Partner makes me feel ugly

[WhyWhyY]

I am coming to terms with leaving, but sometimes I second guess myself.

AIBU, one of my children is going through a teenage phase and sometimes her emotions get the better of her. She was being spiteful one day and said
”you’re ugly even dad thinks so” and when I recounted this to my partner he just laughed. Nothing more.

A week later I came home with a new haircut and child said I looked weird (I know I know but hormones are coming in and I try to let it go) but again, he didn’t say anything he just laughed and went back to his computer.

we haven’t had sexual relations in years and he’s not very loving to me at all in any other way but I’m so full of self doubt.

is this normal? Am I being sensitive?

he’s very loving towards our kids, tells them they are beautiful etc so it’s not as if he’s just that way sigh

Hormones are no excuse for being rude to someone in this way. Sounds like she’s picked up some nasty habits from her dad.

I agree and we have spoken about it, but if I’m honest it only lands because of how I feel anyway. Otherwise WHAT she said wouldn’t make much difference apart from being rude but to say that which was pretty true, really bit.

Not normal.

Your kids are being very rude to you. I would tell them to stop with their hurtful comments and treat you with respect. Sounds like your husband doesn't want to get involved.

He sounds unkind. How do you feel about him? Does the lack of sex bother you? I don't think I'd be happy to stay like that forever.

Your child is rude, your husband is a dick.

Resentful now, if Im honest. Hasn’t always been that way.
I feel dreadful about it, Im very tactile and I find it hard that there is zero affection and Al of that. It’s all been communicated and nothing changes.

im just glad it seems like im not being hypersensitive

I feel like the bigger/ real issue is not having sex for years. How do you feel about that?

Your kid is a rude little fucker. I would not have dreamed of speaking to my mother in that way, and if I had I would have been given short shrift, not had my behaviour waved away with 'it's just hormones'. Kindly, you need to grow a spine. That is easier said than done, but it sounds to me as if your whole family take you for granted. Is your partner nice to you at all, or does he behave as if you're just there?

Oh he behaves like I’m not here.

Sorry cross posted. But yeah, awful.

How would you feel about leaving? You could find someone who appreciates you and gives you what you need. He sounds awful.

That is awful. Has he always been like this, or has it been a gradual thing?

Your child is treating you like shit because they see your husband treating you like shit. Get out and get some confidence back. Your children will not respect you if you don’t respect yourself and leave that horrendous man.

Im getting there. It’s huge for me, it’s his house and we’re not married so
i have a lot to
prepare before I could even think about it.

It’s been gradual to be fair but it has been this way now since just before Covid.

Totally understandable, it would be a huge upheaval. I do agree with PP though that the disrespect from your kids will be being encouraged by the disrespect for him. That's a miserable way for you to have to live.

Your kids is truly awful for treating you this way. I guess he learnt it from his father. I would leave him and give your dc the option of where he wants to live.

Seriously?

you read so many times that relationships aren’t all hearts and flowers and it’s not like you see in the movies.

I wasn’t sure what it was like for others really.

we don’t hug or kiss or sit together. We socialise separately (that’s a whole other thread!) he doesn’t really speak very much to me other than about our shared commitments. If I mention going out or doing something he never wants to.

I just thought maybe that’s what real long term relationships were like. But I must admit iM very lonely

Wow! What a rude and horrible little Madame..I would have hit the fucking roof with the pair of them 🤬

^Im getting there. It’s huge for me, it’s his house and we’re not married so
i have a lot to
prepare before I could even think about it.^

So start to think about YOU! Your future.

Fuck your partner. He doesn't care about you and he's very toxic. Even your kids are picking up on it.

I would go to Womens Aid and get your ducks in a row.

There's a difference between 'not what you see in the movies' and emotional neglect, which is what you are sadly experiencing. Most people don't have perfect relationships, but a relationship should be founded on love and mutual respect, or what is the point of it?

Unacceptable behaviour from your teenager, which I'd be having a word with her about. Tell her how hurtful it is, and rude.

I'd consider leaving your partner. It's not normal behaviour at all. He sounds awful and there's no intimacy.

No its not normal, they are both disgusting.

Your kid is horrible. As is your husband.

You're worth more than this.