 😂
When my daughter was younger we did go to parks more often and there is a play park next to our flats. But in winter when it's cold, wet and getting dark at 4 neither of us wanted to be outside.
@lifebeginsaftercoffee unfortunately another issue with living in a flat - there's no where to store a bike.