Help with packed lunches

[CantMeatWontEat]

I know it's not a real AIBU, but I am struggling.

DD12 is vegetarian (only in last 9 months) and I am struggling with packed lunches.

I'm divorced. 50/50 split. DC have school meals one day a week. This effectively means I only have to make packed lunches on two days of the week. Please don't suggest more school meals. This is the agreement with XH, daily school meals aren't in my budget, and she would probably just eat chips.

XH gives her hummus and bread whenever he does a packed lunch. So I don't want to repeat that.

She was having "chicken" wraps with Quorn nuggets in the wrap a lot (because she liked them) but became bored.

She doesn't like anything with seeds in (crackers, bread), egg mayo, shortcrust pastry (if I make quiche, the pastry is always left).

She does like crisps, crackers (fairly plain ones), cheese, olives, reasonable range of veg and all manner of sugary junk.

Is funny about bread. Sometimes loves it, sometimes hates it. Not a fan of sandwiches (hence the wraps).

I'm currently mainly doing crackers and bits but worried she will get bored. Sent a hard boiled egg today as a variation on the bits, but it has come home uneaten. Apparently, the last time I sent an egg, someone commented on it so she didn't eat it today because she doesn't want people to think she's "weird".

Now she's upset because she thinks I'm upset she didn't eat her egg.

She has some mental health struggles, and is waiting for an assessment to see what we do next to help her. She gets quite paranoid, so anything that she thinks makes her look different is a big no.

I work full-time and usually cook from scratch. Sometimes we have pizza and she takes leftovers the next day. I really don't feel like I have the time to also be making/baking other types of lunch. Especially as DS is a confirmed carnivore and complains about anything that doesn't have meat in.

Sometimes DD takes a vegetarian sausage roll, but they're expensive and she never finishes them so I'm not convinced she likes them.

I am desperate for more ideas!

I do sometimes pick up falafel if it's on offer.

Have tried leftover pasta in a flask in the past but she complains it doesn't stay hot until lunch.

Does anyone have any easy, affordable suggestions?

Thank you for reading my essay!

Quorn Swedish meatballs
Quorn scotch eggs
Will she eat sushi?
Rice with peas and marinated tofu ( cauldron so nice prepared marinated tofu pieces)

I do DS7 light pesto pasta with a little grated Parmesan, works well cold.

Burritos. Also handy as you can just load with what they like so if one likes beans and one likes chicken and both like rice and one likes salsa the other sour cream you (or they) can just build it suit.

Batch cooking and the freezer are your friends here.
Lots of tasty veggie stuff keeps well in the fridge - a jar of pesto lasts for ages, and is really versatile. With pasta on its own added to tomato sauce, soups etc. good on chicken..check packaging when buying things like veggie sausages and samosa and freeze in portions, just defrost what you need.
We often get jars of red pepper paste/sauce - delish on its own, good as a dip, in a wrap with cheese, added to cooked food to add depth and sweetness.
A simple packed lunch for a vegetarian shouldn't be more expensive than a meat one.

i make alot of muffins, usually mini but can be any size and often savoury - cheese and veg eg peas, corn, carrot, broccoli, zucchini, peppers, olives - I have so much fun trying different combinations haha also add in different spices/ herbs etc - curry powder/ coriander/garlic etc.
and vary types of flour - plain, wholewheat, cornmeal (so it’s more like an cornbread muffin) made mini pumpkin muffins recently and they were so good! (But sweet not savoury btw).

Savoury muffins are an easy winner in our house. There's loads of recipes online for them if she fancies them. They can be frozen too so cuts down on prep.

Personally I'd avoid rice that's going to spend the morning getting sweaty in her backpack because it's very easy to get food poisoning from it.

Good luck, as a ND parent of a ND child I know how hard these things can be.

I’d second her taking responsibility for her lunches. Also, maybe take her to the supermarket to choose what she likes and/or online delivery. Spend time choosing what she likes.
My dds made their own lunches the night before from the age of 8/9. We wanted them to have school lunches, but hated them, the compromise was that they made their lunch the night before as we both work ft.

My teen dc just take a wrap or sandwich everyday and couple bits of fruit. cheap and cheerful

My dd is going though a picky stage and when it’s really bad I just send a random lunch. Like a create your own buffet of what’s in the fridge.

So a little tub of cucumber, a tub of cherry tomatoes, cheese grated or chopped sometimes A triangle, lettuce, then some strawberries or grapes with a hand full of sausage rolls(veggie for you) then and a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar. Surprising the crisps and chocolate bar are uneaten on those days where as a pre made wrap day the junks eaten.

We got some flasks on temu (shoot me) and they seem to be warm enough come lunch but I fill them with boiling water before putting the food in. So far we have done masala noodles and basic pasta in a basic pasta sauce.

Also send in cold cold pasta with grated cheese and potato salad but I don’t use the flasks for that I use a normal tub and pack two ice packs so one under and one on top in a thermal type lunch box.

but honestly there is nothing wrong with a boring same old lunch. My Oldest just had two cheese wraps a bag of crisps and something snack wise so a chocolate bar or cookies, that’s all he wants even when asked.

Second the thermos suggestions. Worth investing in a decent one with a wide neck and pouring boiling water in for a few mins and putting the lid on whilst you chuck stuff in the microwave. I tend to batch cook and then freeze the contents for lunch in individual portions in little freezer bags.
-Macaroni cheese
-Curry and rice
-Golden veg rice (cheap microwaveable packet)
-Baked beans (can pop in toast and/or grated cheese
-Bean stew and cous cous
-Paella

ill often make too much dinner so that I can keep some aside for packed lunch next day

I give my DD13 pesto pasta. I cook a batch and then microwave it in the morning. I think pesto pasta survives cooling down but the thermos keeps it pretty warm.

We use Stanley flasks. They are expensive but the food is still piping hot at lunch.

I heat a packet of flavoured rice in the morning and tip it into the preheated flask. My kids love it.

I also air fry garlic bread slices and put those in the packed lunch with a pot of salad and one of fruit.

Thank you so much for all the suggestions so far.

We had macaroni cheese last night, so we're going to try leftovers in a flask for tomorrow. Depending on feedback on temperature and whether it's something she'd be happy with regularly, I might buy one of the other flasks recommended.

I think getting her to help make some of the other ideas like muffins, crustless quiche, and homemade veggie sausage rolls is also a good idea. That way she can be involved with prep at the weekend when we're not under pressure.

I am totally in favour of independence in DC. DS was a very competent cook at the same age. But DD is a different child, with a different personality, different challenges and different needs. I think I'm quite imaginative when it comes to food, but have been struggling for ideas (or perhaps was hoping not to have to do more cooking, because I enjoy it but it feels endless sometimes).

I am very happy for all the people who can't relate and think I'm too soft or overthinking things. It is really difficult and distressing to see your child struggle with something that sounds so simple. I'm happy for you that you don't know what that's like.

Any further suggestions will continue to be very gratefully received.

I went Veggy when I was 11, it's been over 20 years now and there's loads of Facebook groups with cheap and easy recipes that might be worth a look.

Left over pasta tossed with some pesto, mayo and chopped veg is so easy and lovely, can grate some cheese in too.

Couscous is super cheap, roast some veg with supper the night before and chuck them in the couscous and with a little seasoning and that's a really cheap lunch.

Veggy sticks/toasted wraps/pitta bread with home made taziki or yogurt dip (loads of easy recipes online)
Aldi does some really lovely and reasonably priced Veggy food now too.

Avocado, mozzarella or Hallumi, salsa or sweet chilli and some cucumber/lettice in a pitta or wrap is a fave of mine too.

Mozzarella balls, cherry tomatoes, pine nuts and some basil
Couscous with lemon, mint, cucumber and feta
Cottage cheese (I used to have the one with pineapple) and a crunchy salad
Cream crackers buttered and sandwiched with a mild cheese (Red Leicester for me) with a salad and olives
Philadelphia mixed with some cucumber and black pepper, with breadsticks
Yoghurts obvs
Bananas (with a little pot of Nutella?!)

I’d invest in some different little pots and containers for salads and couscous etc so it feels sort of trendy for her but also more appealing.

I know I’m a bit odd but used to avoid anything that might make me breath conscious or stink the place out, so my ideas are a bit tame! I would also find a boiled egg weird (sorry OP). Someone brought one in to our staff room once and I had to go out, the smell was too much for me 😂

Could you not Google some ideas for vegetarian lunches together with DD and get her to choose? If she intends to follow a restricted diet (I'm vegan, so that's not a negative to me!) then it's really important that she learns about food in a proactive way as early as possible so getting all her nutrients from her restricted diet becomes second nature. Young vegetarians, if their choice is ethics based, often move on to veganism, and its all the more important then.
If she eats hot food in a flask, would she eat curry, chilli, pasta etc?

@Jook Ha ha, fair enough on the egg being weird! I was a bit worried about smell, but at least it's natural and protein. Anyway, I'll avoid egg for now.

Cream cheese is a good option, she likes that.

Quite a few people have mentioned couscous. She'll eat it with a tagine/stew but I'm not sure about a couscous salad. Texture might be an issue if it's not effectively hidden under a sauce.

I am making a note of everything that might work. Can't comment about every single thing she won't like for texture or some other reason that doesn't make sense to anyone else, because I'd sound really negative!

But even if I only come away with 4-5 things that make it into the regular lunch menu then that will be great.

OP states that her DD has mental health issues and can't cope with making decisions.
DD2 (20) is ND and is currently on a year out from uni (where she is on a prestigious course) due to mental health issues. She can't cope with restaurant menus unless there are only a few items on it.; she wouldn't cope with being left to sort out all her own food. When DH and I go on holiday, I leave meals in the freezer for her to reheat as well as ingredients in the cupboard, fridge and freezer that she can use to make a meal. She has never been a great meat eater and her go-to lunch is couscous with some ground cinnamon, chickpeas, chopped pepper and dried fruit.

DD2 (20) is ND and is currently on a year out from uni (where she is on a prestigious course) due to mental health issues. She can't cope with restaurant menus unless there are only a few items on it so food is an issue for us When DH and I go on holiday, I leave meals in the freezer for her to reheat as well as ingredients in the cupboard, fridge and freezer that she can use to make a meal. She has never been a great meat eater and her go-to lunch is couscous with some ground cinnamon, chickpeas, chopped pepper and dried fruit; she makes several days' worth and might add falafels if there are any in the fridge..

Pasta salad
Couscous
Rice salad
Veggie sausage roll
Quiche

My kids like to take rice cakes with butter.

My eldest likes the same food every day: 3 buttered rice cakes, a small piece of cheese, a jelly pot or peach pot, cucumber, sweetcorn and a handful of crisps.

Bread sticks with a dip?

Would you have the time to make big batches of broccoli tots, savoury muffins, cheese scones etc and defrost overnight?
Also maybe frozen vegetarian (chive etc.) dumplings that can be microwaved or pan fried from frozen?
Halloumi bites?

I have:

Mozerella, pesto and basil wraps

Frittata

A brown rice salad with cubes of feta cheese, sundried tomatos and Mediterranean veg (i use to buy a frozen bag of the veg so just used it when i made this as i don't like aubergine in anything else)

Goats cheese and walnut salad (i had a little pot for the dressing to be seperate) then a slice of a buttered crusty baguette.
You can get quite inventive with salads, adding cous cous, or orzo, cashews, figs ect. I use to just bung in any thing i fancied.

I use to cook veggie frankfurter sausages and eat them cold as a snack like a pepperami 😂😂 but that might be odd for most people.

One easy dip i make for crackers or carrot sticks. Is mashing an avocado with cream cheese. It is really lovely, doubles up as a spread for bagel haha

Also you can eat tofu cold, in a wrap with carrots, rocket and chilli jam goes amazing.

Also grated carrot with rocket and hummus as a wrap or pitta bread filling is yum.

I do have left over pasta alot..i don't mind it cold though. I think of it as a pasta salad.

Potatoe salad is nice to go as a side.

Homemade flapjacks

homemade carrot or banana cake