To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

I think that the media have a lot to answer for. They never ask 'Are you worried...?'. They always ask 'How worried are you?'. It's a subtle difference but it starts from the presumption that we ARE already worried. And everyone has problems with their mental health. Lots have mental health issues - but sometimes it's perfectly normal unhappiness or grief or sadness. Every problem is looked at through a prism of magnified stress and sadness blowing everything out of proportion. I wasn't alive during the last war, but my late grandmother in law had an only child - a son who was a pilot in WW2. Every single one of his close friends (from a small northern town) was killed. Looking at our lives now, i feel incredibly blessed. So - don't watch the news as much. You need to know what's going on, but you don't need to be manipulated into feeling that the whole world is going to hell in a handcraft.

I agree it feels like people (the press) are always looking for a victim to stick the boot into. For example with Meghan Markle and Diane Abbott, even if people had or have legitimate reasons to be critical of them the absolute glee with which they were attacked and vilified by individuals and in the press was 100% because it allowed people to vent their repressed racism against powerful black women.

@surprisehail all very interesting, and I agree about putting the bad energy into the world via the internet. If I get in an internet tussle with anyone now on here, I just close the computer and don't look for a day or two, otherwise their bad vibes are coming on me! Debate yes, but it's beyond that.

I think religious faith would help ,me now, but sadly I have none. My mum does and is so much more serene than me.

I was talking about this with my brother just last week.

I'm 40 and he's 49 and we cant remember a time in our lives where everything felt quite so bleak for society.

The country is divided along so many lines now I've lost track.

Gen Z given up all hope of ever owning property.

Work until you're dead.

Country literally falling to bit around us (NHS, roads, schools, services)

Rivers and oceans full of shit.

The spectre of climate change.

Crime is up.

Hope is down.

I heard the sickness in society described as rabies rather than cancer. It cant be cut out or treated. Its here and its terminal.

Admittedly, it does improve slightly when you step away from social media.

I felt this after lock down , everything and everyone seemed "off". And it's never really gone back to normality. I find relationships all different, people getting far too much info from the Internet and reading into things very deeply, if that even makes sense Like you just have to say one word or one look and all of a sudden you are a toxic person or a narcissist or gaslighing someone. It's good to have information as sometimes it can save you but it's the labeling of everything so deeply. Everything does seem off and different. I probably havnt worded that well 🤣

@BertieBotts thanks for the recommendation, I do sometimes feel a bit hopeless about my children (late teens early twenties) on that front, it seems too late to throw the phone in the bin! I guess it's about encouraging them to think it through and make better decisions...(but so much of their lives is funnelled through that).

A general malaise.

A rise in discontent. Everyone is an expert. People don't want to follow rules. People don't accept responsibility. People are not accountable.

I see it often working with families in schools. I see it through SM.

People are selfish, less and less compromise for the combined good.

@Snippysocks That's a really interesting post, I think you are right that the negative take is always leaned into. There was a post on here the other day asking what good mental health meant to people. It didn't really get a lot of responses and I did wonder why when we are always talking about poor mental health why we don't talk about what makes good mental health more often.

I think that for some people good mental health equates to always feeling happy, being productive and successful in pretty much every aspect of your life and I really don't think that is true and that perhaps unrealistic ideas of how life should be are playing into the general unhappiness people suffer from and then the media play on that.

This, exactly this.

Tyrants in charge everywhere, politicians can't be trusted and people find it funny (Boris Johnson). Trump ever being anywhere near power. Putin. Etc.

Unease. That's a good word for it all. I go about my days putting on a reasonably good front to avoid being part of the problem - I smile at shop assistants, greet people I pass regularly in our town, keep up the Ps and Qs, but often I see people having various meltdowns quite publicly for whatever reason. So I'm a little bit warier, a little bit more on guard, a little less open than I used to be, and that makes me sad.

There's also a very weird paradoxical quality to life these days, mostly due to social media I think. Back in the days of my youth there was a distinct difference between celebrity lifestyle and ordinary (for want if a better word) life. Now we're constantly bombarded by "influencers" living their best lives (allegedly) and if you don't have the full range of Zoflora, well, shame on you.

I don't have terrestrial TV. I do use YouTube and Netflix, so could be considered a hypocrite, but aside from upcycling videos and creative content I watch other things from a bit of an anthropological stand point. And my mind boggles. Stanley Cup collectors? WTAF? Beige Mommy Blogs? Doom porn with a side of Crypto?

Meanwhile in the real world my contemporaries and I are scouring the reduced shelf in Tescos and mourning the demise of Wilkos.

Dark humour is my last line of defence but apparently that can be construed as passive aggressive these days so perhaps I'll start doing interpretive dance instead.

I feel the same, but I do have agoraphobia and anxiety so not the sort of vibes I need near me as it fuels the worries.

People are either ignorant and rude, pushing into me etc and I prefer no one in my area. On technology even when walking a dog so not even looking around at the world plus ignore their kids (busy road that’s 90% of people walking past). A couple or group alone not near others (that would be us from an outside perspective too a childless couple socialising alone and then not one person ever speaks to us), and everyone else is inside alone on screens.

Happy people don't spend as much money as unhappy ones. That's the bottom line for capitalism.

It's subjective, of course, but if you learned to drive in a manual car you won't ever lose that skill - a bit like riding a bike, really. I wouldn't drive a manual through choice, but if necessary I could without a second thought.

I agree with everything else you've written, though.👍🙂

I live in a beautiful, affluent, small town by a river and it's absolutely shocking to see the amount of litter, scum and grime in it. And everyone votes Conservative. I used to spend hours picking litter from the riverpath on occasion but it seems hopeless now, there is so much of it.

People talk about the bad old days of Covid, and of course it was horrible not seeing loved ones and lots of people had a truly awful time and were very lonely. But I genuinely believe that lockdown put us back in touch with nature again. The roads were quiet, peaceful, the weather was pretty good so people enjoyed the simpler things in life and took pleasure from nature and exercise. There was nowhere to go and no pressure to spend money, so people got busy building things, spending time outdoors, gardening, DIY etc. And neighbourhoods seemed friendlier, people had more time to talk - even if it was at a distance - and were kinder to one another. It sort of invoked the Blitz spirit. And the earth itself healed from less pollution. It's a controversial view, but I miss some of that - the slower pace, more family time - even though I hated juggling work and home schooling. I was probably at my most peaceful during this time, with fewer anxieties.

Life has got busy again, people no longer have time to check on neighbours, they've become insular and selfish, but in a totally different way to lockdown.

There are wars everywhere and atrocities and too much technology. And I'm sick to death of this fucking lousy government, too.

Baffled by posters saying we were locked down for years, it's just lunacy, it was a few months, 3 separate times. Yes it was pretty dreadful esp for young people, but let's not exaggerate to this extent.

Depends where you live.

This linked in article is interesting showing some of the signs of a falling empire. The world is shifting

Ok, in the UK. Thank god I didn't live in NZ or somewhere like that but in the UK it was not years.

Agree. And the amount of blame dumped on Covid. Kids out of control, Mh issues , etc. yes there were some people affected but the majority have moved on.

Yeah I feel something is off too, something it’s difficult to put my finger on.
i think Covid messed us up more than we realised at the time. And now it’s over it’s like we don’t talk about it and pretend everything is fine, but we are really not fine!
agree, less socialising, more screens, everything online. I try to resist this but it’s hard (I’m 41).
I had a baby in 2022, felt quite isolated during maternity leave, went back to work last year thinking it would be like ‘before’.
its really not!! My team all wfh part of the time, there is no team ‘feel’ anymore (very sad). I make effort to go into office but it all feels fragmented somehow .

Or Liz Truss!

Human will always want to socialise.

unfortunately I think the was people socialise in the West has changed, with more of it based online.

A high percentage of people meet their partner online.

@newnameoldlife I am sorry you are having a difficult time. This very much described my friends DS. He has always been a quiet type so he relished it at first but became so disconnected as he hardly ever saw a soul working at home with no partner and no office space. His Mum and I talked about how when we were young we would be popping in the pub after work plus just those water cooler chats. He has actually had some therapy and is about to embark on having a couple of months off visiting other countries. She is delighted as we all are. I hope you can improve your situation.

There was a film called The Net with Sandra Bullock whose character only had an online life which was erased and she was trying to prove she existed, made in 1995. The internet was in its infancy then, DH and I were working in tech heavy environments and I was learning programming at that point. I remember that film scaring me not because I’m scared of tech but because of the effect and now some people do have just an online life and not much else.

Also agree totally with you @MaroonMidnight about the loss of simple pleasures, it’s seeing lifestyles online. I’m always bumbling round the local woods visiting the little Shetland pony in a field near my house. The most positive bunch I know overall is my all women hiking group the majority are 40 plus. Many have had awful divorces, deaths, issues with their kids and health. But the yomping through mud, the camaraderie on those walks it’s been brilliant.