Decision time-final embryo

[Rainlovers]

Feeling very emotional today.
I need to make a decision about what to do with my last frozen embryo, I wouldn’t hesitate with the decision if I was younger, but I’m 46
I started trying to conceive just before my 31st birthday, cue years of miscarriages, emergency ectopic, tube removal, rounds of ivf. Finally conceived Dd (5,5) at age 39. She’s the love of our life and hands down the best thing that’s ever happened to us
We have one frozen embryo from age 39 left. The clinic have called me to come in in four weeks, I need to decide what to do
If I decide not to try with this embryo, I have to decide whether to allow the embryo to be given to others struggling for a child or be given to science, both options make me feel sick to my stomach.
Dh is 46 too.
There’s no gaurantee it would work
What would you do?
If I was 10, even 5 years younger, I wouldn’t give it a second thought

@Babyboomtastic Hi, sorry I didn’t get the last part of your post

I'm 44 and I wouldn't want to have a baby at 46. I have enough energy etc now but realistically my health is only going downhill and you'd need lots of energy and good health to see you through your 50s and 60s.

I wouldn't want to donate it to another couple either. I would always be anxious about whether they'd be treated well or truly happy. You just don't know what the parents would be like.

I wouldn't like to donate it to science, I wouldn't like the thought of them putting it through procedures or running experiments on it.

I think I'd rather have the embryo destroyed as it would draw a line under it all.

@fallono Have you had ivf?

How else do we train new embryologists though? Some of them need to be donated to help that.

Really tough decision OP but I would go for it. My mum's friend had an unexpected baby at 49 and she is a fabulous mum.
All the best to you.

I have a couple of embryos left. I’m still technically young enough to use them (in the sense of, if I used them now and had a success they would be an adult before I hit 56) but I’m pretty certain DH and I are one and done. We hit the jackpot with DD and for many reasons I don’t want to go through all of that again. This means we’ll have to make a difficult choice about our embryos in a few years. I think I could warm to the idea of giving them to another woman/ couple but I don’t think DH ever would so it will be donate to medical science (probably my preference) or just stop freezing them and they will perish. It’s sad because so so much went into getting those embryos but I will get over the sadness. Only you know if you would get over the sadness of not using your Frostie.

I'd have to give it a chance, I couldn't donate personally, but I'm a real softie and wouldn't be able to stop myself imagining a sibling to my other children growing up elsewhere. I know quite a few older parents. One of my son's friends at school had a 70+ year old dad, men can do it! He's still alive in his 90s. I know a woman who had a baby at 52 naturally. Some parents sadly die young when their children are small. I'm mid 60s and could easily cope with an 18 Yr old (got two older sons living with me now who act like it sometimes 😂) but only you can make the decision with what you can live with💐

I haven't been in this situation, but I think I'd go for it in your shoes. You'll always wonder otherwise. I get what you're saying about age, but plenty of people die before their time and leave their kids, it's not a given that you'll die whilst they're young. Good luck with whatever you decide.