WIBU about playdate cancellation?

[trebleclef101]

DD (8) has a playdate arranged for Sunday with a friend, planned a couple of days ago.

She has today received a birthday party invite for the same day and time, middle of the day so no option to do both. Equal friends with birthday child and playdate child. Playdate child is not invited to the birthday.

My DH and I are disagreeing - should DD honour the original plan and keep the playdate, or cancel because a birthday party is a once a year thing that can't be rearranged.

Curious to know what other people think!

Sometimes it is a bit of an "event". My DSD6s best friend from school has a younger brother and sister (age 2&3), so sometimes arranging playdates with her can be a challenge as her mum has to arrange childcare for the other 2 depending on what we're doing. The little girl also goes to her dad's EOWE so trying to get weekends they're both available can be tricky. DSD has regular play dates with other friends but she does get excited when we arrange a playdate with her bestie from school. She would be really disappointed is this was cancelled last minute in favour of another kids party that she wasn't invited to.

This.

All the other responses are a bit bonkers. A playdate can be easily rearranged for a different time/date.

It’s basic bad manners to upgrade to a more enticing subsequent invitation.

Thats not to say it’s not sometimes tempting, but, unless it’s a funeral or emergency, there’s no dressing it up as the correct thing to do and you’d be teaching DD bad form.

Personally I’d decline and say why: your problem will be solved if they offer to invite the play date pal.

With that attitude he won't be a popular parent.

You never ditch an arrangement for a 'better offer'

Of course it’s an event! It’s about the most exciting thing that happens to children that age.

Apart from parties!

Yes but sadly that invitation came after 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I were the play date family I would absolutely not be offended if I had a message like "Child has now been invited to a birthday party on Saturday at X time, any chance we could meet slightly earlier/later for the play date?". Like, they're 8. It's fine for them to have other friends, and want to go to a party rather than the playground. I wouldn't hold it against them as bad manners, that would be OTT and weird. Chill out?

I’d re-arrange the play date unless it was a particularly special one. I’ve got kids coming in and out of houses all the time. I wouldn’t be bothered if someone wanted to shift a play date by a few hours or another day over the weekend.

I think the update about it being a girls only party and the play date being with a boy child is probably relevant as well. They’ll have all be talking and planning the party all week in school so that will be why she wants to go as she’s probably go major fomo.

You do realise you were 2nd choice as someone better dropped out.
So ti cancel the play date would make that child 2nd choice.
Flaky.
Stick with the play date a teach your child how to stick with commitments