To think you don’t do this when someone is taking you out for a meal…?

[greedyguts18]

DH took his sister out for dinner to celebrate her birthday at the weekend - it was a nice restaurant so he knew it wouldn’t be cheap but his sister ended up ordering the most expensive food items on the menu & had 8 cocktails at £20 a go!!!

The meal ended up costing hundreds and hundreds of pounds - so much so that I’ve had to bail him out so he could get through the rest of the month.

If someone is treating me to a meal, I always make sure I don’t choose the most expensive thing on the menu - surely this is just basic manners ?!

AIBU? Or was she really grabby to do that ?

8 cocktails over a meal isn't that much alcohol in most places. I don't drink often but I've definitely had 8+ cocktails over the course of a leisurely 3 course meal and barely been tipsy at the end of it, most cocktails are tiny after all.
1 while deciding what to order, 1 with the starter, 1 while waiting for the mains, 2 with the mains, 1 with dessert and 2+ while chatting after dinner.
What I find incredulous is that there wasn't any conversation along the lines of "shall we order more drinks" "no I think we should call it a night or move somewhere cheaper"

Does everyone really believe all this money was spent on cocktails. £20 cocktails x 8 over dinner and a brother who couldn't say steady on? Wherever this money went, I highly doubt it was on cocktails for his sister.

Did she definitely drink all 8 cocktails (not that I couldn’t mind but I pay my own way 😂) because I can’t be the only one wondering if he drank some but wanted someone else to blame when he ran short of money

Get one of those big bars of chocolate from WH Smith for her next year!

Even in my biggest drinking days, 8 decent cocktails (not the sugary, watered down versions you get in Las Iguanas or wherever) would have had me on the floor.

I remember having 4 x dirty martinis in a bar in Brixton and that was too much (and I was not a lightweight at all in those days)!

im curious about the people who’ve voted YABU.

I voted YABU. Not because I don’t think the sister was a greedy bint to order all those expensive cocktails - I absolutely do. But I also think the OP’s husband has been completely irresponsible here.

He chose an expensive restaurant when his guest ordering more than he’d expected (okay, a LOT more, but still) has actually left him short at the end of the month. As others have said, he couldn’t afford to offer to treat his sister at that restaurant if this has put him at the point of having to borrow money. The only reason I can see to do it is because he wanted to look like Lord Bountiful by saying “my treat” at a nice restaurant.

Well, it’s bitten him on his arse, hasn’t it? Had be offered to pay somewhere less expensive, he could have sucked up the bill being more than he anticipated. But no, he took the risk - and it didn’t pay off.

If you’re going to say “My treat”, be prepared for the other person to believe you. His sister took this to a ridiculous extent, but in my experience, it’s always a bad idea to offer someone something when you don’t really want them to accept.

8 cocktails over a meal isn't that much alcohol in most places.

Cocktails are a mix of spirits, usually 2-3 different ones. So at 2-3 measures of spirit per drink, you're looking at 16-24 units of alcohol. That's over the maximum weekly allowance for women, at the lower end, and over the maximum for men at the upper end.

People saying it's not that much alcohol have a problem.

I could not spend my life with an adult male who is unable to communicate effectively. He didn't feel able to rein her in? His sister? Seriously?

A restaurant that charges £20 for cocktails is going to be really pricey full stop so yes, 8 of them feels ridiculous, but the food and any other alcohol at that restaurant would have been £££ too.

Let’s say it was a long, boozy dinner over 3 hours. That’s 2-3 cocktails per hour which doesn’t seem so bad. I wouldn’t have ordered that many drinks if someone else was picking up the tab but he should have said something!

Extremely bad mannered

You don't get out much do you 🤔

Wow. She appears greedy AND grabby.

And many cocktails contain only 1 shot of alcohol, or are made with liqueurs that have a lower alcohol percentage. I don't drink often, I don't drink excessively, but when I go out for a celebratory meal and cocktails at a nice place I could easily drink several cocktails over 2-3 hours. I only do it once or twice a year so don't know how you could suggest it would be a problem 😂

And nobody needs 8 cocktails at one sitting!

I wouldn't bother/ complain about the food is a special day so why not a special meal?. The issue I see here is the drinks far too many, look like pure greed have that amount of cocktails in a meal.

This- he should have said this in a humorous manner. Why didnt he speak up?

She's taking the piss and he just let her. He shouldn't have.

If someone takes you out for a meal it's the meal and a drink/bottle of wine to share and any drinks after are paid for individually/the person who's treated to dinner buys a round or two.
Your DH was silly to sit by and let her order them all without saying something.
If I bought a cocktail for £20 I'd expect it to sing happy birthday to me as well!

8 bloody cocktails?! He should’ve cut her off, she’s his sister ffs if not family then who.

They’re siblings. They have their own, completely unique communication methods and way of being. If he had fun let it lie. Anything you say will just come between you and him and them. Life is short.

ps I do think yabu for saying you had to bail him out - I find this not shared money when you’re married odd. Because you vow to be like one unit? Just my personal opinion I know

I'm terribly sorry if this is out of line and maybe I'm being overly suspicious but are you absolutely sure your husband is telling the truth here..? Did his sister really down eight 20 quid cocktails..?

If this is really what happened the the sister should hang her head in shame!

Why on earth did you bail him out? He's a grown man he can speak up to his own sister

She was a CF but DH should have set a budget and said if it's more you will have to pay. Or said he would pay for food and 1 drink. Did you not check the menu prices before going?

Some cocktails don't have a lot of alcohol and are mostly sugar, but those don't cost £20 each.

He spent £160 on drinks she would have just peed out. And got a hangover I expect.

Have you see his bank statement for this? Are you sure he didn't go for a lapdance or something?