Solo parenting for a weekend

[Mamabear04]

I know it's a bit ridiculous to post this but DH is going on a stag doo next weekend for 2 nights/3 days and I am secretly worried how I'll cope looking after DC alone. They are 4 years and 19 months and while I know I can do it I just feel slightly overwhelmed at the workload that's coming my way. DH helps out a lot with the kids and always pulls his weight. I'm a SAHM and DH works from home and will help where he can (putting on jackets and shoes when we go out or will prep lunch for when we come back from wherever we've been), DS is an early waker (usually 5am ish) and he always gets up with him so I can sleep until 7am and then when he finishes work he always baths the kids because by bedtime I'm usually exhausted. I know I am very fortunate having so much help but I'm also worried that I'll be really exhausted. My 4 year olds behaviour hasn't been so good the past couple of weeks and DS is tantrum central atm. I feel like a bit of a failure even admitting this as I know so many mums with such little help from their partners and then I am in awe of single parents (how do they even do it?!) AIBU to feel this way?

It doesn’t have to be tv. Just something that they will think is a treat but which actually makes your life a lot easier. 😂 best of luck it won’t be as bad as you think.

the other thing I do when he’s away is organise a Chinese delivery as a reward for myself for flying solo. It also motivates me to make sure they are down before the delivery slot!

whatever works 😂😂🫣

Do you have a garden? My 4yo DD prone to strops just loves being out in the garden by herself, just chuck her outside with some water and paint brush and tell her to paint the fence! That's really all it takes to entertain my strop fest! She loves it!

Sometimes, simple stuff is better than getting ourselves all stressed out thinking we should be doing all these wonderful, expensive activities.

Also just explain, daddy is away so we're doing something different, just us 3, next weekend we can do our regular stuff.

Also, it's not the end of world if the kids miss a bath.

You'll be fine.

Single mum here.

Preparation is key. Get yourself ready before engaging with dcs.
Accept that things will take a little longer so start earlier
Accept that 5 minutes late is not a crime in the grand scheme of things.
Go to bed as early as you can

You'll be fine

It will be alright on the night! As they say...

Maybe set yourself up something nice to look forward to in the evenings whilst he is away and the kids are in bed. A nice takeaway, a chance to watch a film, a box of chocolate. Give yourself a chance to wind down

Sounds like it will do you good tbh, how on earth you've got this far without solo parenting for 2 days I am struggling to comprehend. I can imagine the stick a dad would get if he had posted this. It's a weekend. They're your children. You'll be fine.

It'll be ok. And really good for your confidence.

I ended up solo parenting unexpectedly when DH had to go to another country for a funeral for a fortnight, mine were a bit younger than yours but as it was so unexpected I didn't have the worry time ahead of it! It will be hard but you can totally do it, plan for it now, do some food prep, plan simple meals, organise activities to get you out of the hoise and get a shop in ready. Do they need a bath each day?!

Preparation is your friend.

Have easy meals and activities planned, movie evening, long walk etc. Back up plan for if the weather isn't right.

YANBU to feel this way but I promise you'll be absolutely fine. I'm a single mum and solo parented a lot when I was with my ex. It's nerve wracking the first time and overwhelming but I promise you've got this!! You will be tired but if you have 2 children already you'll be well versed in it anyway!

You'll be OK OP. Make plans with friends/family if they're close by, plan meals ahead and most of all, don't beat yourself up if there is less decorum than normal. 😉
I actually found bathtime to be a really good distraction for my two when they were bored. Make a cuppa and stick them in with loads of toys, sit back and supervise!

Agree with the others. Planning is key - try and do theme days with activities for it in the morning and afternoon. For example I did a room on the broom day - where we read the book first thing and then made witches hats and then went for a walk in the park to collect sticks and made brooms at home! With breakfast, lunch and dinner that's a whole day sorted. Movie day is also a great one, all the duvets in the living room, snacks and make tickets and popcorn buckets in the morning!

As others have said preparation is key. Outfits out the night before, simple, easy meals, perhaps plan a schedule of sorts.

One thing I would say is don't overdo commit or set schedules or goals that will only stress you out. My kids favourite things at that age were the simple things- fun bath bombs in the bath, puddle jumping, floor picnics, living room sleep overs (perhaps on the last night). You could always arrange a play date one of the days for some moral support.

Your husband sounds lovely ❤. I'm sure it feels daunting and you will feel tired but you'll cope. I used to feel anxious about going out on my own with tiny ones then I had my third (and one of mine is autustic!) And just got a bit tougher. I always think what's the actual worst that can happen?! So they have a strop somewhere, we just exit! Or solve it with a biscuit/rice cake! Get out in the fresh air each day to wear them out. Get early nights yourself. Get a McDonalds if you need one!
My husband has to go away with his work and I feel anxious before hand but then get into the swing of it on my owb (always with so much respect for single parents coping alone fulltime though)

You'll feel really proud and have more confidence in yourself by the end.

I honestly think it will do you good ….

You are more than capable of looking after your own two children .

plan something fun you know what they enjoy . Activities based on that . The four year old can help little one . Making cakes is a great one . Puddle jumping if it’s raining .. The park burns off steam .

make play don in advance . Loads of recipes on line..

Ffs try being a widowed parent!

YABU
Some people are single parents 365 days per year.

You can do this! It'll seem overwhelming because it's the first time you've done something like this but you're their mum, it'll be fine! They're just kids.

Echoing everyone else's advice of making sure you've got food in/meals planned/washing done in advance. If you've got friends or family around for a visit that'll give you some company too. And some activities like a park/soft play/museum that you know they'll like.
Sometimes when my husband is away I go to bed straight after the kids if I'm feeling particularly knackered 🤣. Sometimes I use the time to have a glass of wine and watch something I know he'd not be fussed by. Both nice ways to spend a solo evening!

No one is saying that other people don’t have it harder but that doesn’t mean that the op isn’t feeling overwhelmed. Doing anything that you are not used to can be overwhelming.
I have a lot of sympathy for you but you get used to something because you have to and not necessarily by choice.

As others have said, plan ahead a bit. Stock up on some new colouring, stickers, kinetic sand from B&M or similar. Go to parks, a forest walk, puddle jumping, picky bits finger food, mini pizzas. It doesn't have to be expensive or Instagram -worthy. It's just your two kids, nothing out of the ordinary. Get your four year old to see it as a chance to be a big girl helping mummy to do her own shoes and coat while you help the baby, that sort of thing.

Good grief. Take them out for at least half the day. Anywhere. Park, soft play, swimming. Your anxiety sounds real but it’s touched a nerve with me who did 99% of everything when my children were that age. Yes, I was very, very tired. But… that’s life with small children. (It’s not the goal to have a lightweight husband who’s useless btw and reader, I divorced him).

Sorry OP but I agree with this

I do understand. We adopted a 3 year old and DH took the first two weeks after placement as annual leave. I well remember that sinking feeling of dread at 7.30 as we waved DH off at the front door on the Monday morning, his first day back to work, and being left alone with this child for the next 11 hours until DH got back in the evening.

But you know what? It was fine. I had a plan and I stuck to it. The day passed surprisingly quickly.

I had discovered my new DS liked a bubbly bath, so I had got some new bath toys and some very cheap bubble bath and he spent a happy hour that afternoon playing in the bath with his toys and adding more bubble bath to make lots of froth.

That was actually one of his favourite things to do, and it became a bit of a running joke, every new toy would end up in the bath. A few years later he spent the whole of one Christmas morning in the bath with a new submarine and aircraft carrier!

You don’t solo parent for a weekend. Solo parents not only care but have all the financial and emotional stress 24/7. Poor choice of words. if you can’t do one weekend you need professional help.

All this

I agree with this. When I had 3 under 3 my DH regularly worked away sometimes overnight occasionally for a week. Yes it could be difficult but i coped and in those days we didn't have soft play although they did all like watching TV.