To think you don’t do this when someone is taking you out for a meal…?

[greedyguts18]

DH took his sister out for dinner to celebrate her birthday at the weekend - it was a nice restaurant so he knew it wouldn’t be cheap but his sister ended up ordering the most expensive food items on the menu & had 8 cocktails at £20 a go!!!

The meal ended up costing hundreds and hundreds of pounds - so much so that I’ve had to bail him out so he could get through the rest of the month.

If someone is treating me to a meal, I always make sure I don’t choose the most expensive thing on the menu - surely this is just basic manners ?!

AIBU? Or was she really grabby to do that ?

Super grabby. Dh and I took an old friend of dh’s plus his wife and late teen son. The wife, who was sitting right next to me told her son seriously to get the most expensive thing on the menu!! I was agog. Who does that?! Super rude. I either get something less expensive than the host’s meal or the same price.

Once went out for a meal with a big group of friends on holiday to quite a posh place so the cocktails were like €30 each.
One friends girlfriend who was quite new to the group kept ordering cocktail after cocktail as each one was not quite to her taste. Then we had to split the bill and all ended up paying for it. Biggest regret I didn’t say something at the time, I’m with the DH sometimes it’s social awkward to say anything

Is “big character” code for a stroppy, boss cowbag?

She sounds greedy. The husband sounds pathetic if he couldn’t say no.

8 cocktails is insane (are you sure it wasn't 4 each?) but I don't see the problem with ordering anything off the menu, either as host or guest. Either way the issue is with your DH for choosing somewhere he can't afford and then being too spineless to use his words with his own sister.

8 cocktails?

Wow, she's hardcore

Your husband should have said no after 3/4

But equally the CF should have offered to pay some too

Option 1
pay for the meal but the other person covers drinks

Option 2
pay for meal but set a amount on the £ for drinks

I would order the same as I would if I was paying myself. Food wise it would likely be what I fancy and not just chosen on the price but your SIL is a serious cf ordering a ton of cocktails. I’d never expect someone else to pay for more than a couple of drinks which would be reasonable refreshments to go with a meal.

Well she's jealous of your family's wealth right?

Only explanation (unless she's also super rich and thinks £180 is nothing)

Do people not just speak to each other? 'Oi, sis, I paid for the first two cocktails. It's your round now'. Or 'OK, if I have the steak?' 'Yes, sure, it's a birthday treat'.

I mean, maybe I'm just an old fuddy duddy who likes a simple life, but that's what I do in these situations. If my partner wants to treat me to a nice meal, he'll say 'have whatever you want'. Then again, he knows I won't just opt for the most expensive champagne on the menu if he does that.

I think my DH would do something like this. He would want to show off to his sister and appear generous and richer than her. So if she was spending a fortune he wouldn’t stop her. Then I would shout at him when I found out how much he spent, and he would probably try to blame her instead of taking responsibility. It’s totally your DH’s fault because he took her there and didn’t set a budget or stop her drinking.

This

Bloody hell! How rude! That would really piss me off.

8 £20 cocktails in a nice place? Honestly, my friends and I are seasoned drinkers and went to a 'nice place' - had one cocktail and we were walking sideways... 'Nice places' make proper cocktails, the kind of cocktails you can't drink more than two! Sounds like you've all been screwed.

It was the bar at the OXO if anyone wants to know :)

@greedyguts18 does sis have form for either taking the piss or is she just normally a heavy drinker?
You're dh really should have known what to expect. If the resto is that nice he really should save it for special nights for you, or be prepared to splurge on dsis' milestone birthdays only. Otherwise local pub. 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't be offering a meal out again
tea and cake at yours next year then

8 cocktails over a dinner?! The sheer volume of liquid would be too much for me! Never mind the sugar.

8 cocktails at that price was definitely unreasonable

Why would you bail him out? He has a mouth, he should have been more assertive with her.

If it was me I'd be messaging SIL to say hope she enjoyed the meal and cocktails as that was going to be the last birthday present and meal from you and DH for the next 5 years, so hope it was worth it.

Must admit up until my late forties I could have polished off 8 cocktails, especially mojitos and still be standing at the end of the evening, and very happy.

You have more money than sense. I'm out

Well just let her know where you fancy going for your birthday meal and let her pay. She can treat you 😜

If someone has offered to take me out for a meal, I assume they've checked the prices beforehand and I wouldn't worry about the cost of the meal I ordered.
But why on earth didn't your husband speak up after a few cocktails, if he wasn't prepared to spend that much?!

Have you seen the receipt? I'd suspect he was a gambler.

I'm impressed if she could drink 8 cocktails and still walk out of the restaurant at the end of the evening!

She probably doesn't remember it after 8 cocktails