WIBU about playdate cancellation?

[trebleclef101]

DD (8) has a playdate arranged for Sunday with a friend, planned a couple of days ago.

She has today received a birthday party invite for the same day and time, middle of the day so no option to do both. Equal friends with birthday child and playdate child. Playdate child is not invited to the birthday.

My DH and I are disagreeing - should DD honour the original plan and keep the playdate, or cancel because a birthday party is a once a year thing that can't be rearranged.

Curious to know what other people think!

I'd try to rearrange the playdate.

Even if your DD is on a reserve list, it's pretty sad for Birthday child if hardly anyone turns up for their party.

I invited 18 kids to DSs party with 2 weeks notice, we only ended up with 10 kids, Inc Birthday child, siblings and a sibling who wasnt initially invited.

So really only 7 accepted the invite.

Your DH has suggested a dick move and your DD could lose a friend over that.

The worst thing, I bet DD will say she went to a party

I think it depends on whether dd is invited to many parties.

Even if your DD is on a reserve list, it's pretty sad for Birthday child if hardly anyone turns up for their party.

It's pretty sad for play date friend to have his play date cancelled at the last minute. Does he have many play date invites?

Well, if someone cancelled a playdate with my kid for a playdate with someone else then I'd imagine they would be hurt.

Whereas if I said "x has been invited to a party so we're going to move the playdate to Tuesday" then I don't think they would be hurt at all. As my kid would also want to prioritise a party where possible! Especially if (as the OP says) the party is all girls and the playdate is with a boy, so it's not like the playdate child is the only one left out of the party (I'd feel more awkward if this was the case).

So I'm going with my original view of see if the playdate parent minds moving it. But I appreciate I am in the minority here!

Fair.

Question still stands though - would you/dh/dd be happy for the playdate to be cancelled at short notice because the other child got a better offer?

Keep the play date

Seems like your daughter was an after thought for the party so keep the playdate

Who sends out birthday invites a couple of days before the party? Your child is an after thought here. Please don’t cancel the planned play date-that would be really shitty.

Yes, I’d do this. Just be honest, radical I know!

OMG all this hand wringing over a kid going round to someone’s house to play! When did “play dates” become something akin to an invitation to tea with the King?

I’d just tell the play date family the truth, including perhaps a wry smile at your DD clearly being on the reserve list but acknowledging that she really wants to do the activity that the birthday girl is hosting. In their position I’d be more than happy to rearrange. Even easier now we know that the play date child hasn’t missed out on a party invitation himself as it’s all girls.

When I was a kid we just called round at each other’s houses to play when we felt like it. Went home for tea if not invited to stay. My parents would have pissed themselves at all this etiquette bullshit.

I agree. DH can explain it to her if the playdate family aren't free next weekend. Bit of a weird thing for him to do.

A friend of my nephew did this a while back, play date arranged etc and then he couldn't make it. He randomly brings it up to my nephew... He phrases it as he was invited to the house then uninvited! It's irritating haha.

Stick with the play date, imagine how disappointed the play date child will be. I’ve had it happen to my children being let down last minute and it’s not nice.

4 days notice isn't exactly last minute. And playmate can be moved, different time, different day.

Not every child has parties every year. Its quite sad if parents have organised a party and hardly anyone turns up.

Gosh what a weird post.

how can you not comprehend it’s rude to arrange something with someone and then to cancel last minute for a better offer?

If they cared about people showing up surely they’d send invites earlier?

It’s not last minute cancellation of a wedding acceptance. It’s 3 days ‘ notice that a kid won’t be coming round to play after all.

How would you feel if the situation was reversed?
I would stick to the original plan.
It's rude to cancel because a better offer came along.

Stick to the play date.

Would you be ok with a friend of your ditching you 2 days before an event you'd arranged because they received a better offer?

“Event”! For goodness sake. It’s a kid coming round to play. If your kid is having others round to play so infrequently that each visit is an “event” something is very wrong indeed..

I would see if the playdate time could be slightly adjusted to allow DD to do both,but if not, then I would crack on with the play date. It clearly is a back-up invite.

Honour your original plans. Who sends party invitations out a few days before the event? Makes me think that your DD was only an afterthought because someone else dropped out.

i was using the term to make a comparison.

Basically - you've made plans already, cancelling them because you got a better offer so close to the date is plain rude.