To wonder what posh Mums cook for dinner…

[Primrosecottagelover]

I have just seen Pippa Middleton’s bikini photos on the DM. Three different bikinis so far, washboard abs & nothing jiggles as she chases three kids. She could easily pass as a fibreglass mannequin. I’m wondering why it is that the Middleton women and affluent women (even middle class at my child’s school), always seem to be so impossibly slim. I struggle with my weight and I would love to see the groceries, fridge contents, packed lunchboxes and dinner plans of the other half. Obviously I know what healthy eating and cooking is but, the bodies of Mothers these days is next level. Why am I struggling to keep my tummy from flopping out while women in their 40’s pull off wearing linen mini shorts (not in UK) and high waisted jeans.

I’ve been both, @Primrosecottagelover - 132kg and so skinny you could see my ribs (I’m in the middle now. I didn’t think I was posh, growing up, but can see now that where I grew up was affluent and I was surrounded by the Cheshire set who were the overwhelmingly slim, skinny jeans, Botox crew. My family on my mum’s side and their friends are mostly very slim - but it comes at a cost. They eat healthily but they don’t really snack, no takeouts, no ready meals, very little processed foods. Porridge or eggs for breakfast, maybe some soup or houmous/carrots for lunch, a protein-rich dinner with carbs, some healthy fats and plenty of veggies. Loads of fibre-rich foods throughout the day. Not a massive potato family. Desserts/sweet treats/crisps etc are for celebrations or when family/friends come over, fruit usually otherwise. No soda. Plenty of sleep, which limits energy crashes. Exercise six days out of seven, which limits cravings, even as it increases overall hunger (which is fine, as you just have slightly larger portions at mealtimes which your body needs). Eat when they’re hungry, stop when they’re full. It gives them disgustingly bouncy hair and clear skin, too 😒

I’m much the same again now, but I like the odd takeout and I love a dessert. I struggle with snacking when I’m on hormonal contraception (case in point: went on it again on 3 Jan, and in five weeks I put on 14kg and was miserable and ravenous all the time, but completely stopped the day I came off it - none of the women on my mum’s side have ever been on hormonal contraception and I think I understand why I started piling weight on when I went to uni, now, as it coincided with me going on the pill and I didn’t stop for another fourteen years).

I feel for you, though, OP! It’s really tough. I can hand on heart say that the ones I know aren’t starving themselves, though, they just make different choices. I choose not to make those same choices so I have cellulite and a buddha belly 😁. I think my belly is cute, though, like a grumpy, wobble face ☺️

Good for you. I’m trying to do the same. Getting there. Where do you buy your bread from - a bakery or supermarket?

Most bakeries aren't much better in terms of ingredients than supermarkets. Perhaps a little, but most are still choc full of ingredients/extras. If that bothers you, home made is the way to go. We have a breadmaker which makes it really easy. I can even make sourdough in it.

They all use Wegovy now…

Their secret is that they have nannies to care for the children and cleaners to care for the house, and other staff, so that they can spend long hours making themselves look like Stepford Wives. They spend hours in the gym, exercising the right muscles to look great, and because they are not picking up children and bags of shopping, they don't get back ache and pulled muscles that mums who really work at being mums get.

Don't envy them, rather feel sorry for the children who have to live up to mothers to whom model bodies are more important than they are.

Hahahahah what a load of shite! 😂

Some people really do have vivid imaginations.

guinea fowl

Cut out sugar, meat & ultra processed foods, cook your meals from scratch and walk everywhere - you’ll see a massive difference to your waistline (and bank balance!). Also if you can cut down on or even cut out butter/margarine and cheese that will help a lot too. I drizzle olive oil over veggies and have peanut butter or avocado on toast instead of butter.

I’ve given up sugar for lent and have some dates or blueberries when I get a sweet craving, I’ve already lost 2lb in the first week and I’ve done zero exercise. They put sugar in EVERYTHING so check the ingredients list of your cereals, yogurt, fruit cordials, etc., and just swap them out. “Sugar-free” products likely still have sweeteners added to them. Obviously fizzy drinks are a no-no.

As for cutting out meat you’ll feel less hungry is you have lentils or legumes as part of a meal instead. A chunky veg and lentil soup has been my standby lunch for years and it really fills you up and keeps you trim. If you eat lots of high fibre foods like whole grains that’s another great way to stop feeling hungry. Fruit smoothies made from scratch with a quarter cup of oats added also a good shout.

I’d also really recommend making your own bread as store bought bread is full of preservatives. I make sourdough every week which feels really satisfying - nothing beats the smell of freshly baked bread! If you’ve not much time you could support your local bakery and buy your bread there instead. It’s also a nice way to support an independent business in your area.

@llizzie what percentage of the population do you think actually lives like that?

Laughingcat - why does that 'come at a cost' - surely that's just a natural way of life, they're more than happy to live.

I’m a fitness lover, cook healthy meals from scratch every night, make my own sourdough twice and sweet things like cakes / puddings weekly. I never use packet mixes and rarely sauces (just pesto and some curry pastes). The UPF foods my family eat are cereals and crisps. We never have freezer beige food. My teen DC are extremely active and love their food. I most definitely prioritise feeding them well, as with their activity levels it is so important. They’re not perfect of course, they go out with their friends to Greggs etc but they are quite fussy about what they’ll order.

I am a size 6 lean runner who does a lot of weights as well. I like small portions, lots of fruit and veg, and pulses but not vegetarian. I’m lucky that I’m a decent cook. I never eat packaged processed foods as I cannot stomach it and feel sick after eating it. I do eat out and enjoy it, mostly, so my diet is not restricted in that sense, but I could not eat at McDs or KFC even if I hadn’t eaten for days.

Upf is so ubiquitous, people can't imagine living without it. No-one says being sober and clear headed every day 'comes at a cost' of not drinking.

This! There is also a genetic and psychological component. I’ve always been a slim-ish size 10 without much effort, but do have a little bit of a mum tum partly down to my twin pregnancy stretch/c-section. I love food, but do try not to eat rubbish food very often as it just isn’t good for you. If I want a biscuit I will have one, but not every day. I’m not a comfort eater. We cook mostly from scratch. I actually enjoy healthy food. Bigger friends definitely eat more. I now exercise more than I ever have (since my sporty teens) as I found it really helps with peri menopause symptoms and makes me feel better about myself. In my middle class family and amongst most of my friends being obese would definitely be frowned upon - I know that sounds awful, but it’s true.

where did it say meat and two vegetables was a negative?

That should have been bake sourdough twice weekly. Also meant to add that I avoid artificial sweeteners entirely as I hate the taste - think they are so bad for everyone and it's concerning how its impossible to find a drink without them these days. I have also bought flavoured yogurts in the past labelled high protein, and have had to chuck them out after tasting them and realising they'd put the evil sweeteners in.

Teust me but if you really hadn’t eaten any food at all for more than two or three days then you would happily eat a meal from MacD’s or a KFC.

It really does sound awful I’m afraid. Do your family and friends appreciate that some people put on weight because they are taking anti-depressants or receiving treatment with steroids?

Of course they do - it’s just less socially acceptable to be overweight in these social circles. Doesn’t mean people are banished if they are unwell or struggling!

@MrsB74 I agree with you, there’s no way I’d be invited to all the skiing and beach holidays if I was obese. It sounds terrible but actually having a slim friendship group has been a great motivator for me. I’m larger than most of them but I work hard to keep excess weight off.

It sounds terrible but actually having a slim friendship group has been a great motivator for me

Do your friendship groups also exercises (skiing I guess is one form) and do they eat healthily when around you?

Yes and yes, always rushing off to play tennis etc. I’m more of a sun lounger type of person.

It’s human nature to compare yourself to your peer group I think and so while I know I will never be as slim and toned as my friends I do my best not to be overweight. I guess I think they can do it so why can’t I (even though I’m fundamentally a greedy pig).

these type of people have money, so they eat quality products, and not ready meals and processed food. Like French women who eat well and drink wine but all in moderation and good quality fresh food. I’m quite slim and when I go out to eat with friends it amazes me the amount they can eat.

I cook everything from scratch.

The only processed food I buy is plant-based milk and yoghurt, but these aren’t “U”PF, just processed.

I don’t eat bread, cakes etc. so I don’t need to bake.

Hold on, I just want to point out that all these people who are size 6 would have been 8 to 10 in the 70s and early 80s. I was then much slimmer and a size 10 mainly, occasionally an 8. There was no 6 and 8s were quite hard to find until the start of the 80s, when they became more prevalent. Now I'm a stone and a half heavier and nearly always an 8. As we've all become fatter, so sizes have changed to flatter us. I remember reading a time travel novel. The main character was stuck in the 1950s. She got a job and went shopping with a 10 shilling note. Asked for a size 10 and wondered why the assistant handed it to her with a smug look. She couldn't get it on 😂. So, everyone, if you're gazing in admiration at all these size 6 wearing MN members, keep it in perspective.