To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

Tech is not the problem. Tech is a lifeline.

the shift in dynamics is because we learned the truth a few years ago. When people had the chance to sacrifice for the greater good, they only did what was forced. The delusion that people would rise to the occasion and help one another has fallen away.

The pandemic exposed the lack of societal connection and inherent selfishness within people.

Interesting thread I’m late 50’s most of my friend are retired they seem to be busy leading their lives socialising, going out and about going away etc. But they are not glued to their screens, most see their phones/ipads/laptops as a means to an end: booking train tickets, looking up the occasional bit of information they definitely don’t sit in restaurants on them. They have also lived through a variety of other wars disasters etc. I was telling my only young friend about the documentary about how to protect yourself in the event of a nuclear war and the leaflet every home was sent in the 70’s she was shocked and asked if we were scared? I don’t remember feeling scared by it we just got with life and of course it never happened. Maybe people of my age and older have a just get on with life it may never happen ethos?

Totally agree… was in the gym last week, strength training, and everyone around me (8+, all male and of all ages) were staring at their screens, hogging equipment and not actually lifting any weights. I found it really odd, sad and actually frightening. What is the point of it? Phone addiction and living in a virtual world is really damaging humans, their interactions and their physical and emotional health. I wanted to say something, actually I wanted to call them out and tell them to break a sweat and put some effort in.

I am currently in Italy, people are talking to one another, laughing, interacting and living their lives. It’s clean, people really seem to care more. I am even more concerned about the UK than ever before.

Agree 100% with all this. Excellent post.

There's a woman literally a few posts above you saying Austria is awful. I don't think Italy is some bastion of loveliness where everyone magically chats to each other. Are you skiing by any chance? See the post immediately above where the poster talks about everyone chatting to one another on hill walks. I agree that being outdoors is very good for humans in general. As an aside, I've gone to various gyms for 30-35 years and wouldn't have particularly noted them as places you go for a full on chat even long before phones were a thing.

I don’t think the cause is mostly screens / social media / gaming.
IMHO the main factors are:

1. during lockdowns people realised that staying home is also enjoyable and not having plans for a Friday night is not the end of the world. Or that they’d rather spend money on improving their home rather than on new outfits or evenings out.

2. COL. We used to eat out once a week on average, now once a month or even less. We could afford it but the prices are just ludicrous (especially as quality and service have often gone down).

3. Now that every day out has to be booked in advance (even free museum tickets!) we go less.

I think many people across the globe are suffering from low level depression.

I went out on Saturday night with friends - who talked about how AI was going to kill off our jobs...
There does seem to be more threat to worry about, whether it's the climate, what technology is doing to our kids. Have stopped using Twitter though, the mood had changed. Maybe we're feeling pessimistic because there's an economic downturn and we don't know what it will mean for us.

I agree op. I was out last Friday night with friends going to the theatre. The walk back through the town centre was unnerving. It was empty. In the past the town would be heaving on a Friday night, now the only people I saw were food delivery people.

So many boarded up shops in our town, BHS, Woolworths, Debenhams all still empty.

If you go into the town during the day it seems just full of strange people.

I do think that some of the problem is people being constantly on their phones but go back 30 years and everyone on the bus/tube as reading the paper or a book, not really any different to looking at their phone.

I wonder if some of it is online dating. Do young people go out to pubs and clubs to find partners anymore?

Oh and behaviour in schools is appalling. Teachers and staffing being physically assaulted and nothing is done. The child is in the next day and the parents don’t care.
When I started teaching 17 years ago this was unheard of, not a daily occurrence.

I think yes teens adults and kids being on screens as opposed to being out and about or learning new skills or reading but also in the last few years I feel there’s also a lot of faux boundary shit being pedalled- it is your right to get what you want and when you want it, apparently, nobody (and I do this) has patience (this could be screens too) to wait for anything and they’re quicker to jump when something goes wrong.

Look at mn and the quickness to go nc because someone made a mistake! Look at people cursing a stranger because they have a different opinion!

Very sad segment today on radio saying a fifth of us drivers get shouted at daily. Something goes wrong and bam! I realised lately I say sorry less when I hit off someone, I smile at strangers less, say hi less etc. I’ve pulled myself out of it because in the end it not only drags people around you down, but yourself too! So now I’m back to thank yous, sorries etc more and it definitely improves things!

Covid has neurological effects.

One in 10 covid infections leads to long covid which can include neuro symptoms (brain fog is how its often described, but it's not limited to that)

It's really not surprising that one manifestation is behavioural changes at a society level.

It feels like everything has gone to shit since Brexit and then Covid. What was meant to bring us together has driven us all further apart. People are angry and entitled. Everyone stands their ground in any disagreement. There is far less of coming around to a different viewpoint. It’s never been easier to connect but we have all become so insular. The country is full of anger x

Personally I think this crisis will eventually be linked back to the smart phone and a liberal capitalist society. People cannot just 'be' anymore. Just look a public transport, everyone staring at phones. Especially teenagers, their developing brains are not able to process, instead of being lost in thought they are being bombarded with information, often negative. All this tech was developed for profit, and constantly upgraded for further profit. We are subjected constantly to advertising designed by psychologists to make us feel inadequate so we consume more. We are manipulated all the time. And because of our liberal views we restrict nothing, hard-core porn can be viewed at the bus stop or 24/7. Not to mention extreme right or left wing views dividing us all the time and inciting hate. Im not at all surprised society is feeling the effects on a larger scale.

A lot of men in particular have just checked out of society.

You’ve stated your belief that the world is on fire whilst Biden is in office but you believe that Trump’s presidency is the one to be feared. If the Biden administration was so great then why exactly is the world on fire right now? Why didn’t they stop wars, COL crisis, homelessness etc? What are they waiting for?

I’m assuming you’re left leaning and I’m guessing that means you think that Republicans are ‘wrong’ but I find your statement illogical nonetheless. Trump’s definitely an unpleasant madman but Biden is a creepy dimwit and both are utterly corrupt and dishonest. What’s to admire about either of them?

I’m not in the US and I’m apolitical so strong political allegiances have always baffled me because I think both Left and Right are awful. I’m old enough to have experienced both sides being in power and I’ve never breathed a sigh of relief when the ‘correct’ side has triumphed in an election. It’s always same old, same old.

It is because we have been lied to by government, both about Brexit and about the necessity for lockdowns. I don't find people's anger and so called entitlement a bad thing, it shows that we won't be put upon. As a lockdown spectic, I don't like all the talk about how our 'blitz spirit' failed and how we failed to come together. We are reacting as best we can to having been under house arrest for the best part of two years! I don't understand why people on here are minimizing this and blaming 'selfishness' instead of blaming government incompetence and complacency.

Actually following on from a PP’s interaction with people. So I’ve been trying to walk more generally rather than use the car, if I have time.

Last night I was in an area which is urban but I know it fairly well, it’s safe. Stuck to back streets. One older man who was following quickly behind me actually apologised to me if he’d scared me. Lower working class type. Then when I walked down another street not too far away another similar man said good evening to me. You never hear this! I’m a white working middle class woman for context. I never hear this in my area which is predominantly white working middle class.

And yes, anxiety! So many people seem so anxious about everything. Look at all the people on here who won’t open their front doors!

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It.
Just like it was 10 years ago. And 20. And 30…
And ask your parents.

I agree OP something is definitely up. I live abroad and normally come back to the UK 2-3 times a year (except during pandemic). My family live in the NW. For more than a decade there has been a noticeable decline every time I return. More homelessness, poverty, closed shops and services, things looking increasingly tatty. But only in the last few years have I noticed that people themselves seem different. Things just feel flat and unhappy. I used to think I was imagining it but friends have noticed too.

Is it the impact of Covid, Brexit, years of a Tory government? All three? Something else? I don't know, but I can say it's not the same feeling in the country I live in, though it too also has a struggling economy and corrupt government, went through lockdown etc and of course technology is the same. So I don't know.

And a lot of men are running society.

Home working has been positive change in general. Particularly hybrid.

It's social media that's wrecked everyone's minds. If I could articulate what I think OP is driving at in a word I'd call it nihilism.

Home working may be a positive for people with families as it cuts commuting but the effects on young people are horrific. Imagine being a new grad in your first job working in your bedroom. You’ve had to move across the country because you have to be in the office twice a week but the rest of the time you’re working in your bedroom in a shared house. Little social interaction, minimal face to face interaction and at a stage when people used to make their friends through work and in the pub after. Grim and the effects will be felt for a long time.

Couldn't agree more with this.

And the appalling dating culture of today. Thank fuck I've been in the same relationship for over 25 years, but reading horror stories here fills me with dread for young people, especially girls.

I remember the advent of Tinder, and the shitty behaviour that enabled overnight. And porn. Now the most demeaning, exploitative, violent practices are seen as 'normal'. Men cannot possibly be expected to use contraception. And women internalise this shit and agree with it. Or think they do.