To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

I pay almost half for my electricity in my house in Denmark and no standing charge. The heating (100% renewable district heating) is literally a fraction of gas in the UK and again no standing charge.

I don't know of any significant social problems, do you have an example? Of course people belly ache about the state of x, but there is no societal breakdown. Regular people on average incomes can get decent houses, gp appointments, healthy food, school places etc. even with larger families. The main economic news is that NovoNordisk is getting too significant in the economy, but the government have come up with a plan to make sure it's not a flash in the pan or wharping the economic data. I'm really not sure there are any big economic problems in Denmark and people are really really nice. I think the problem in the UK is the economy and I think (hope) it'll improve very much in the next 5 years 😁

SM can suck up a lot of time without giving any real benefit. Not that I am opposed to it completely, but it is hard to use in moderation, and using a lot is proven to negatively impact mental health.

I don't see any incompatibility between some people going to the leisure centre, or jogging or having a night out, and noticing that there seems to be a malaise or collective depression going on as well. Of course that doesn't mean everyone, people are saying that there's a feeling about which isn't as upbeat and cheerful as at other times, economically and socially. I have lived in shitty houses and had very little, but also looked forward to my Fri and Sat (and Thurs and Sun) nights out, just more of a joie de vivre about it all. Not many people have that right now. I have it more than most, most of my middle-aged friends are quite depressed or anxious IMO, although we do have fun when we get together, and we do have a laugh with each other, it doesn't seem to stick somehow, and I'm one of the more cheerful ones! Times shift, this is a stage, it will pass, but pretending it's not happening doesn't make it, well, not happen.

I think quite a lot of people actually enjoyed the slower pace of life in Lockdown and realised they don't have to be out all the time. There's nothing wrong with choosing a simpler life.

The high street is going to continue to decline as less people are out drinking and the younger generation are healthier than in the past, again opting to stay in and not drink, and again, nothing wrong with that. Shops are also going to be struggling as money is tight for many and more shopping is done online.

As for an 'atmosphere', I do think some people seem angrier now, post Brexit & Covid and in the current wave of widely divisional politics. I can't see that improving, especially with the introduction of AI deep-fakes all over SM. We literally won't know what to believe soon but you can guarantee it won't help ease societal pressures!

It's been a hard few years and the future is not looking bright. That's going to have an effect on the masses.

Yes bliss. I agree. I’m sad people died but…
The quietness. The stillness. The lack of traffic. The increase in wildlife. The bird song. The working from home. The emptier public transport. The less people to deal with. The slower pace of life. The healthier food. The improved mental health.
Yes. Bliss.

Some people had a really good experience of lockdown, and those experiences are just as valid as the experiences of those who struggled.

I was talking about this to DH a few days ago. To go back to the first post, OP I totally get what you are saying.

I will be celebrating the house price crash, it is long overdue and we need a good general economic crash to flush out all the zombie businesses that don`t actually do anything (well under way) and some of the big players, banks etc. need to get punished for their bad bets on commercial property and over-lending on residential. It will be like rain after the heatwave IMO.

I'm 62 and live in the suburbs of London. I travel into the City or west End a couple of times a week. My experience is different. Over the last 6 months I really think London has got its vibe back. After years of COVID related caution and quiet it is buzzy and lively again.

Over the last 6 months I've also spent time in Edinburgh, Birmingham, Belfast, Brighton and Manchester and have felt the same things there. People are out and socialising , bars, cinemas, theatres and restaurants are busy and chatty. I have a very positive feeling that normal life is coming back.

They are not interested in peoples feelings and they should be. Some children go through awful times and deserve access to mental health services. That is a basic human right

The US government doesn’t prosecute shoplifters in many cases either. They have a left wing government so how to you come to the conclusion that it’s the fault of a right wing government because that’s what we currently have in the UK? I hate all governments, personally whether they are left or right. I’ve never seen any difference between them and I speak as someone who was involved in public policy.

Oh right so that makes it all ok. America do it so well what’s the problem…. Shoplifting leads to bigger crimes - fact.

I wasnt talking about childrens mental health services though.

I agree. For the introverts there were benefits so, by extension, the extroverts suffered. I’m moderately social so sometimes I was ok with lockdown and sometimes I bent the rules. My more extroverted friends are back to normal now but the more introverted ones are still coming out less I’ve noticed.

All experiences are personal though and my heart goes out to those who lost loved ones. My family did and it was tough.

You appear to be confused unless you genuinely are, like me, apolitical? I’m so used to seeing everything blamed on the Tories (who are, I agree, shit) but it’s naive to think a left wing government will pull money out of its arse and all will be well with society. Can’t you see that a lot of the problems we’re having are the same across the whole Western world? It’s not a little localised difficulty is it and there are governments of all stripes under whose watch these problems are occurring.

Well what more needs to be said. Margaret Thatcher was given enough stick for taking away children’s milk, this makes her look like Cinderella 😂

Indeed: Denmark, like Norway and Sweden, is moving to the right quickly. In Sweden there is open gang warfare on the streets. Everything may be lovely on the streets of Copenhagen but anyone who has lived in Denmark and the UK will know that Denmark is quite an inward-looking and quietly controlling place to live. The people I've known who've moved there have struggled to make strong connections despite being married to natives. They talk about feeling enormous pressure to conform and finding Danish society very conformist. I have a Danish neighbour, who has tried to move back twice now. She managed about 18 months a couple of years ago but is back again. She says she doesn't fit in there now and it seems dull. She views the UK as a bit bonkers but more accepting.

The feeling of things being off is not helped in Britain with great disparities of wealth. We are not far behind the U.S in wealth inequality and look at what is happening over there. Populist politics Demi-God's being elected or considered as an option as the middle classes and the working classes like here have dwindling power, they don't feel they have an influence on democracy and they are getting poorer so they think the right wing haters are the answer! By 2035 the 200 richest families in Britain will have more wealth than the whole UK GDP, wealth inequality, the demise of the middle classes and aspirations being a bit pointless do tend to have a dramatic impact on the mental health of a nation. The question is what are we going to do about it? Do we want to become like Mumbai or Nigeria or anywhere with such stark inequality! Seemingly other parts of Europe don't have such a bigger issue with this.

Yes, but I was talking about people bleating into phones all day about themselves and their "feelings" and taking "selfies" (thankfully this is starting to look less fashionable now, society always moves on, last decades uber cool always becomes like leg warmers in the 80s, LOL) and other me me me behaviours that have become so widespread and so grating in modern society. Dont you think a lot of the problems with "childrens mental health" is due to being plonked in front of a screen as soon as they could sit up, how can the government be expected to fix that?

I'm not trying to rain on your parade but do you really think a house price crash is coming? The very wealthy are buying up all the assets as they have money to spend, lots of it.

Why are property sales volumes at historical lows in that case? Why would someone with money want to buy into a falling asset (that is not how you make and keep money) or go through the hassle of being a landlord?

They're not buying individual properties necessarily but whole blocks. In Manchester a Chinese buyer has bought two blocks of apartments off plan.

There's another paradox right there - the whole "dribble about ones feelings" which should both be indulged in and simultaneously ignored.

Either opening up about experiences and trauma informs better outcomes and infrastructure to improve overall mental, physical, emotional and economic health is a good thing or it's not.

There is, surely, a middle ground that would be beneficial overall. Finding it seems nigh on impossible though.

Once again I circle back to the unprecedented speed of "progress" facilitated by technology that is swiftly escaping our control. As fast as we grasp one set of "cultural norms", a new expertise or research or opinion turns up leaving us scratching our heads and labelled regressive if we don't buy in immediately.

Quite often it's things we wouldn't have considered a problem if it wasn't presented as such, and often it's driven by political and economic motives.

Capitalism is built on selling us the solutions to problems. If problems seem to be largely solved, a new twist is required to prop up industries based around said problems.

Marketing said solutions is driven by psychological manipulation. Take the current debate about children's access to smartphones and social media. Will that market be cut off? No, there will spring up "safe" platforms and a range of technology designed to reassure parents that their offspring are being protected. The money will continue to flow.

Don't worry, I know I'm an over-thinker with a tendency to catastrophise but I haven't been that wrong about things like this in the past, and I hate it.

A PP mentioned the Sandra Bullock film The Net. I watched that thinking ooh, far- fetched. Later on T2 and Wag the Dog came out.

Person of Interest anyone?

I really don't think we're ready for what's coming down the line. Of course we all want to believe that basic decency will win the day, and we have to strive for that, of course we do, because otherwise..... what is the point of.... us?

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Just because you fail to see how it helps, doesn't mean it isn't helping others. We are not all the same, as this thread shows.

Some people enjoyed Lockdown. Some hated it. When a PP upthread suggested another poster should move from where they're living I rolled my eyes, but then I thought maybe the suggestion came from someone who has the means to just up sticks and move the family somewhere else. That is not the case for most people.

Posters have said that the thread is helping them articulate their thoughts and knowing I'm not alone has helped me.