WIBU about playdate cancellation?

[trebleclef101]

DD (8) has a playdate arranged for Sunday with a friend, planned a couple of days ago.

She has today received a birthday party invite for the same day and time, middle of the day so no option to do both. Equal friends with birthday child and playdate child. Playdate child is not invited to the birthday.

My DH and I are disagreeing - should DD honour the original plan and keep the playdate, or cancel because a birthday party is a once a year thing that can't be rearranged.

Curious to know what other people think!

Why on earth did your DH tell her that?!?!

Tell her its really important not to ditch a friend just because something better came along.

Ask her how she would feel if her friend ditched her for something better.

Go with the play date.

I would message parent of the playdate and ask could it be moved earlier/later to accommodate the party as you don't want to disappoint birthday child, but that if they can't change time you will stick to the original plan.

I wouldn’t mind if a play date had to be rescheduled really not a big deal, just apologise and say youve accidentally double booked.

It sounds like you want to do the party.

In which case approach the play date mother and make out you had previously accepted the party invite but forgot to put it in your diary so they don't feel pushed aside. Then rearrange for another day and/or time.

I'd message play date Mum and ask if the play date can be shifted a few hours. It wouldn't bother me at all if I was play date Mum.

Honour the play date - especially if the other child hasn’t been invited. Can you imagine if she found out why, she would feel doubly hurt. I think parties should give way more notice.

Well it's fine if they happen to be free on that day, but op's child isn't...

Disgusting that you have to ask how to behave properly.. You should know how to behave and provide a good example to your child.

Agree with this completely

The birthday invitation came too late in the day. Honour the play date.....how would your dd feel if her friend got a better invitation and didn't turn up at the last minute?

No, don't do that. Kids talk and know what happened....

I would leave DH to sort it out then.

It depends on how well you know the playdate parent. I know a lot of the parents well enough that I wouldn't feel awkward saying "we've had a party invite for Saturday morning, any chance of rearranging for Saturday afternoon or Sunday as X is keen to go to both?" or equivalent. And I've received messages like that in the past from parents, including "I know we said Friday, but I'm a bit frazzled this week - could we do next week instead?" Most people don't seem to view a playdate as being a set-in-stone commitment like a party so it's fine to rearrange if there's a good reason.

It’s only a few days notice so should definitely honour the play date. If it were a couple of weeks notice it might e different but this close is just rude.

Omg this would be so funny 🤣

Imagine if you turn it down and play date kid suddenly gets an invite as they’re next on the reserves list 😆

You can see who hasn't bothered to read the thread or even the OP's posts.

Timing of party invitation suggests your child was on a reserve list. Or it’s just a very last minute thing and they would totally be prepared for some people having plans.
of course you should honour play date.
if they really wanted your child at the party they would’ve/should’ve given more notice
no brainer.

I would keep the playdate. It's odd to get a party invite at such short notice. Makes me think that they didn't originally invite you and have had drop outs they're trying to fill?

I think you should honour your original plans. I also think lining an afterthought isn't such a big deal. My kids could easily invite 40-50+ people between double form entry schools, with class mixing, friends in different years and siblings.

Why would it be funny?

Because obviously OP is considering it 🙄

God, you're easily entertained, @Justfinking

It's MN, I'm not on here for intellectual stimulation

This