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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry that Scarlet Blake is being called a woman.

795 replies

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2024 15:42

Scarlet Blake has been found guilty of murder. He also tortured and killed a cat.

He is not a woman.

This shouldn't be reported as a woman's crime.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-68360122

Scarlet Blake

Cat killer Scarlet Blake found guilty of murdering Jorge Martin Carreno

Jorge Martin Carreno was pulled from a river after being killed by Scarlet Blake in 2021.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-68360122

OP posts:
Thread gallery
34
WomaninBoots · 24/02/2024 17:09

Gingangoolee · 24/02/2024 17:00

Asking that the sex at birth of a perpetrator of a heinous crime be reported in a way that the majority of people understand needn’t affect the day to day lives law abiding trans people.

It needn't but it does because they are all clenching their minds so fucking hard against anything that challenges their delusion about themselves all the time. Anything that breaks through is intolerable to them.

Pointing out that a psychopathic murderer and cat torturer is male is too much of a reality check.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/02/2024 17:09

I know all this is a massive de-rail but it is also illustrative of the utter codswallop of it all... the codswallop that our institutions all seem to have swallowed hook, linear fucking sinker.

I know, it's insulting, infuriating and despair-inducing how ridiculous this all is.

UtterlyOtterly · 24/02/2024 17:09

Gosh, I've been womaning wrong for well over 60 years. If it wasn't gone 5 pm I would be rushing up to Boots to buy some red lipstick for the first time in my life. But I've been up a ladder pruning trees all afternoon, in jeans, hard hat and steel capped boots, and left it too late.

This case is local to me, I walk those same streets weekly. I am incensed that a violent man is being recorded as a woman in any media outlet. Shame on the BBC, on Meridian, on the Oxford Mail and on every other news source saying he's a woman.

It is a male crime, women do not want him. Men, if you have any decency, claim him publicly as your own. Do your bit to stand up to this fiction.

EasternStandard · 24/02/2024 17:10

WomaninBoots · 24/02/2024 17:05

Female and male aren't fucking "mammalian" either.... waaaaaaaay more ancient that that.

I know all this is a massive de-rail but it is also illustrative of the utter codswallop of it all... the codswallop that our institutions all seem to have swallowed hook, linear fucking sinker.

Ffs ‘mammalian’

What horseshit is delivered our way

lifeturnsonadime · 24/02/2024 17:11

I seriously can't believe that Erin has chosen this thread to write about how wearing red -lipstick is to resemble the vulva.

I mean seriously. No woman would write such misogynistic claptrap.

And @TheKeatingFive incel -

Dictionary definition-

incel
/ˈɪnsɛl/
noun

  1. a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active.
  2. "self-identified incels have used the internet to find anonymous support"
WomaninBoots · 24/02/2024 17:11

PLANTS have male and female parts. Lol. "I'm a scientist tho"

K bro.

TheKeatingFive · 24/02/2024 17:14

But I've been up a ladder pruning trees all afternoon, in jeans, hard hat and steel capped boots, and left it too late.

Shame on you sister. How will anyone know you have a vagina if you carry on like that?

Kalevala · 24/02/2024 17:14

Imagine waking up and seeing a man in the mirror. In that scenario would it be realistic for me to just tell you to "get on with your life, that's your body now"? Or would you try to do something about it?

I don't think I would be happy about male genitals. The rest I could get on with, but then I present as fairly androgynous. It seems many male trans people keep their man parts though.

Whatthechicken · 24/02/2024 17:22

lifeturnsonadime · 24/02/2024 17:11

I seriously can't believe that Erin has chosen this thread to write about how wearing red -lipstick is to resemble the vulva.

I mean seriously. No woman would write such misogynistic claptrap.

And @TheKeatingFive incel -

Dictionary definition-

incel
/ˈɪnsɛl/
noun

  1. a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active.
  2. "self-identified incels have used the internet to find anonymous support"

Erin called it a vagina - I think that tells us quite a lot. And….it’s not a fetish….but don’t you feel sexy when your red lips resemble a vagina?

pickledandpuzzled · 24/02/2024 17:22

Erin394 · 24/02/2024 16:28

You've completely missed the boat in anger. I never said that trans women are female. I said they are women.

Female = Mammalian/Sex
Woman = Human/Gender identity.

You can be a female and feel like a woman, or you can be male and feel like a woman. Being a woman is related to ones internal sense-of-self. It's how we feel about ourselves and unique to all of us. Having ovaries doesn't make you judge and jury over anyones sense-of-self.

And of course you talk of paraphilia's...we're back here again are we? Back to autogynephilia? When trans women go on HRT, their sex drive usually plummets and they tend to become impotent. It makes no sense. If it's sexual, then why we not de-transition when the so called "paraphilic disorder" element disappears?

And don't you like feeling sexy? When women wear lingerie and red lipstick so their lips resemble a vagina, is that not sexual? You don't like feeling desirable? Of course most women do...but if a trans woman does these things, suddenly it's a paraphilia? Maybe it's just us feeling in-tune with our femininity and sense-of-self, the same as it is with most women.

Plus, even when it is sexual and comes up later in life (which it does for some trans women) it's usually merely an outlet because it's the only way they feel able to express their femininity and experience euphoria. Hence when they go on HRT, the so called "paraphilias" disappear.

For most of us, it's not sexual. I hated being a boy from as young as 5 years old. I asked for a dolls house for my 6th birthday and was refused and reprimanded. I knew I wanted to be a girl before I knew anything about sex. I couldn't bear the idea of living as a boy or growing old as a man. I would have rather taken my own live 100 times over. Just as most people would if their gender identity doesn't match their gender expression. Imagine waking up and seeing a man in the mirror. In that scenario would it be realistic for me to just tell you to "get on with your life, that's your body now"? Or would you try to do something about it?

Ironic that you say we have mental illnesses, yet when we transition, the mental illnesses rates among us seem to plummet. Seems we're not fixing the "illness" in "the right way" in your view? Even the pseudo-scientist Ray Blanchard who peddled the same paraphilia argument last century (and was humbled some decades ago) came to the conclusion that transitioning was the best solution. But "I've got a degree in molecular biology" over here knows what's best for us apparently!

The thing is, we do just want to get on with our lives. We don't ask for much. Mostly just basic HRT and gender identity clinic access so we can transition and become productive members of society with decent well-being, for people to treat us with dignity as human beings like everyone else, and for people to not thrust being trans front and centre when anything bad happens.

Case in point - here we have a psychopath and a murderer, but the priority on mumsnet is that the criminal is trans? That's what angers people about this person? Seriously? Maybe reflect on that a bit. It's insane.

I wear lipstick and clothes because it’s socially acceptable, not to feel sexy. That’s very much a teenage perspective- indeed a teenage boy.

I am fucking outraged about the rubbish you have sown on this thread- pseudoscience, and downright bunkum. Have you heard of DARVO because you are demonstrating it nicely.

Suggesting that men with ED are not dangerous, or capable of sexual assault, that their presence isn’t upsetting and traumatising to the vulnerable women in prison- the vast majority of whom are not violent.

Unlike some PPs I don’t have a science degree but as a well known woman says, I’m not a vet but….
And in the words of the late great Magdalen Berns, I’d rather be rude than a fucking liar.

I am disgusted that you’d come here, Erin, and mansplain that this criminal should be pandered to in the press and in a women’s prison because it’s respectful. Show some respect yourself, you MRA.

WomaninBoots · 24/02/2024 17:23

pickledandpuzzled · 24/02/2024 17:22

I wear lipstick and clothes because it’s socially acceptable, not to feel sexy. That’s very much a teenage perspective- indeed a teenage boy.

I am fucking outraged about the rubbish you have sown on this thread- pseudoscience, and downright bunkum. Have you heard of DARVO because you are demonstrating it nicely.

Suggesting that men with ED are not dangerous, or capable of sexual assault, that their presence isn’t upsetting and traumatising to the vulnerable women in prison- the vast majority of whom are not violent.

Unlike some PPs I don’t have a science degree but as a well known woman says, I’m not a vet but….
And in the words of the late great Magdalen Berns, I’d rather be rude than a fucking liar.

I am disgusted that you’d come here, Erin, and mansplain that this criminal should be pandered to in the press and in a women’s prison because it’s respectful. Show some respect yourself, you MRA.

One hundred percent this.

AIstolemylunch · 24/02/2024 17:24

lifeturnsonadime · 24/02/2024 17:11

I seriously can't believe that Erin has chosen this thread to write about how wearing red -lipstick is to resemble the vulva.

I mean seriously. No woman would write such misogynistic claptrap.

And @TheKeatingFive incel -

Dictionary definition-

incel
/ˈɪnsɛl/
noun

  1. a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active.
  2. "self-identified incels have used the internet to find anonymous support"

And yet has the gall to deny that Autogynophelia is a thing .... mind boggling...

I've never worn red lipstick or lingerie in my life btw and have a healthy sex life. They just can't see what's literally staring then in the face.

And I'm not angry, I feel only pity for people that are so unhappy in their own skin they have to pretend to be something that can never be - a woman or female, and annoyance when they try and appropriate and steal the biological reality of being a woman.

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2024 17:26

Erin394 · 24/02/2024 16:28

You've completely missed the boat in anger. I never said that trans women are female. I said they are women.

Female = Mammalian/Sex
Woman = Human/Gender identity.

You can be a female and feel like a woman, or you can be male and feel like a woman. Being a woman is related to ones internal sense-of-self. It's how we feel about ourselves and unique to all of us. Having ovaries doesn't make you judge and jury over anyones sense-of-self.

And of course you talk of paraphilia's...we're back here again are we? Back to autogynephilia? When trans women go on HRT, their sex drive usually plummets and they tend to become impotent. It makes no sense. If it's sexual, then why we not de-transition when the so called "paraphilic disorder" element disappears?

And don't you like feeling sexy? When women wear lingerie and red lipstick so their lips resemble a vagina, is that not sexual? You don't like feeling desirable? Of course most women do...but if a trans woman does these things, suddenly it's a paraphilia? Maybe it's just us feeling in-tune with our femininity and sense-of-self, the same as it is with most women.

Plus, even when it is sexual and comes up later in life (which it does for some trans women) it's usually merely an outlet because it's the only way they feel able to express their femininity and experience euphoria. Hence when they go on HRT, the so called "paraphilias" disappear.

For most of us, it's not sexual. I hated being a boy from as young as 5 years old. I asked for a dolls house for my 6th birthday and was refused and reprimanded. I knew I wanted to be a girl before I knew anything about sex. I couldn't bear the idea of living as a boy or growing old as a man. I would have rather taken my own live 100 times over. Just as most people would if their gender identity doesn't match their gender expression. Imagine waking up and seeing a man in the mirror. In that scenario would it be realistic for me to just tell you to "get on with your life, that's your body now"? Or would you try to do something about it?

Ironic that you say we have mental illnesses, yet when we transition, the mental illnesses rates among us seem to plummet. Seems we're not fixing the "illness" in "the right way" in your view? Even the pseudo-scientist Ray Blanchard who peddled the same paraphilia argument last century (and was humbled some decades ago) came to the conclusion that transitioning was the best solution. But "I've got a degree in molecular biology" over here knows what's best for us apparently!

The thing is, we do just want to get on with our lives. We don't ask for much. Mostly just basic HRT and gender identity clinic access so we can transition and become productive members of society with decent well-being, for people to treat us with dignity as human beings like everyone else, and for people to not thrust being trans front and centre when anything bad happens.

Case in point - here we have a psychopath and a murderer, but the priority on mumsnet is that the criminal is trans? That's what angers people about this person? Seriously? Maybe reflect on that a bit. It's insane.

No. Transwomen are men.

Gender identity is just waffle. It isn't a thing.

I have no desire to discuss feeling 'sexy' with you thanks, and red lips do not look like a vagina, just for info.

There is nothing female or womanly about men. Humans are dichotomously sexed.

Gender is invented and arbitrary social stereotypes, it bears no relation to your sex. Many boys enjoy playing with dolls houses, only sexist and/or homophobic people would reprimand a child for playing with any kind of toy based on what sex said child was.

This thread is not actually about you and your feelings, hard as it is for you to understand.

It's about women - how we feel. We want our fucking stuff back.

OP posts:
WomaninBoots · 24/02/2024 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2024 17:30

TheKeatingFive · 24/02/2024 17:14

But I've been up a ladder pruning trees all afternoon, in jeans, hard hat and steel capped boots, and left it too late.

Shame on you sister. How will anyone know you have a vagina if you carry on like that?

I think you're supposed to paint it red or something. Like baboons.

OP posts:
Sleepybumble · 24/02/2024 17:32

Erin394 · 24/02/2024 16:28

You've completely missed the boat in anger. I never said that trans women are female. I said they are women.

Female = Mammalian/Sex
Woman = Human/Gender identity.

You can be a female and feel like a woman, or you can be male and feel like a woman. Being a woman is related to ones internal sense-of-self. It's how we feel about ourselves and unique to all of us. Having ovaries doesn't make you judge and jury over anyones sense-of-self.

And of course you talk of paraphilia's...we're back here again are we? Back to autogynephilia? When trans women go on HRT, their sex drive usually plummets and they tend to become impotent. It makes no sense. If it's sexual, then why we not de-transition when the so called "paraphilic disorder" element disappears?

And don't you like feeling sexy? When women wear lingerie and red lipstick so their lips resemble a vagina, is that not sexual? You don't like feeling desirable? Of course most women do...but if a trans woman does these things, suddenly it's a paraphilia? Maybe it's just us feeling in-tune with our femininity and sense-of-self, the same as it is with most women.

Plus, even when it is sexual and comes up later in life (which it does for some trans women) it's usually merely an outlet because it's the only way they feel able to express their femininity and experience euphoria. Hence when they go on HRT, the so called "paraphilias" disappear.

For most of us, it's not sexual. I hated being a boy from as young as 5 years old. I asked for a dolls house for my 6th birthday and was refused and reprimanded. I knew I wanted to be a girl before I knew anything about sex. I couldn't bear the idea of living as a boy or growing old as a man. I would have rather taken my own live 100 times over. Just as most people would if their gender identity doesn't match their gender expression. Imagine waking up and seeing a man in the mirror. In that scenario would it be realistic for me to just tell you to "get on with your life, that's your body now"? Or would you try to do something about it?

Ironic that you say we have mental illnesses, yet when we transition, the mental illnesses rates among us seem to plummet. Seems we're not fixing the "illness" in "the right way" in your view? Even the pseudo-scientist Ray Blanchard who peddled the same paraphilia argument last century (and was humbled some decades ago) came to the conclusion that transitioning was the best solution. But "I've got a degree in molecular biology" over here knows what's best for us apparently!

The thing is, we do just want to get on with our lives. We don't ask for much. Mostly just basic HRT and gender identity clinic access so we can transition and become productive members of society with decent well-being, for people to treat us with dignity as human beings like everyone else, and for people to not thrust being trans front and centre when anything bad happens.

Case in point - here we have a psychopath and a murderer, but the priority on mumsnet is that the criminal is trans? That's what angers people about this person? Seriously? Maybe reflect on that a bit. It's insane.

Thankyou for speaking up. This can be such a hostile anti trans place x

AIstolemylunch · 24/02/2024 17:33

And I spent many happy hours playing with my sons and the dolls house we bought them, because we're not homophonic dicks and we think gender stereotypes are nonsense. The shitty parenting Erin experienced is awful, but is a psychological issue, not evidence that 'he should have been born a girl' No, you should have been born to better parents, but you weren't, so you cope in whatever way helps, but you don't get to call yourself a girl or woman. We are not a security blanket for damaged men.

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2024 17:35

AIstolemylunch · 24/02/2024 17:33

And I spent many happy hours playing with my sons and the dolls house we bought them, because we're not homophonic dicks and we think gender stereotypes are nonsense. The shitty parenting Erin experienced is awful, but is a psychological issue, not evidence that 'he should have been born a girl' No, you should have been born to better parents, but you weren't, so you cope in whatever way helps, but you don't get to call yourself a girl or woman. We are not a security blanket for damaged men.

Yes. The idea that if a child wants to play with dolls it makes the child female is so teeth achingly regressive and insulting it makes me want to paint my arse red and go and jump on cars.

OP posts:
WomaninBoots · 24/02/2024 17:35

ArabellaScott · 24/02/2024 17:35

Yes. The idea that if a child wants to play with dolls it makes the child female is so teeth achingly regressive and insulting it makes me want to paint my arse red and go and jump on cars.

🤣🤣🤣

EasternStandard · 24/02/2024 17:37

I’m enjoying these posts. They sum up how I feel

Just fuck off with this already we want our stuff back

Chocladore · 24/02/2024 17:39

Trans women are men. You can absolutely dress in what you like and wear make up, you’re still a man.

A man carries out an awful crime and is reported as being a woman! It beggars belief!!

Whatkindofworld · 24/02/2024 17:40

Yes I read this story thinking it was so strange for a woman. I didn’t realise it was a man until I saw Mumsnet. So disgusted. I’m sure it’s been said many times but don’t we need pronouns for trans people that does’t include she , her or woman!

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/02/2024 17:49

Thankyou for speaking up.

Thanks for speaking up that women are red lipstick vaginas? Confused

Winter2020 · 24/02/2024 17:49

I respect people's right to dress how they like, to live peacefully how they like, to choose their pronouns etc and I will respect them and their pronouns. But being treated as a man/woman if you are not one is an honorary title. The person can live as a man or a woman/other people can attempt to treat them in their preferred gender but they will never BE a man or a woman if they were not born one.

If you start murdering people in cold blood and that honorary title is rescinded. A woman did not commit this crime.

Winter2020 · 24/02/2024 17:51

If you believe a man becomes a woman at some point because he wants to be so you think that this person can become a cat if they want to be one?

They could have fur and a tale grafted on and ask their friends to tickle their bellies and call them Ginger. Their friends could oblige. Doesn't make them a cat does it?