My husband thinks breastfeeding women should be more classy

[marshmallowburn]

He thinks if you are feeding, do not do it in the centre of a food court , try to go to the edges. Choose your seat around the fringe. Preferably near a potted plant. Choose to be discreet. Do not make a spectacle of yourself ( in Parliament),
In a restaurant, don't sit in the middle.
Women should show more discretion and decorum.

I think covering up is definitely required. Your husband should put a paper bag on his head anytime he's in public, just in case he happens to spot a sneaky boob.

I know its an incredibly hard concept for a pea brained caveman to understand but breasts only exist to feed babies. Seeing them in any other way is made up and not their intended purpose. Women are not a sexual object to be beholded at all times. Women are just people living their lives and don't need to hide the most natural, oldest and basic human function on the planet.

Ha! Remind DH he is not FORCED to look at or acknowledge a mother nursing her baby and if he does happens to notice - HE should be "classy" and move his cheeky arse to the "edge" or a corner where he isnt tempted to look!!
How Rude! He sounds like a nosey, entitled pilchard!

If mum is eating - it is just as important as baby eating!! If mum wants to feed baby at said table, she should be able to without anyone looking and judging her - its natural and its beautiful and it damn sure is not the business of any random man who should not even be looking!

Sorry OP, but ask DH why it would bother him if he's not looking or perving on a nursing mum.. he must be looking A LOT for it to bother him enough to make such a ignorant comment about women being "more classy" - Breastfeeding is natures way, not your DH's.

Nosey nosey NOSEY parker!!

Some do! It looks like they are making an aggressive point about their right to do so. I have seen women choose the central point sit down and remove their clothing, looking around to see who is looking, glare and shout about what they are doing.
I agree with Closetheblinds that she can and should be able to happily walk around doing her thing, but I bet that she is not going out of her way to show everyone what she is doing.

Nah ....... didn't happen!

Oh dear, OP, you got one of those husbands leftover from the 1900s. Is it too late to send him back for a more enlightened and educated version? Amazon do free returns.

I kinda have two main issues with public breast feeding

1. are the attention seekers who whip out both breasts/take their top off etc. to feed and do so in order to get attention (this is the tiniest of minorities) but it makes me feel uncomfortable
2. on the flip side, those which cover themselves and the baby whilst feeding (this is because a baby bond with the person feeding them- albeit by boob or bottle, and I think it’s odd to put a cover over the baby whilst they are feeding)

aside from this, breastfeed anywhere, at any table, anywhere.

I used to use two vest tops. The underneath one I pulled down and the over the top one I lifted up. So my son had a little gap to latch and I was still clothed.

The fact that you say 'public' breastfeeding is problematic. Why shouldn't it be public? It's feeding a child, as our bodies were designed to do. People have the option to look away. Absolutely nobody stopping them from doing that if they're so uncomfortable (with something perfectly normal and natural)

As @Chickenkeev says "public breastfeeding" an extremely odd phrase. It's just breastfeeding surely?

Or just "baby needs a feed" let's stop here? Be that bottle, breast or solids.

I have to say, personally at least, I have never ever seen people undressing or whipping out both of their breasts to feed. I've not heard tell of it either.

I was in a cafe the other day where there were a few people breastfeeding. No one made any effort to be discreet and there were boobs popping out here and there. I actually thought - great. How good it is that these women aren't embarrassed or shy at doing a totally normal thing. And I say this as someone happily childfree. Your husband needs to get a grip.

Totally agree abs it seems odd to me that people like @ftp seem to experience it frequently with their "some do" and "they".

Sorry I just don't believe it! That when are sitting there too less shouting at people in the middle of a food court, as describing bed by @ftp!

Have to say, the more I think about this, the more pissed off I get. How on earth are women supposed to be with these attitudes? It's physically demanding, after the demands of pregnancy and birth, all they're doing is naturally feeding baby ( and possibly can't afford the alternative) and they're STILL getting judged.

😂

All right Goldilocks.

You don't want them whipping their tits out, and you don't want them covering up, but if they do it exactly like you, they've got it just right.

Open your mind, your husband might like it.

Wow you're really not making it easy are you.

One up one down doesn't work for women with particularly small or particularly large breasts. It also doesn't work well in the summer because it's too hot. It also doesn't work if you require two hands, one to hold a good latch and one to hold the baby.

So you're basically saying you want mums to be too hot, and put up with a bad latch, just so your delicate sensitivities are indulged.

I hope you don't have a daughter as well.

Men who have given birth and breastfed a baby are welcome to voice their opinion on abortion and breastfeeding. Obviously these are serious matters that should not be left to women to manage by themselves. Who knows what might happen without male commentary?

I have. See my post upthread. The two women sitting opposite us in the cafe were in effect topless. We got the impression they wanted us to move but there were no other seats free and we had ordered and paid for our food so weren't going anywhere.

You think that two women waited until you'd ordered and paid for your food, and took off their tops in the middle of a cafe in a calculated scheme designed to get you to move seats?

I'm going to let you into a secret, it's not all about you. Also, if this did happen, and I'm very much thinking they did not take off their jumpers, tshirts and bras and leave them in a folded pile on the cafe table, you had a choice. I'm curious as to why if it offended you so much, and you didn't want to see it, you didn't move to a seat where you couldn't see their breasts.

You know that old saying about protesting too much?

...... if there was anything another customer was doing in a cafe that you found truly offensive, would you think to yourself, well I've bought and paid for my food, so I'll jolly well sit here and look at it, that will show them?

You wouldn't. You'd just move away from the thing you did not want to see. Like a grown up. Not sit and seethe and find your eyes keep flicking back involuntarily to the boobs, for some strange reason... those indecorous women with their magnetic hypnotic tits.....damn them.

Hamela/Pamela/whatever I've been messaged by someone that the Pamela bit is offensive for some reason, I wanted ShamelaHamala because that's something daft I say in front of the kids instead of swearing, but it was taken, so I've amended and got in a knot. If anyone cares for an explanation.

Keep the aspidistra flying!

Come to think of it, this bloke is a right Comstock ...

Some do! It looks like they are making an aggressive point about their right to do so. I have seen women choose the central point sit down and remove their clothing, looking around to see who is looking, glare and shout about what they are doing.
I agree with Closetheblinds that she can and should be able to happily walk around doing her thing, but I bet that she is not going out of her way to show everyone what she is doing.

I absolutely agree that women have the right to breastfeed wherever and whenever baby needs feeding. However, in my local area there's a small gallery with a small cafe, about the only nice place to go other than grotty greasy spoons. It has a long shared refectory table for 12 in the middle and small individual tables for 2 and 4 round the sides. There's a woman who comes every day, plonks herself in the middle of the refectory table regardless of whether any other places are available, glares around the room, and shouts out she's going to breastfeed her baby and if people don't like it they can leave. She then proceeds to get out both boobs and start feeding.

So far, so good. But if the other tables are full and people come to share the refectory table, she starts accusing them loudly of perving. I have seen people get up and leave because of her. The walls of the cafe are decorated with local artists' work which is for sale and people are encouraged to look and maybe buy, but if anyone does look around the room, she accuses them of perving at her. Does she want us to sit heads down staring at our plates?

This is most unfortunate. This one individual is indulging in performative breastfeeding. There are plenty of other mothers who come in and breastfeed, and no one else either the mothers, staff, or customers have any issues. Now when we go to the gallery - a group of pensioners, mainly all women, occasionally one or two DHs in our group, we tend to peer round the doorway and if she's there, we forgo our treat and just go home and have a cuppa there.

As I said, I will defend any woman's right to breastfeed whenever and wherever, and if you check my other posts, you'll see they're not the goady sort, but please don't say that there aren't a small minority of militant women who make their breastfeeding an uncomfortable issue for other people.

It's not her breastfeeding that's the issue here, it's her odd behaviour! Why is this odd woman singlehandedly responsible for causing bad attitudes towards other women breastfeeding? Why the need to mention this clearly singular one off, who presumably has some kind of issue that is causing this behaviour?

You have to be a special breed of weird to be heaving from seeing a mother feeding her baby.

Being classy is not doing it in a public toilet when the baby needs to eat invariably they cant wait. cover up though you don't need to have you're whole boob out.
Grown men can avert their eyes