Help with packed lunches

[CantMeatWontEat]

I know it's not a real AIBU, but I am struggling.

DD12 is vegetarian (only in last 9 months) and I am struggling with packed lunches.

I'm divorced. 50/50 split. DC have school meals one day a week. This effectively means I only have to make packed lunches on two days of the week. Please don't suggest more school meals. This is the agreement with XH, daily school meals aren't in my budget, and she would probably just eat chips.

XH gives her hummus and bread whenever he does a packed lunch. So I don't want to repeat that.

She was having "chicken" wraps with Quorn nuggets in the wrap a lot (because she liked them) but became bored.

She doesn't like anything with seeds in (crackers, bread), egg mayo, shortcrust pastry (if I make quiche, the pastry is always left).

She does like crisps, crackers (fairly plain ones), cheese, olives, reasonable range of veg and all manner of sugary junk.

Is funny about bread. Sometimes loves it, sometimes hates it. Not a fan of sandwiches (hence the wraps).

I'm currently mainly doing crackers and bits but worried she will get bored. Sent a hard boiled egg today as a variation on the bits, but it has come home uneaten. Apparently, the last time I sent an egg, someone commented on it so she didn't eat it today because she doesn't want people to think she's "weird".

Now she's upset because she thinks I'm upset she didn't eat her egg.

She has some mental health struggles, and is waiting for an assessment to see what we do next to help her. She gets quite paranoid, so anything that she thinks makes her look different is a big no.

I work full-time and usually cook from scratch. Sometimes we have pizza and she takes leftovers the next day. I really don't feel like I have the time to also be making/baking other types of lunch. Especially as DS is a confirmed carnivore and complains about anything that doesn't have meat in.

Sometimes DD takes a vegetarian sausage roll, but they're expensive and she never finishes them so I'm not convinced she likes them.

I am desperate for more ideas!

I do sometimes pick up falafel if it's on offer.

Have tried leftover pasta in a flask in the past but she complains it doesn't stay hot until lunch.

Does anyone have any easy, affordable suggestions?

Thank you for reading my essay!

Ask her what she wants? At 12 can't she make her own if she tells you what she needs in the shopping?

Your DS's need for meat shouldn't be above her vegetarian requirements, and it's usually cheaper to forgo the meat.

My 22yo takes...

Wraps (usually cheese and ham, obviously no ham for yours!) With salad on the side
Cold pasta with vegetables in a cheesy sauce (fortunately she likes it cold!)
Salad with chicken (quorn for yours?)

Then fruit, a cookie, maybe some crisps.

We have this. I half fill with boiled water for a few minutes whilst I'm reheating pasta. Stays hot 8am- 12.30pm.

What flask do you have? My 2 dcs use the SHO flasks and the food seems to stay hot. You do have to prime the flask with boiling water before adding the food and heat everything until its piping hot.

I have asked her, but it throws her into a panic. Though I have said today that I just want her to have a think about it.

We eat a lot of vegetarian food and I respect DS's preference for meat as much as her decision not to eat it.

It's as much about the time for extra cooking and then also having a lot of something that only one child will eat. Which is an ongoing issue because it's the same whether I cook meat or vegetarian - just a different annoyed child.

(I do actually have a range of main meal recipes that work for everyone, but packed lunches are giving me a headache).

Pasta salad?
little skewers with cheese and fruit on them
veggies with dips
bean salad?
tortilla chips with fruity salsa dip

I have the Thermocafe (?) Thermos flasks. Tbh, even heated up first I find that lunch that leaves the house at 8 am is a bit tepid by 1 pm. Though maybe I should try another brand and have another go.

https://shoreusable.com/collections/food-flasks

These are the ones we have

Cheese savoury (cheese, onion, peppers and any other veg you fancy in mayo) with salad in a wrap/ bap

Cold cheese pasta salad

Cheese and onion roll, veg etc

Falafel, aioli and salad in a wrap

I'd invest in a decent hot food flask. My thermos one keeps food hot until tea time

Do you have a recipe for dip or is that something you would buy readymade?

Pasta salad (pesto, mayo, tomato sauces all work well)

Cous cous salad with roasted veg

Those quorn mini sausages and mini savoury eggs

Pitta bread filled with Fake chicken / falafel / halloumi and salad

Pitta bread and any other dips she likes (guacamole, salsa, tzatziki, red pepper)

Oatcakes and cheese or dips (bit more filling than crackers)

Baguette if she doesn't like normal bread. Mozzarella, olives, slow roast tomatoes etc

Cold pasta salad - pesto maybe?
Hummus and crudités
Crackers and babybel
Leftovers from dinner
Dahl and flatbread
Bagel and soft cheese
Tortillas and salsa with cheese for protein
Veggie spreads and crackers

Roasted veg in a wrap?

Frittata?

Doo you have an air fryer? I ask because we do par-baked rolls/baguettes as a sandwich alternative. It's helpful for DD who can be fussy with bread and they only take 5 minutes in the air fryer.

Turn that into cheese sandwiches or whatever your preferred veggie option is?

'leftover' bakes.
mix whatever you have left from dinner with egg and bake in muffin tins.
my teens like those and they are always different.

If she likes quorn you can get various 'ham' slices which taste ok if in a wrap with salad. Or a cold quorn sausage cooked the night before goes nice in a wrap.

Has she tried tofu? Loads of different kinds but the hard already flavoured ones work well chopped up in a salad as do any beans or pulses. You can get ready cooked pulses in tins that you just rinse.

With the hard boiled egg have you tried slicing it with sliced tomato?

Mini pizzas
Frittata
Pizza wheels ( puff pastry spread with tomato paste, sprinkle over grated cheese roll up and cut into thin slices and cook) you could add ham to it for meat eaters
All the above can be cooked and frozen until required so you could make a large batch with meat and veggie alternatives.
Soup
Pasta with mini sausages or veggie alternatives (I by a tub of mini sausages and keep in the freezer so I only use what I need.

Ready cooked frittata with salad - super easy, just cut into pieces and eat cold

Pasta salad with tuna (if she eats it) or bits of feta, salad

Hot pasta with tomato sauce in flask

ds takes pasta but is happy for it to be cold. He also makes a rice salad and adds in what he fancies so veg, feta, Korean sauce. He sometimes makes flatbread and then fills with halloumi and salad.

Rice salad. Cold rice with spring onion, mayo and chopped peppers stirred through. Add tuna if she is pescatarian. Sounds awful but honestly is yum!

Lots of suggestions here so won't add any more but you need to be pushing her to come up with suggestions and having a bit of responsibility. She could pack her own lunch at that age?

Lots of suggestions already mentioned but the one thing that struck me as the easy option is peanut butter! (On a wrap, bagel, sandwich thin etc)

At 12 she needs to be taking more responsibility about her choices and you need to stop indulging her fussiness. She needs to give you at least a few options and you can also make a few too. I find that with using a flask this always works - if needing it to be hot, boil water and pour it into the flask for 10min and then add food to it.

Veggie samosas or veggie spring rolls from the deli counter.

Tomato, with just salt and pepper, on whatever bread she will eat. I don't think it would work with a wrap though.

Soup.

Cheese triangles with cherry tomatoes. Maybe Dairylea Dunkers.

Cheese on a croissant. Tastes nice even if not heated.

pasta salads? roasted veg with feta and couscous/chickpeas? soups in a thermos? salads with cheese/chickpeas/grains if no meat? Halloumi/falafel wraps?