To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

Hear hear @TooBigForMyBoots .

I'm in the same place as you regarding my friends.

No I don’t. I’m talking about real problems that children have faced, like abuse. Those are defiantly minor things, but when something major has happened and a child does not have access to help, that’s just heartless, obviously, and putting money into the hs2 was better than putting into children’s services or nhs!!! It really is scary when you see what is really going on!

The nudge theory was successful beyond anyone's dreams during COVID. It's still being used. It was on here that I first became aware of it. The news media isn't independent no matter which newspaper, news channel you read or listened to.

Yes, I totally agree, I’m quite content with my life and focus a lot on those who are immediately around me and I get this sense that a lot of people have remained for the most part in ‘their bubble’ but I really feel like as the ripples grow farther away, the vibe seems to be more and more off. Everything feels like it’s pushing back on us, price of basic human needs, inaccessibility of being able to progress for most, the media and stories that are being pushed are genuinely insane, and why? I don’t know! Focus of what we see has shifted to unimportant or shocking things. No one can do a lot because the cost of living has so many tied in knots with a sense of being defeated. I actually don’t know, it’s off, the vibe is all wrong and I do wonder if it’s a sense of feeling defeated by those in power as we’re so far disconnected from having the ability to change anything?
all of that of course is leaving out the fact that we are seeing unimaginable cruelty happening in the world and children are suffering and everything feels very heavy and frightening on that front.

Ok, but you responded to my post about people (adults) "oversharing" their emotional nonsense and being surprised or "hurt" when the world DGAF, they are two separate topics.

I suspect there’s a lot at play.

covid and lockdowns have caused a lot of this. People are used to socialising on devices. Col means this is also cheaper than going to the pub.

I also see an increased awareness and understanding of neurodiversity. T he use who sit in that category, specifically autistic people (diagnosed and not diagnosed) are realising they no longer need to mask and fit in. They can now avoid people’s they want to or socialise online where there are more rules, without being judged.

Depending on your career, there are different things at play. Some of us have to go in and work face to face all of the time, but it can be exhausting for those who don’t necessarily like people so once home they don’t need to then put their mask on and go back out. Some working from home are still seeking people to interact with in real life but others are happy in their own bubble.

Those of us who have been through divorce and separation and who aren’t working in places where they can meet people are losing opportunities. Not everyone wants to date and meet online. I’m very suspicious of meeting people online and would much rather meet people in person, but my friend group have all retreated into their own bubbles and I no longer have plutonic friends to go out with. I work in a system which is very female orientated so unless I was looking for a female partner my options are limited there as well.

It’s a rocky one. Bring back some of the 80s/90s pre tech for some things but tech is amazing for other things. I guess it’s the same as the issue with plastic. It solved a lot of the world’s problems for a while but created a whole new set.

Just switch the "news" off, you will feel much better, record movies/interesting content to watch at a time of your choosing and ignore the daily TV schedules which is really just cheap content designed to hang ads on.

I would flip this back at you at ask when was the world ever not like this? People had different problems in the past but they still had problems. We just have different problems nowadays. It’s a bit self-indulgent to my mind for of all of us in the 21st century imagining we have it so bad.

Personally, If I don't follow the news to a certain extent I begin to feel dissociated (due to anxiety and depression). I'm retired and don't mix much outside the home. I need some sort of anchor to the outside world, it's just that the outside world is truly crazy and frightening now so it's no sort of anchor.

I'm in my 50s and I've never been so unnerved before. I wondered if it's part of getting older, but even younger people I come into contact with agree that things feel off.

I stopped watching the news and started looking at written media with a jaundiced eye during covid. Learning that this had a name "NUDGE THEORY" crystallised my suspicions.

cookingwithabigail - Well I'm late 50s and I don't feel unnerved. I find as I get older that I worry less about things. What is it that you feel unnerved about?

I think there's a lot going on, but what strikes me most is children and young people are no longer taught to live in society, to interact with others, to respect authority and established ways of doing things.

Everything now has to be 'child centred', as though children are the centre of the universe. Kids don't have to be on time, be properly dressed, be respectful. They're not allowed to fail, and they're praised for simply existing - hard work and talent are not rewarded in the same way. By the time they become young adults, they are just full of anxiety and can't cope with being told 'no' or told that they have failed an exam or assessment. They don't understand why they have to be on time for things, why they shouldn't be given endless opportunities, and so on.

Obviously this is a generalisation based on what I've observed having worked in education for the past three decades. But I think it's part of the problem because we are building a society full of people who don't know how to do anything, don't know how to interact with others, and are constantly told the world is doomed.

I live in a fairly rural area (a small town in Devon) so it's hard to compare. But I've noticed a lot of friends have withdrawn from groups, don't seem to be going out like before and certainly not initiating contact. It was often me being the one to reach out and organise meet ups but this is different. I thought it was maybe an age thing (all hitting 40) but perhaps there's more to it. Also, a lot of married / long term couples (most with kids) have split up this past year or two, ones that I thought were rock solid.

I often chat with a woman who lives on my street, what we have in common is having lived on this street for a long time and have brought our kids up round here so have seen a lot of changes. Like me, she weeds and sweeps outside her house and picks up the endless litter we get from the take aways round here and like me she reports the endless fly tipping. We always used to have a laugh together but last time I spoke to her she started to cry, saying she feels like giving up, that everywhere is in such a state and nothing ever gets any better. She is currently on a waiting list to see a consultant for a health problem and then to see if this means she can get on an actual waiting list for treatment. I think that a lot of people just feel trapped and hopeless these days

Sky "news" isnt something you want as an "anchor" (although it is obviously designed to appear as that) IMO. A lot more people than in previous decades seem to be awake to the dangers of taking MSM content at face value, probably more because it has become so annoying and repetitive,rather than any deep thoughts about state brainwashing etc. , it has "Jumped the Shark" to use the famous phrase (although the show that spawned that phrase didnt actually "jump the shark" as a show. not in the public mind anyway?) SKY news has definitely Jumped the Shark, if you dont watch it for a long time then come back for a few minutes the sight of some little puppet trained in body language techniques moving their hands about very expressively as they try to put over a narrative about something just looks absurd. That is a good way to wean yourself off it actually, dont watch for a while, get used to the good feelings that flow through your body when you switch the TV off and do something productive, then come back and watch with a more critical eye, the absurdity of the fake serious delivery and obvious attempt at selling narratives comes over clearly then you switch off again and reward yourself mentally as you go cold turkey for longer and longer periods.

I agree.

Covid
Trump + Boris
Ukraine
Brexit
CoL
Climate change
Social media
Wealth gap
George Floyd

My DC grumble and moan but I fully believe that a life rooted in nature and the outdoors, in different groups of friends and in community is the path to mental and physical stability - without which we can so easily lose ourselves and each other.

you can try and make me out to be a bat shit crazy as you want, i couldn’t care less. I am just highlighting what I think is relevant to how people feel today, which is the subject of this thread. I am still trying to work out someone else’s response to how it would be so great if there was a housing crash omg, yes that would be so great wouldn’t it!!! Really is there any hope…

Are you having a problem with your keyboard @CrashyTime? Your text changes in posts.

It's the same in my part of Wales I've tried organising things and people I've known for decades have little appetite for it.

Charities that lost volunteers during covid never came back. The PTA at my grandsons school collapsed completely just when we need money more than ever. 10% cut last year another 5% this year.

Good post, people need to get used to others having very different opinions on sometimes very emotive subjects, and having as much right as them to express these opinions, that is a good starting point. The Twitter guy has made a start by rebranding it as "X" (cancel culture is cancelled!)

I moved to a new town a few years back and despite establishing a regular circle of mum friends for play dates and baby groups, none of them are interested in socialising without their children. We all live a 10 minute walk tops from a new bar that’s just opened, I suggested we drop in one evening just for a couple of hours after the little ones are in bed, you would’ve thought I’d suggested dropping an E in Wetherspoons toilet.

I think the whole ‘me and my little family’ culture doesn’t help. Of course babies and toddlers swallow you up a bit but I know so many women who do nothing bar the school run, housework, taking children to clubs and having ‘family weekends’. Fine but when their kids are teenagers and don’t want to know them anymore they’ll have nothing to do, no friends and no life really.

That there's no one competent in government, that public services can be left to rot, that there are at least four powerful dictators with nuclear weapons at the helm in their countries, that a genocide is currently being observed and facilitated by the west, that we're expected to deny biological reality, that children are assaulting and stabbing teachers in school......I could go on. None of these things affect me personally (apart from the NHS), but it's still unnerving watching it going on in the outside world.

Yes, only on here though, it is some sort of Omen I think.