Do you allow your 17-year-old to…

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Have completely unrestricted and unsupervised phone access (so not even having to leave phone downstairs at nighttime)

Work part-time if still at school or college.

Learn to drive (either self-funded from wages or with parental help)

Travel in a car driven by a 17-year-old

Stay overnight at the home of a friend you do not know

Use public transport alone at night

Regulate their own sleep, even if this means getting out of bed at 3pm on a weekend

Stay home alone overnight or for multiple days

Be out and about without you know really knowing exactly where they are at any given moment

When I was 17 it wouldn't even have occurred to me to mentionif I'd got a lift in a friend's car instead of getting the bus. Like some PPs I also went to uni at 17 so did most of the things except that I am old so no-one had phones.

Yes, that’s not to say I don’t worry, my 17 year old is pretty sensible so tends to keep me informed (and I do ask questions) but I trust them to make sensible decisions.

Of course. He's never been in a car with another 17 year old they are all learner's at the moment.

True - I would add to my post that I still worry - even though the older ones are 21 and 19! They are good, sensible kids but if I don;t at least see them on Insta posting once a day I do panic!

Have completely unrestricted and unsupervised phone access (so not even having to leave phone downstairs at nighttime)
Yes

Work part-time if still at school or college.

Yes

Learn to drive (either self-funded from wages or with parental help)
Yes

Travel in a car driven by a 17-year-old
Never asked would depend on friend

Stay overnight at the home of a friend you do not know
Yes

Use public transport alone at night

Never asked

Regulate their own sleep, even if this means getting out of bed at 3pm on a weekend
They go to ed earlier than me by choice

Stay home alone overnight or for multiple days
Yes

Be out and about without you know really knowing exactly where they are at any given moment
Yes but rarely happens

They are a year from being a legally recognised adult. If you haven’t let go of the reins on most- if not all- of these things are they prepared for life?

Edited to add: but will worry even when they are 40!!!

Yes

Yes to all except the lat one - but even now in my 30s I usually tell someone where I am going (unless it’s just to work or the shops), just in case. I always would if I was going out of town or going somewhere at night in the car.

My youngest is 18 in a couple of months so I can answer this easily. Yes to all, except the public transport because we don’t have any that runs at night!
When his friends started passing their driving tests we had a conversation about only going in the car with those he trusts to drive safely, not getting in the car with anyone who has been drinking or taking drugs, and being respectful of the driver.
I know he has friends over if I’m not at home but they leave no evidence other than there’s several empty glasses on the side so no worries about him staying at home overnight on his own.
My eldest didn’t necessarily because of Covid, and she was the first of her friends to pass her driving test.

Yes to most of it

No to 1,5,7,8 and 9 not at night despite what many people on my seem to think a 17 year old is not an adult and still needs parental guidance care and support.

17 year old can work full time, drive, have a baby, join the army, live alone. If you can’t trust your 17 year old what makes you think they’ll turn 18 and suddenly be an adult? At 17 they should basically be an adult but know you’re there if needed and that need reduces as they get older and start to build their own family network

It is due to my care, guidance and support that my 17yo was able to do those things. They are age appropriate things to do and unless your DC has significant needs, they should be able to do them in readiness for possible independent living at uni/outside of the home at 18.

No. But once he turned 18 and went to uni then yes

Genuine question to those saying no. What happens when they turn 18? Do they magically know how to do all of those things? Or di they learn when they leave home for uni/work etc?

Surely it's better for them to learn how to self regulate and manage their time and themselves when they are within the support blanket of home? Otherwise it's an even bigger learning curve for them when they move out.

My answer is yes to them, but for number 1 during term time week nights phone is downstairs.

Yes to everything.

Yes. Impossible to stop them, really

They can do all those things and still have parental guidance, care and support.
By the time they are 17 you have to hope all the previous years of parenting have paid off and let them have some independence and responsibility knowing they have the safety net of home.

Have completely unrestricted and unsupervised phone access (so not even having to leave phone downstairs at nighttime)

they didn’t need to leave it down stairs but the deal was we could look at their phone if we wanted to (don’t think we ever did)

Work part-time if still at school or college

yes…but they didnt

Learn to drive (either self-funded from wages or with parental help)

Yes, we paid for driving lessons and a shared car

Travel in a car driven by a 17-year-old

Yes, never checked

Stay overnight at the home of a friend you do not know

yes, i don’t think it ever happened

Use public transport alone at night

Regulate their own sleep, even if this means getting out of bed at 3pm on a weekend

yes but they had to get up for college and hobby/family stuff

Stay home alone overnight or for multiple days

yes, but i think it only happened once or twice

Be out and about without you know really knowing exactly where they are at any given moment

they told us where they were going but if plans changed we might not have known, again it didn’t happen often

my 3 children were home birds for one reason or another so maybe not as independent as other 17 year olds

oh missed the public transport at night question

they never used it

When I think back to when I was 17 I think I did far more. I’d worked full time since leaving school wt 16. I had a part time
weekend job as well as my YTS job, I passed my driving test a few months after turning 17. Used to go to clubs and nightclubs with my friends and we used to have a designated driver, I stayed overnight with friends, got my first long term boyfriend, didn’t always tell my parents where I was, got drunk on a regular basis, went abroad with the girls and by the time I was 19 I was engaged and bought my first house.

I thought I was grown up at the time but wish I hadn’t rushed some of these things

Yes, to all of those except I'd rather he didn't go in a car with a 17 year old driver. Hia girlfriend is learning to drive but I really don't want him to be driven by her if she passes her test. We live in a city so hopefully not much need.
DS is really independent, he is sensible and seems beyond his years. Hard to explain but it would seem most ridiculous to infantilise him in this way. He looks out for everyone including me and his little sister. I don't ask him to he is just made that way.

His Dad is similar so when I met him he seemed older than his years.

Yes to all.

Having a teenager in bed until 3pm would have me itching however I was the EXACT same as a teenager and I am so glad my parents let me push the boundaries of bedtimes and sleep schedules. If you can’t do that as a teen, when can you

The only one that I haven't had to deal with (with 17 or 18 year old) is the car one. Mainly because none of their friends can afford to drive and we live in a city with public transport. It would make me worry more than anything though mainly because of memories of terrible teen driving.