Help with packed lunches

[CantMeatWontEat]

I know it's not a real AIBU, but I am struggling.

DD12 is vegetarian (only in last 9 months) and I am struggling with packed lunches.

I'm divorced. 50/50 split. DC have school meals one day a week. This effectively means I only have to make packed lunches on two days of the week. Please don't suggest more school meals. This is the agreement with XH, daily school meals aren't in my budget, and she would probably just eat chips.

XH gives her hummus and bread whenever he does a packed lunch. So I don't want to repeat that.

She was having "chicken" wraps with Quorn nuggets in the wrap a lot (because she liked them) but became bored.

She doesn't like anything with seeds in (crackers, bread), egg mayo, shortcrust pastry (if I make quiche, the pastry is always left).

She does like crisps, crackers (fairly plain ones), cheese, olives, reasonable range of veg and all manner of sugary junk.

Is funny about bread. Sometimes loves it, sometimes hates it. Not a fan of sandwiches (hence the wraps).

I'm currently mainly doing crackers and bits but worried she will get bored. Sent a hard boiled egg today as a variation on the bits, but it has come home uneaten. Apparently, the last time I sent an egg, someone commented on it so she didn't eat it today because she doesn't want people to think she's "weird".

Now she's upset because she thinks I'm upset she didn't eat her egg.

She has some mental health struggles, and is waiting for an assessment to see what we do next to help her. She gets quite paranoid, so anything that she thinks makes her look different is a big no.

I work full-time and usually cook from scratch. Sometimes we have pizza and she takes leftovers the next day. I really don't feel like I have the time to also be making/baking other types of lunch. Especially as DS is a confirmed carnivore and complains about anything that doesn't have meat in.

Sometimes DD takes a vegetarian sausage roll, but they're expensive and she never finishes them so I'm not convinced she likes them.

I am desperate for more ideas!

I do sometimes pick up falafel if it's on offer.

Have tried leftover pasta in a flask in the past but she complains it doesn't stay hot until lunch.

Does anyone have any easy, affordable suggestions?

Thank you for reading my essay!

fruity couscous salad with feta, apricots, cranberries, pine nuts

teriyaki noodles with stir fry veg/tofu in a flask

pasta pesto is good cold

cheese and veg tacos

chapattis with chilli paneer

try different types of bread, brioche rolls with cheese and tomato

greek salad, lentil salad

I second others, at twelve she should be making her own lunch

OMG, this is a genius idea! Why didn't I think of that?!? I have an instant pot with an air fryer function. It's quite small, so I tend to use it more when it's just me or for cooking the Quorn nuggets quickly in the morning, but I could try that.

I think it's something she'd quickly tire of if I did it too often, but definitely a good idea to break up the routine.

Also coleslaw with cheddar, very filling and yum

Not all schools allow peanut butter.

DD will only have baguettes. But the rest of us like different types. Sourdough baguette one day, roll one day, ciabatta one day etc etc. Doesn'thave to be a proper sandwich - DS went through a phase of taking a ciabatta/flat bread by itself with bits on the side - some cheese, some olives etc.

A supermarket veggie pizza cooked and eaten cold is always a convenient solution.

Grown up lunchables/ ploughman's so cheese crudités crackers olives celery etc

Pasta /couscous /rice salad

Frittatas (can batch cook in muffin tin) with salad/crudités

Bean salad

Ah good shout, I forgot about that.

I absolutely understand why people are suggesting that she takes more responsibility and makes her own.

However, until I get to the bottom of (or make progress on understanding) her mental health issues, this is not something I'm going to push. She's only in Y7 and the step up from primary has been a real challenge. I am tackling one issue at a time and, at the moment, any additional responsibility would be more or less guaranteed to cause increased anxiety.

She is leaving the house on time more often than not at the moment, which is a big deal, but that needs to be a comfortable normal before I change the morning routine in any way.

Just asking her for ideas has caused a panic. She's really pretty good at hot, main meals, but has a very limited range of foods she will eat for breakfast or cold.

Please believe me when I say that if it were as simple as getting her to make a list of things she'd like for lunch then I wouldn't have to ask Mumsnet for suggestions!

I had cold stir fry today - just veggies and noodles with a shop bought sauce left over from last night. It was delish.

Veggie samosas might work.

The trouble is that a lot of these suggestions (not yours specifically, but everyone's in general) sound quite expensive, but maybe I just have to accept that it's going to cost more to make a lunch she likes.

Could you make your own veggie sausage rolls? Or just cheese and onion ones etc? Pastry is cheap to make and they can be frozen until you're ready to use them?

You haven't asked, but just to toss out there - breakfast is a big deal around here as DS' meds means he often skips lunch. We do waffles a surprising amount - very little added sugar and they're actually very easy to make.

Also banana pancakes (also, no added sugar) - takes a bit longer, but still pretty easy.

Eggs, but I think you said she doesn't like eggs?

I make batches of 3 muffins in the air fryer - 2 is a breakfast, one is a snack to go alongside something else like a smoothie (made with oats).

Re lunch - tomato based pasta sauces will stay hotter for longer in a pre-heated flask. Feel free to nuke them aggressively before you put them in!

Edited to remove the pointless bacon sandwich suggestion!

Sorry, me again - I'm just fizzing with ideas apparently!

If you want to do the croissant thing - the frozen ones are very reasonably priced and also cook well in the airfryer. We put them in for 11 minutes.

Does she have to have a variety if she doesn’t mind the same thing? Ie houmous sandwich (can add salad bits if she likes), is fine every day for 4 days imo. Add some snacks/ fruit/ muffin and he will
be fine

I say this with a fussy nearly 4 year old. He’s had a cream sandwich sandwich, with fruit and raw veg every single nursery day for the last 18 months. It’s the only packed lunch he will reliably eat. I don’t worry about it tbh. It’s max 5 meals a week (out of 21), and I vary the fruit

We have an 11 year old on packed lunches who isn’t keen on sandwiches everyday. Second the food flask idea, I make a batch of homemade soup, leek and potato is a favourite, and that does 3 days with a bagel on the side. Other treat lunch is pasta, baby corn and chopped up hot dogs or sausages in the food flask, easy to substitute with a veggie alternative. And the deal is if she wants to stay on packed lunches she is responsible for making a tray bake at the weekend so she has a flapjack or similar for lunch every day. We’re not allowed pesto or humous at school so that’s out fir us.

What about making crustless quiche for her to have with a bit of salad? Super easy, put whatever veggies she likes into a shallow dish and pour on beaten eggs and bake. My kids devour that. Make one on a Sunday and it would do as many days as you needed! Can freeze too.

If she struggles in the morning she can make herself up a cheese and salad wrap the night before surely. Sounds like you're making this way harder than it needs to be.

Mexican black bean tacos? Black beans, chopped spring onion, pepper, tomato, dressed with coriander and lime juice. Keeps for a couple of days.
Cold Spanish omelette?
Rice and bean salad?
I think you can also get those prepacked lentil/bean/quinoa salads if you’re in a rush (although more expensive).

Savoury muffins (cheese and courgette etc) make a batch and they freeze well

Homemade veggie sausage rolls - just wrap sausages in puff pastry. Also freeze well uncooked

Thank you. We actually have waffles and pancakes a lot, but generally at the weekend.

Ha ha, no, she does like eggs, but someone commented on her hard boiled egg so she didn't eat it because she thought people would think she was weird. Argh!

I think I tried once and it wasn't a success, but it's been a while so I will try crustless quiche again.

Hi OP - I have neurodiverse children so understand the need for lunch to be as low stress as possible.

I try to have leftovers a couple of times a week that can double as a lunch. Would she like a cold pasta? Pesto, or cheese?

Also, we use wraps as pizza bases with just some passata, pesto, spinach and cheese on top.

I make coleslaw (just grated carrot, finely diced red onion and mayo) and they love that - I make a big tub and it lasts a few days in the fridge.

Couscous salad with veggies in as well, again a big tub and it keeps for a couple of days so I can just portion it out.

If you check out Little Lou Cooks on instagram; she does a lot about batch baking or cooking things then freezing them. Her cheese scones have been really popular, I just have to take them out the freezer the night before and they defrost overnight. It also means there is a variety of things in the freezer so they don't get too bored as I can rotate lunches.

Something that worked for us was to look at the Tesco app together and they pointed out things they liked the look of - it got the conversation started. Might help her if she's feeling overwhelmed at thinking of things she'd like.

For what it's worth, I know you said you didn't want to repeat what her Dad is giving her...but maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Especially if she is struggling with her mental health (and it'll take the pressure off you a bit!)

I'm vegetarian and take my own food in when in the office. I tend to eat things like:
Cheese and salad sandwiches or wraps
Pasta salad
Couscous salad
Mini pizzas that I made using English muffins cut in half for the bases (or french bread)
Cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches
I also tend to take fruit and a snack of some sort (crisps, graze bar etc)

My son would also tend to have things like veg sausage rolls or cheese and onion rolls, and Quorn picnic eggs, little cubes of cheese, yogurts etc but he's grown up now so I don't have to feed him any more...

@MumMumMumMumMumMumMum I think this is bang on. Kids in secondary school should be able to construct their own lunches. Of course buy the stuff she wants. When I was 14 my mum just gave me a budget to buy my own food to eat / cook for the whole week. She bought her own food only. When it's gone, it's gone, lol. Bit extreme at 12 but sometimes less is more when guiding teens around food.