To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

Yes, I also worry about the whole media agenda - trying to pit people against each other and people who just blindly believe all the Daily Mail has to say. The constant insults - ‘woke’, ‘boomers’, it goes on. People have forgotten how to co-exist, it’s a constant fight.

There's always been doom and gloom about. I remember when the channel tunnel was being built everyone was worrying about rabies being brought into the country by dogs and foxes. There were newspaper articles about it, same with the threat of nuclear war and building bunkers and what to do in the event of a nuclear attack.

I have lived through a bread shortage, sugar shortage, power cuts, miners strikes, 3 day week back in the 70s when bins didn't get emptied, then there was the worry around Aids and everyone thinking that they would die from it and the scare stories going around

I'm sure that if the internet and 24 hour news channels had been around for all these events people would have been even more worried. The internet and media make everything seem 10 times worse.

In London and the suburbs post covid I've definitely felt an off vibe generally especially in the streets. People can be really off. I've had one woman when I stopped to look at bus times at bus terminal shove past me hard with her rucksack!

A few weeks ago, on my work commute, on a bus first thing in the morning. I'd got on first, had sat down, put my rucksack down and was drinking my coffee. Someone sat in the seat next to me but they had plenty of room. Then she told me my foot had touched her foot or I stepping on it. I didn't think I was but moved my right foot slightly to ensure it didn't touch her foot and apologised if it had done. Then, for the next few minutes she started ranting to me, telling me off, saying I'd been stepping on/touch her foot with my foot and then the next thing said was "you people always do this", with an aggressiveness sidewards look at me. With the emphasis on "you people". She was black. I knew exactly what she was referring to. I'd been answering her back politely up to this point but as soon as she got rude to me, I got ruder back to her, I was still civil but I was defending myself politely and letting her know I didn't like her tone and when she said the "you people" line, I said "don't you dare say that to me, I know exactly what you're implying and that's not what I'm doing" (being racist or a "Karen" like she was trying to imply). Luckily she shut up after that.

Then this weekend. I'd been out for a walk to the nearest town, met a friend for lunch and coffee and browsing shops. I was walking back home and in front of me was a narrow pavement and I saw 2 women, 1 pushing a buggy with a child in it, 1 woman next to her and a young man, the younger man had a Barbie rucksack on. The two women were big women in width. As I approached them, I said "excuse me please", as I had nowhere to pass (it's a busy red route and I didn't have time to cross due to traffic on the other side of the road), I didn't hear a response back, so I just briefly and quickly had to step into the road before traffic approached on the other side to get past them. As I did this I felt a hard shove/push on my shoulders, presumably from the man, and a shout of "Excuse me" loudly at rudely aimed at me from him. I immediately turned back and challenged the man who'd said this and got a tirade of angry abuse from the older woman saying that the man who said this had Tourettes, no apology and was challenging me and seemingly up for an argument which I wasn't up for. I then said I'd said "excuse me to them" and had had to step into the road to get past them as I had nowhere to pass them on the pavement. Again loads of abuse came from the woman, including 'he's got Tourettes, he can't help it, e.g. saying "excuse me" but no apology for the shove, and I did say, if a car had been coming I could've been hit by the car, no answer to that too. I challenged the man, to ask him if he did have Tourettes and he was silent, saying nothing. I decided to just carry on walking and just leave it, a bit shaken up, but I don't think he did have Tourettes and could hear them shouting "excuse me" loudly after me and also shouting abuse to other people walking by. I think they were drunk and just out to cause trouble generally and wanted a ruck with me!

That's not taking into account traffic incidences too when I drive! I really have to count to 10 when I see or hear someone driving badly and it may affect me. 4x4's are worst but then I have one too so can't judge too badly!

I haven't necessarily noticed lots of people on phones/tech whilst in groups but that's because I haven't looked for that. Where I work is a very touristy area, Victoria, and you see lots of people out and about, whether tourists, families, workers etc.

I actually like my 2 days (mandated) in the office when I go in. But my 2 best friends are happy to either never and mostly WFH. They really prefer WFH. I find you get very cocooned if you do WFH and then it can get harder to interact with people on an everyday level, both in an office and out in public.

@loggerheadz We have a school near us and there can be a lot of litter, I used to go out and do a litter pick on bin day, just fill a black bag and leave it to be collected. Then they switched us to wheelie bins (general waste is once a month now) and black bags were no longer to be collected. As we are a two person household we have a smaller wheelie bin. I did ask the council if I could leave my litter pick as usual and they said no as me leaving a bin liner of picked litter would only encourage other people to put out excess rubbish in bin bags and that the bin men wouldn't life the bags anyway, it all has to fit in the wheelie bin. So the litter hasn't been picked for ages and looks awful in the areas where it collects.

I struggle to find places to go now. I have a friend and we regularly went shopping for the day a few times a year - nowhere to go shopping now. We did the odd craft course, they’ve all dwindled or are extremely expensive (I’m not paying £75 for something I can do already). Even lunch has become difficult, last time we went out I paid £11 for the worlds smallest crappiest panini and a tiny coke - just felt ripped off (and hungry), and the cafe we sat in was empty and freezing.

It’s hard even with teenage DD. At her age we went shopping a lot, but we would travel to a few cities to go shopping for the day as well. No point now.

I do agree with you. In terms of technology what I have found in my circles that isn’t helpful are these podcasts about how we are killing ourselves in one way or another. I guess scaremongering since the pandemic in general.
The easy access to these shorts videos which are such a distraction, just flicking through them instead of interacting with others.
The elderly people I know have become just as bad on their phones worried about the next world war and trusting everything they hear from random news channels on youtube. Unable to comprehend that there are lies on the news.
I work in the public sector and a few things are often raised by people:

1. lack of trust in the government - can’t wait until the election but don’t know who to vote for.
2. lack of care post covid - a sense that we survived covid but we are sick every week with some kind of virus. Not addressing the excess deaths. I generally like to smile and help people in my job and have noticed how pleasantly shocked people are when I allow them to express themselves or show them some form of kindness by going out of my way. They seem to expect the worst.

Yeah. And my heart breaks to see swans, geese and ducks swimming in all the shit.

@loggerheadz Awful 😔

I wasn't alive during the last war, but my late grandmother in law had an only child - a son who was a pilot in WW2. Every single one of his close friends (from a small northern town) was killed. Looking at our lives now, i feel incredibly blessed.

I agree @Snippysocks. Imagine your child sick and feverish in bed, with absolutely no one to call on to help them , like no one, and people walking in the streets shouting 'bring out your dead ' during Plague times. I'm pretty sure that was terrible.

Or when you hadn't seen your OH because they'd been away at war for a few years. Only the odd letter and what you read in the newspaper.

Or the only way to feed your family was if your children were working as many, many did in the Victorian era.

That doesn't mean you can't feel bad about things now, of course, but a sense of perspective helps.

I think screens has made us so inward looking and navel gazing. Smaller issues are blown up out of proportion and endlessly rehashed and churned over.

I no longer live in the uk. But when i visit i feel the same. Its unnerving

I'm sorry but I completely disagree with this. I thought that lockdown released a sort of Soma into the air, people became these blissed out zombies and it was very scary. I think that it is the aftermath from that that the OP has percieved, although I and others I know have tried very hard not to let it influence how we feel and behave. Lockdown should not have gone on in 2021, let alone into the winter of it.

I know what you mean, OP. I felt last year was the worst, and it seemed like lots of people were quietly struggling, and a sort of dark listlessness hovering over the year.

I keep noticing things that make me feel ... saner? wiser? ... than a lot of people, which I find disconcerting after most of my life feeling the opposite. It's as if I have lived and learned, after trauma and difficulties in youth that left a legacy in my life to this day (late 30s), and can now find joy in simple things, treasure little happy moments, value people and love. Whilst those who found life easier and always seemed to be miles ahead of me and more capable, are quietly crumbling. Because they didn't face these difficult emotions before covid hit? Maybe. (Sorry, not intending to sound like a twat. I find it disconcerting and unpleasant to witness.)

There's definitely been social fragmentation since covid. ("We're all in it together" stopped applying at some point, as it was simply used to make people compliant. Not to recover in the aftermath.)
eg. on this thread:

@jellew I tend to socialise with my family and don't spend much time with friends but that doesn't mean I'm lonely. Just that my favourite people are my family and I prioritise spending time with them over anyone else.

The poster may be fine, but this behaviour contributes to others being lonely, and to the fragmentation of the social world generally.

OTOH, I've also noticed lots of really pleasant or kind interactions amongst the general public in a way I hadn't before. Just little nuggets of pleasantness that make the world nicer. Perhaps these people are the resistance! Against whatever it is that is happening.

I thought that lockdown released a sort of Soma into the air, people became these blissed out zombies and it was very scary.

What's 'Soma '?

'Blissed out zombies' What does that even mean?

Locksdowns have had a massive impact that we are still feeling. Also I think politicians across the board are the most useless, inept crowd we've had in a long time. Nobody out there to energise or make people feel optimistic about the future. Oh and Brexit.

I think "the pandemic" was a more pivotal moment for most than we realise. That's when the use of technology really took off, along with surveillance capitalism. Not only were people WFH but were closely monitored while doing so - there was an underlying narrative that it was too big a temptation to slack off if you weren't in a workplace so monitoring was necessary to protect employers. I felt that it really highlighted the lack of trust between employers and employees.

The lockdowns, and restrictions, regardless of timespan, frequency, duration etc were a time of constant chopping and changing that impacted daily life to a huge degree.

In January 2022 when my late DP collapsed with a brain bleed, he tested positive for Covid when he was admitted (complete asymptomatic) which meant after his first operation no-one could visit for two weeks. I missed his brief return to consciousness due to this - a second bleed put him in a coma from which he never recovered. Thinking about this makes me so, so angry. So the ongoing effects of all of that didn't end in 2020.

There are so many people out there who suffered similarly and carry that trauma forward. In the wake of party gate and seeing the biggest wealth transfer in human history I'm surprised there hasn't been more unrest. However, only those with nothing left to lose are truly dangerous and of course self-preservation, and preservation of what little one has left is enough motivation to keep us vainly hoping there will be jam tomorrow I suppose.

Well I'd better tackle at least one area of catastrophe today so I'll fend off the maudlin with a quick cuddle with my cat and and rage clean the kitchen I suppose.....

We're bombarded 24/7 by news, real and fake; it can't be good. There was a time when news programmes were broadcast via TV or radio just three times a day; for those who preferred to read, national and international news was available via newspapers (as it still is). Life was slower, people worked, learned, pursued hobbies, and generally got on with just living.

The difference is between being well-informed and thoughtful, or worried, depressed, and discontented.

I’ve just come in from a 45 min walk with dgs, my dog and a dog I’m looking after for a friend. Dgs is 11 months old.
in the 45 mins I had a chat with the 2 vol gardeners who keep our canal walk lovely, a man walking his retriever, a couple walking their westie and a mum with a pram and a cockapoo.
Come up north, people still chat up here.

I don’t think that people are unhappy per se I think that there is a lot of apathy about reverting to precovid lifestyles I for one am much happier and healthier post covid as it gave me the jolt I needed to rethink my work life balance. I don’t work 60 hours a week in an office I don’t commute 2 hours a day and I’ve no interest in going back to that. I think for apt of people covid really demonstrated who you mattered to because more effort was required to stay in touch and as a result people have jettisoned a lot of the casual friendships

I also don’t watch the news anymore and it’s just so much nicer in my little world populated by people who care about me rather than the massive group of ‘friends’ that I had before who were always going out and meeting up etc

The world is changing, and not for the better. A lot (not all) of young people have totally selfish attitudes.

I was on the bus yesterday and a teenager about 16/17 was laid out on the back seat, feet across the seats, and started playing really lout rap music. People were turning around and looking at him but no-one said anything. You just don't, nowadays.

Lots of the threads on here tell the same story. Parents unable to control their children, and people unwilling to take in parcels, and going non contact with friends and family over the most trivial of reasons. In past years, they would have worked out their differences.

There is a lot of emphasis on material possessions. In the past you either saved up for the things you wanted or you went without. Now, people run up debts. Christmas has to involve piles of gifts for the children.

Socializing has largely moved online, which doesn't give the same satisfaction as real life encounters. We are social animals and moving away from our natural selves.

Not everything was a rosy glow in the past, but a lot of it was better than today's society.

Rant over.

I also think people are only looking out for themselves. The sense of community and family is sort of gone.

The older generation, those who lived during the war years and pre-welfare state needed to look out for each other. Because if you didn't then tough shit when you needed help.

Now people are 100% looking out for themselves tough shit to anyone else.
And I think that's been a slow change rather than a covid thing.

Soma is a type of benzodiazepine.

i couldn't disagree more with the pp who suggested it and imo it's simply another way of calling people 'sheeple', which is tedious and insulting. Whilst I do accept that some of the lockdown restrictions were unnecessarily punitive, I have a real issue with the narrative advanced above.

However this has been a gratifyingly non-fighty thread so far, so I'll leave it at that. The pp is entitled to their psrception of the situation as they observed it.

I had a moment like this last week where I went to my local supermarket with DD age 5. We had to park at the back of the car park because it was busy and there were so many cars flying around, going past us at speed. It was scary and like we were invisible.
I say this as someone who commutes into the city every day and works in a big office building, I’m used to being around people and the rat race. But it felt off experiencing it in my local supermarket, I’ve never felt unnerved there before.
I couldn’t decide if it was just me being sensitive that day or not, but I’ve realised I'm having experiences like that more often recently.

YANBU OP.
People are more fearful, divided and desperate. There is less trust in our government and institutions. Energy and hope is flagging.

Brexit, Covid and really awful governance has taken a terrible toll.

It doesn't make me question my faith as I believe that evil does exist and people do bad things because they've given in to evil as opposed to resisting it and refraining from doing bad things. I always try to remain hopeful, but I admit to feeling unnerved by the world now and I lived through the Cold War so none of this is new, it feels much worse than then though. It feels genuinely sinister. Unless it's just down to the increased levels of news and information we receive now. Perhaps things have always been this bad, it's just being revealed more.