My husband thinks breastfeeding women should be more classy

[marshmallowburn]

He thinks if you are feeding, do not do it in the centre of a food court , try to go to the edges. Choose your seat around the fringe. Preferably near a potted plant. Choose to be discreet. Do not make a spectacle of yourself ( in Parliament),
In a restaurant, don't sit in the middle.
Women should show more discretion and decorum.

Has he time travelled from 1924?

I suspect they knew perfectly well. Assuming they did, would that make you unclassy?

I agree. I've never seen a performative "exhibitionist" breastfeeder in my life so I must conclude I'm the performative breastfeeder that they're all looking at. [Waves to op's husband et al]

breastfeeding is natural and about nutrition
Urinating in public view is an unnecessary and provocative choice
This isn’t about anatomy or equipment and you’re comparing two different acts

Of course we would not be staring at their chests. Unfortunately we don't have some sort of selective vision like looking through a slit. If someone is sitting two feet away from you, you tend to see the whole person (above the top of the table) not just a 6 inch view of their face.

Urinating is essential.

I agree that you don’t need to urinate in full public view, but then again neither do you need to breastfeed in full public view.

I’m not saying the two acts are remotely comparable. I am just noting that many of the arguments used on this thread are weak and could be used for many, many things that wouldn’t be acceptable.

Your husband is a blowhard and should be told to stfu.

The thing is, you do have selective vision. You can glance around a room and not stare at people in a prolonged fashion for loads of other reasons, presumably? Man with an obvious and badly placed wig at the next table, glance and carry on with what you're doing. Someone with no teeth? That's right, your gaze keeps travelling and you look at the face of the person you're with, or your panini, and carry on with your day.

Same with tits. You might have someone two feet away from you breastfeeding a baby, but the trick is, not to stare.

Annnnnd I see someone has trotted out that silly, unoriginal, and inaccurate analogy with peeing.

Keep digging that hole!

I agree with all of this! Not an age thing I'm 28 and you summed this up perfectly. Including as you say, I'd never say anything but it's one of those subjects that never gets discussed in real life because everyone's scared to say what they think and actually it's quite refreshing that someone else has the same views as me.

I’ve known many men perform gentlemanly gestures & always seek attention & praise from those actions. I’ve just thought they were insecure in their abilities

I’ve only ever met a a few gentlemen, there actions were kind & considerate and they never sought affirmation

No wonder breastfeeding rates in this country are so low when there are actual women and probably mothers out there with attitudes that are exhibited on this thread.

You compared the two acts directly.

It's illegal to get your adult penis out and piss in public. It's not illegal to feed your baby in public.

Comments like the husband's here are quite harmful to women's mental health. They can cause women to stay at home post birth for fear of being judged in public places for doing something natural like feeding their baby. Women should be encouraged to be out and about with their children if they want, without having the judgements of men like your husband. Your husband needs to be quiet - he sounds immature and somewhat ignorant.

Actually have thought more about this and now am totally convinced putting women and children aside to save the feelings of idiots over something so wholesome is a vile thought.

men be like: ‘Oh there’s Anne summers models on a poster over there, twenty foot tall and in bondage gear. Phroar! let’s have some of that. Hang on, what’s that? a mother feeding her baby? In full sight. Mother put that boob away you filthy bag. Don’t you have any dignity?’

I mean wtf???

Mothers should not have to hide away because men (and women) have prissy feelings and get offended by a nursing baby. Next it’ll be ‘please get out of my site I don’t like watching women eat in public. You’re offending me.’

I have been on beach holidays and even then I haven't actually seen any flashing, flopping or throwing of breasts. Or nipples or much else. Just little fuzzy baby heads(awww) if/when I noticed.

If you're so surrounded by flopping breasts everywhere maybe stop going to strip clubs... for the hot wings of course. 😉

I'm thinking maybe they're more like the pointy Madonna ones, could take your eye out etc. thereby presenting a health and safety risk?

@MrBenschangingroom

I also don't agree with women having their pregnant bellies on show or one night stands. It's okay if you don't agree with me. However the OP's husband has got an opinion and he is being slated for it

Can you really compare having a one night stand or the way someone dresses, to feeding an infant?!
You’re trying to make it seem like this is a harmless difference of opinion, and a matter of taste, but it’s not. It’s so misogynistic, as many posters have already explained to you, and harmful to women and mothers (and babies!!)

Breastfeeding rates are shockingly low in this country. It’s really not helpful that people still believe that feeding a newborn is some kind of deliberately provocative performance or weird lifestyle choice that’s up for any kind of debate (it’s not!) when it’s actually an essential function to sustain life.

The husband’s getting (rightly) slated for suggesting there is a “classy” way to feed a baby. I would suggest that he, and his opinions, are in fact lacking in class. What a fucking loser.

It's mad isn't it? I've never seen anything remotely like what's being described - and I lived in an area that was bfing central.

How did I miss all these boobs on display?

When I bf the kids I got tuts &tsks from women mainly and nippy comments
to be fair my tits had their own post code and were gargantuan when I was bf

I assume you hid behind a plant at the very least 😂

Breasts are not sexual organs. The fluid (milk) that they produce is not a waste fluid. It isn't spraying all over the show, it is going directly into an infants mouth for nutrition.

Getting your sexual organs out in public to pass waste fluid (presumably onto the floor) is inappropriate, unsanitary and unhygienic (presumably you aren't washing your hands afterwards, either). It fucking stinks, as well.

A man pissing on the floor is comparable only to a woman pissing on the floor.

Your devils advocate act is super weak. Try harder.

But then, you could also use those arguments for other natural actions. It's not necessary to eat and drink in public view, for instance, but no-one thinks adults should hide away while doing it. So why should babies?

Just picking out one natural act that should not happen in public does not conceivably provide justification for an argument that every natural act has to be kept private.

A side question here, on the basis of breasts not being sexual...

You are sat in a coffee shop. A woman is nearby breastfeeding and either her other boob is out, or maybe baby has fallen asleep off the nipple and the boob is still out. It doesn't matter beyond the being visible breast and nipple out.

You aren't sat staring at the woman, but she's in your field of vision so you notice her. As breasts are not sexual, is it as acceptable to glance at her nipples as it is her hair, or notice that she's got fabulous shoes on?

What if I was a man? Should I be trying to avert my gaze?

I disagree with plant pot man btw (mostly anyway) but I think claiming that breasts are entirely non sexual has it's own issues.