My husband thinks breastfeeding women should be more classy

[marshmallowburn]

He thinks if you are feeding, do not do it in the centre of a food court , try to go to the edges. Choose your seat around the fringe. Preferably near a potted plant. Choose to be discreet. Do not make a spectacle of yourself ( in Parliament),
In a restaurant, don't sit in the middle.
Women should show more discretion and decorum.

Unless she’s sitting there with no top on shouting “I’m breastfeeding, wanna look” then how a woman feeds her baby and where is no business if anyone’s

I would point out to your DH that the reason some people, like himself, find open breastfeeding so uncomfortable to be around, is because men have sexualised breasts over the centuries and told women to keep them covered. And the reason for that is because men feel they cannot control their own behaviour and physical feelings around naked breasts. Point out a woman breastfeeding didn’t make those rules up, men did and surely in this day and age, men have better education to understand how to control themselves?

See if he feels comfortable with his reasons for wanting women to be discreet when BF. If he sees it as a natural act and not sexual, he shouldn’t have a problem with it and would simply look elsewhere.

It's a stiff sort of strap that goes round your neck then a big fold of material that hangs down and over the baby. The stiff bit at the top means it maintains a gap you can look through to see the baby.

A weird contraption I was offered once and declined. Offered as in a friend was passing on stuff she no longer needed, not as in offered by a stranger mid-feed just to clarify.

So if the perimeter of the food court is occupied, and there is no room near plants, but plenty of room in the less discreet areas then the breastfeeding mother has to let her hungry baby strarve all because of men who can't get their heads out of the gutter?

I don't think so.

That's why women have the right to breastfeed their babies in public, because of the needs of the baby who should ALWAYS come first.

For the baby, it is their survival and anyone who complains is ignorant.

Sometimes nothing is showing!!! Some clothes are such that all you can see is the back of a head.

I think breastfeeding rates are so low that women should just do what they feel they need. So hide if they want to. Wear clothes that keep them covered. Big covers? What ever. Vest tops to make it easy, go for it.

People will get used to it. I am not used to it, when my friends or sisters fed I found it unusual. But honestly, we need to support women, even when we feel uncomfortable.

The younger generations (here) don't seem to know that until quite recently, feeding your baby in public was just not done.

(My DCs are close to 40 and when I BF very few women did it in sight of others.)
Really? My mother and MIL breastfeed 5 babies between them from 1976-1983. They were 64 and 68 when I had my first and breastfed wherever we happened to be. Neither of them, or indeed my dad or FIL ever said anything about it or suggested they found it surprising or new or anything that we were out and about.

I am glad he supported you. Sorry he got the brunt of my views.

Special bonding? Yeah after a few months it really is just feeding. I'm not sure who is gazing lovingly at every feed. It's just your baby eating its meal.

Well I guess he’s entitled to his opinion and I’m sure he’s not alone. Breastfeeding does make some people feel uncomfortable.

I breastfed for around 4 years and tbh I did try to do it relatively discreetly, more for my own comfort than anyone else’s. However, there were times, when I just had to get on with it wherever I happened to be. Babies don’t wait and I certainly wasn’t going to cause mine to scream and get upset by delaying feeding to spoil anyone’s blushes. It’s part of life and the reason why women have breasts.

I was yelling that having your boobs out to be sexy is very different from feeding your child but it all disintegrated into a yelling match fro there.

You are absolutely right.

You wouldn’t let a stranger give you foreplay using their hands but you would let someone give you a smear test - because they’re completely different.

His penis can be a sexual thing but if he’s going to the doctor then he’s not getting off on the doctor checking it.

He’s being obtuse, disingenuous and an absolute twat to pretend that boobs feeding a child are the same as boobs in a sexual way.

Honestly I agree with most of you. That's why I'm shocked. He never said anything like this before. For the pp that asked why I posted, I don't know, but it's not really something to bring up with your friends and family is it?. We will have a big talk about it and I will get him to read this thread. Just a bit down about the whole thing as it is not like him at all. As I say I went out and about for 6 months breastfeeding and he never said a word except to ask if I was comfortable. Super strange.

I never did any of that with 2 DC. I still managed to do it discreetly.

He should keep his beak out. Boobs are for feeding babies ffs. What an unpleasant knob.

I always just got on with it, I never felt the need to hide on the other hand I do think some people make an exhibition of it. I'm thinking of out for a walk on a sunny day, walking along by a local river, very busy, woman walking towards us. no bra, t shirt tucked under her chin and she was naked from neck to navel. She was probably a J cup with milk running out of the breast the baby wasn't feeding from. It honestly wasn't necessary and I've breast fed for a total of about 5 years and I've fed in restaurants/cafes/sitting on a beach and many other places.

Yeah - that's the thing with babies, they're just not classy. Maybe your husband should have a word with them.

Sounds like you're just as judgemental about women wearing low cut shirts, that's probably why he thought it was safe to express his own sexist nonsense

I think he should fuck off

Well, he's a cunt.
Has he been 'got at' by men's rights people? MN posts have shown a few signs of husbands falling prey to the men's rights narrative - asking wives 'What have you done for me?' Worrying about random women's 'body count', or a wife's 'body count' as if it's any of their business. Having an opinion on where women should breastfeed seems like more of the same thing.

He sounds thick as shit.

What does he think women's breasts are for?

Does he do his share of housework and childcare or is he a disney dad who only does the fun stuff and ocassionally take out the bins?

Does he think there are pink jobs and blue jobs? Ie gender roles?

I am really just curious just how "nice" he really is. Is he nice because he gets his own way? How nice is he when you say no?

When he says his friends have seen women feeding their babies in an unclassy way and how upsetting it is for them - is he talking about his gaming mates?

I think you have an escalating problem there.

If they're that classy they wouldn't be in a food court.

You know that kids piss and shit in the same pools that you're finding it gross that a bit of milk might leak?

I hope he asks to be hidden in the corners when eating out. Has he thought about draping a blanket over his head in a restaurant? I know it's not ideal but I don't like watching men eat, I suppose he could always sit in the toilet?

metal circle with fabric hanging down

I had to google this. Really discreet and 'classy'. Not making spectacle of breastfeeding in public at all

https://www.johnlewis.com/bellamoon-breastfeeding-privacy-cover/sweet-and-wild/p111201891