To think people are more nasty on here?

[happyelmodance]

Than other places online? Maybe because it's anonymous? For example I can post a photo of say a room in my home on here and it will have very few positive comments, and lots of very nasty ones. I post the same photo on a Facebook group and it's a very different response. It's like people are purposely disagreeing with you or looking to be able to tear you down? Don't get me wrong, there are some lovely posters on here but I've found some very spiteful ones too.

Yeah you're not wrong. Or maybe it's people are more honest because it's anonymous, whereas people on Facebook who know you wouldn't want to be brutal like AIBU can be?

I was going to say the same as @GinaLoubie I think because it's anonymous people actually say what they think, not what they'd say in RL.

I just read the bridal shower thread and lots of people saying it's a wanky thing to do. I thought exactly the same, but if a friend asked me what I thought I'd be more tactful in my response in case she was going to announce she was having one (but I'd still think it was wanky)

@GinaLoubie I've found on Facebook groups where I don't know anyone, even if I post anonymously - people are still much nicer than on here if that makes sense.

What do you mean by ‘nasty’, though? And why are you posting pictures of your home? If you’re looking for unbiased advice about decor or something, you’re far more likely to get it in an anonymous forum, compared to somewhere where your commenters are people you know. I assume that’s why people post about potential baby names on here, to get unvarnished opinions from strangers, rather than your family pretending they think Herb is a lovely name for fear of hurting your feelings…?

Yeah but that's still not anonymous

There are way worse places on the Internet, have you never read a Twitter thread?

Noone has ever been actively nasty to me personally, well some people strongly disagree..don't talk about trans folk, gender etc lol. I think most people on here are honest, and that's what we are here for?

I don't know for example someone wanting to be a stay at home mum being called lazy with no ambition, then having debates with working mums. I asked for an opinion on a room I'd painted and was called chavvy and it looked like a council house, just stuff I would never say anon or not.

Facebook is still full of huns.
That’s gr8 babe xoxoxo.

You’re likely to get fleeced on here though.

That should be ‘less likely’ 🙄

Any nasty or ignorant comment often gets shot down in flames by posters later in the thread by much more cutting, funny and wise posters than me. They're worth hanging around for.

There are many, many places on the internet I won't venture, but this isn't one of them.

You’re right. But most of these people will also say they’re neurodiverse so I wouldnt really take anything to heart!

Depends.

On a place like AIBU which is all about asking for honest opinions and debate/discussions are common then I'd expect it to perhaps be a bit more blunt than say a Facebook group intended to be more on the supportive, gentle side.

Some people on here are unnecessarily cruel however they are called out by other posters pretty quickly and comments usually deleted.

Yes there are very mean spirited people on here. Why can’t they just say ‘it’s not my style’? Instead of ‘OP that is disgusting, I would judge anyone who had that type of thing in their home, it’s vile, is there something wrong with you?’.

I'm afraid so mumsnet is not a pleasant place and seems to be getting worse, I think there are a lot of sad, bitter and unhappy people out their just waiting to stick the boot into people who post on here. I also think many users lie a lot about what their lives are like if they were all so fabulous, young looking, rich, sporty, and as high flying as they claimed they wouldn't be on here boasting and bitching all day.

"than other places online" No!

"than some other places online" - yes.

The worst place I was on was a gardening group, which wasn't anonymous. There were threats, legal injunctions, all sorts.

I'm afraid so mumsnet is not a pleasant place Mumsnet is a big place! There are areas of Mumsnet where all is sweetness and light, and support area where people derive a great deal of comfort and support.

If you’re looking for unbiased advice about decor or something, you’re far more likely to get it in an anonymous forum, compared to somewhere where your commenters are people you know. Yes, that's very true. If you want genuine reactions, then MN is fine, if you want endorsement of your choice, then stick with your friends on facebook.

@MereDintofPandiculation how passionate can people be about gardening! Haha!

@ahoyhoyhoy I agree!

This type of thread comes up regularly

Mumsnet is on top of a lot of things and delete posts if they think they are nasty and there are things I can post on Facebook and Twitter that are not allowed on here

it depends what you post and where you post

If you want people to coo over paint shades maybe home improvement/property threads would be the place.

If you want people to fall over each other in envy at a purple bag, then style and beauty.

Do you have any examples of this nastiness , other than your painted walls?

@MereDintofPandiculation I suppose if you go into quieter subforums it can be nicer but on the big forums like chat and AIBU its grim and most people will initially encounter those forums. However even on style and beauty I've seen women ask about things like botox or feeling down about ageing and there will still be some poster who pops up and says how vapid they are being, and that their are people in the local graveyard who would love their wrinkles, talk about being an arsehole!

’Honest’ AKA rude and mean.

I highly doubt that the majority of those ‘honest’ posters would be as ‘honest’ if they weren’t faceless and didn’t have their keyboards to hide behind.

I loathe the ‘I speak as I find’ types, though. <<Shudder>>

Im not sure what you’re after here - if you posted a photo of some decor and asked for your opinions, you’re inviting opinions which will be unfavourable. There is nothing in the world that people are unanimously positive about.

i would just do what I wanted and not post online to invite commentary tbh

Pretty much. People speak what they’re thinking on here, which is a lot harsher than they’ll say in real life or on their own social media page. It is a vicious place, but you don’t have to spend long on here to realise that, and whether or not you could handle the replies you may get. You need a think skin to make certain threads, but at least you’ll get honest answers. And you learn which areas to avoid that may upset you. I personally avoid the name ones because I have a little boy called Sonny which means I’m thick, vile, and couldn’t be bothered to even think of a proper name 🤷🏼‍♀️😂