To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

We don't all feel like Shite, we don't all have agoraphobia, we don't all have social anxiety, as pps have claimed. Alot of exaggeration on this thread based on your own small world view.

I miss laughing.

The kind of spontaneous laughter that would arise at work when someone said/did something accidentally stupid, or the kind or ridiculous humour that can build when a group of collegues or friends have time for spontaneous word play. Nothing hurtful, or rude, or ill-intentioned. The kind of infectious laughter that might have several people in a room or meeting shaking, tears running down their faces, unable to utter a sentance without falling into a fit of giggles.

For me that doesn't really happen on zoom calls teams calls, or endless memes of cats falling off walls.

What a very thoughtful thread you have started @ARichSeamToMine I really appreciate you having the courage to start it because it's something I've been thinking a while but rarely have the courage to mention it to anyone. The change does seem to be contemporaneous with the rise of the mobile device in the UK.

It's really interesting that you raised the point about noticing that some people are leading more healthy lifestyles with diet, etc. It seems like a massive divide is occurring. HG Wells anyone?

Could you change jobs?

I think public behavior has declined post covid - train and buses especially - number of people playing shit loudly with no concern for others in bizarre.

My teens to cope with the annoying noises asked for headphones - which then seem to be strangely additive and the wear them round the house so conversation round us is harder. I've started a course get there by bus at end two others on course catch first bus back - we've started chatting - DS who goes on bus with others he vaguely knows complains outside of classes he speaks to few others these days - but insists his headphones aren't a barrier.

DH phone when out - waiting for food or just out with me has been a source of annoyance before we had kids - though like teens say it sometimes is a conversation starter.

We go out less due to money and post covid encounter more problems with transport buses/trains - strikes services not running costs - or even trying to eat out prebooking or not - which adds to stress and pressure - even heading to cinema it's often better to wait to it's on a streaming service.

I think teens make it harder but also IL are more fussy about what they'll do when over and yes DH and I more older and tired - but despite that still think going out been made harder to enjoy as so much doesn't run to plan and so dam expensive.

We've only a few year left with teens at home and it's been hard last few years to get to bonfire displays so we do little things at home - have pets so no big firework - but fountains and sparklers - last time IL were here and they made whole thing a damp squid - endless problems and made sure it was curtailed early - the money I spent felt wasted. Opened my eyes to how negative they've got at least with us - they still go out fair bit with others.

That was to the op who said she missed laughing, why can't you change the things you can and stop worrying about things you can't change etc

I agree. And I've noticed it (also in myself) since COVID. I'm trying to break out of habits, especially overuse of my phone.

I think the bloody pandemic ruined everything 😔

Yup but you'll get so many people (mainly as you say parents and the over 40s) who say home working is the best thing ever (for them) and they'll never return to the office. They'd all rather quit than go back to an office. But i imagine when their kids are 20 in their first jobs they'll be sad when they see them stuck sitting on their bed all day working with minimal human contact.
So many people on here on home working threads in the past have said that it's ridiculous to think anyone would/ should find friends at work. They should all get out and find hobbies so they don't need friends from work. Apparently no one on here seems to have ever made a good friend from work. It's weird. Obviously work shouldn't make up your entire friendship group. But it's (or used to be) part of growing up and meeting people from different walks of life. I think being around adults of different ages and stages of life helps with growing up. It certainly helped get me out of that annoying selfish teenage mindset. And yes sometimes you'll make friends with some of the people at work.
I got married recently. I had 4 people there from jobs I've had over the past 20 odd years. None of whom I would ever have met unless it was at work. One of them I met at 18 in my first ever job. One is in her 80s now. There was also friends from school, from uni and from hobbies. But I still value my friends from work. Especially how nice it was back then to pop to the pub after work if it was a bad day and we could complain together!

I had to kill an hour in a part of the city I don’t usually go late afternoon yesterday and was struck by the pictures in estate agents windows. Some beautiful houses, but in the (suburban) high street hardly any of the shops were open at 5pm. Closing time seemed to be about 3pm. I think it’s to do with so much moving online - weather shopping/work/dating/kids’ entertainment. Added to all the global things there are to be worried about…

People are depressed, divided, and skint.

We went on an extended trip last year (piggy backing my husbands work trip) and it was a huge eye opener, comparing London to where we were.

I feel very unsafe after dark, everywhere is filthy, and it does remind me of the early 90s. If my mom wasn’t going through chemo right now, we would be looking to relocate abroad.

im hoping the pendulum will swing the other way soon and the heavy fog relents.

I find information overload from phones doesn’t help, but also, we aren’t being inundated with anything factual, a lot of the time it’s falsehoods to misdirect you from what is actually happening. It’s pretty depressing to know governments are flat out tearing down communities for their own financial benefit.

Dwappy, most young people I know are given the option of flexible working, home or in the office - they love it

I think what I’m saying is people have either been on one side of the other. Brexit. Covid. Lockdowns. Vaccines. So much to disagree on. So much anger and disparity x

I cant read all the replies but read a few and agree with your post. Im a positive person (as are my friends and family) but I do agree that the world does feel abit off. I think its the constant negative big events we’ve had over the last few years - Covid, COL crisis, Ukraine and Israel and there never feels like a slow news day. Im sure I remember those.

I think everyone was excited post-Covid for the world opening up but it hasn’t lived up to what we thought it would be.

Yes x

I know what you mean, I have a deep nostalgia for the 1990’s - 2000’s. Old fun ways to spend a Saturday, go out shopping, buy a sparkly top, wear it out clubbing later on. Dancing at a club or a gig, getting obsessed about a band. I don’t know if this is what younger people do anymore, they all seem so obsessed with identity but not in a way that is fun or makes them any happier.
I fully accept that I am getting older and will start looking at the world like this but it seems amplified and the rife ageism directed at anyone over 40 especially women is dividing generations and worryingly aggressive. 20 years ago my DM was still going clubbing, I don’t think clubs would be as welcoming to a woman in her 40’s now. There was no “Karen” shaming back then.
People are very polarised in their views online but don’t seem to have the skills to articulate their arguments in real life and it now seems to resort to aggression or retreating to echo chambers.

threads like this really don't help. Why not celebrate all the good stuff that's out there

@loggerheadz yes it terrifies me, my kids are growing up into that world and I feel helpless to it. Sex doesn't seem to be about intimacy anymore. Girls are being reduced more and more to playthings and men are being corrupted.

What also scares me is how far it will go before breaking point and what reaction will society have. Will there be a huge cultural revolution and will we end up with an extreme conservative society with no free speech. Will we ever get the balance right?

OP you have absolutely described what I have witnessed, but I couldn't really explain it.

Everyone seems down and deflated. COL and Covid lockdowns. Since these my whole life has changed compared to before. I have lost touch with old friends, but also I now don't particularly care about them. It's too much money to go out and do anything.

If I am at home, I keep forgetting I can just "go out" and we're not in lockdown.

I also can't be bothered to be polite to anyone whilst out.

It's very weird, thanks for highlighting this as maybe it'll help to do something consciously.

It’s not war or conflict. The silent generation who lived through world wars were not miserable and unkind. In fact in times of adversity people pulled together. Communities were strong, we all had friends we could turn to. I suppose I have answered the question really, it’s social isolation caused to an over reliance on tech. You only have to see some of the posts on mumsnet to see how ‘off’ some people have got. Total intolerance for other people and other opinions. Scared to death to let anyone in their homes and to engage with others. I am guilty of it too. Christ knows how the younger generation will cope. It’s worrying really

Indeed. It's a total horror show. I still can't believe it's happening.

Sparkyowls, I'm not down or deflated, so it's not everyone

I haven't noticed this since covid. But then, I work in a school, so I'm surrounded by people all day. My social life has suffered since Xmas, but that's because my job leaves little time for anything during term time.

What's changed for us is the cost of everything. Going out is a massive outlay, when all the bills have gone up.

high street hardly any of the shops were open at 5pm. Closing time seemed to be about 3pm. I think it’s to do with so much moving online - weather shopping/work/dating/kids’ entertainment.

Six years ago IL were complain they were going into shops asking for kids clothing and being directed to shop on-line. Kids are now in adult sizes last Christmas they have up and just internet shopped - where they used to spend a day shopping they now do cinema trip or pub/meal.

We would regularly do tourist attraction meal out then shops before home. Getting somewhere to eat and transport has been had and stressful post covid - but many areas don't have great shop either.

If I want to take kids shopping for clothes -have to pay £10+ on buses and go to nearby town for few hours - as city center I can walk to really has nothing to look at while nearby town has all major retailers left and has a positive buzz.

I can’t see past my own subjective circumstances to know whether you are right or wrong.

Motherhood, widowhood, Covid and other difficult circumstances have bombed out my life. But I never expected to feel so lonely so young and spend hours a day on my phone. I used to work full time in dry clean dresses and go out about three times a week.
I went out three times last year.