Friend won't accept no for an answer

[CrDrFr]

Friend told me she's going on an activity holiday with about ten others, most of whom I know but would consider acquaintances more than friends, then said "I'll send you the details", but didn't actually ask me!

I replied saying, "if you're asking me, I'm not interested, I'm planning on taking a short break at home this year", which is true, but also, lovely as my friend is, I'm not interested in holidaying with most of the others.

She then said "do both, you only live once, I'll change your mind yet", etc.

I'm not great with being firm with people, so any advice appreciated.

She's also been encouraging me to join a running club she's in... I prefer to run alone!

How to be firm?

Ignore the details she sends you and if she presses say ”stop asking me. I’ve been clear I’m not going.”

Just ignore any info sent about it and keep saying no.

And maybe question if you want to continue the friendship…

Just don't bring it up even when she sends the details and if she does, just say you told her you don't want to.

"Only if you're paying for everything!"

That will stop her from asking.

It can't be that difficult to say no. Just keep saying no, and you won't change your mind.

I'd be tempted to say "What part of the word NO do you not understand?" or "I don't like pushy people - would you like it if a man was pushing himself on you with that 'I'll change your mind yet' line? It's creepy in any context."

ETA Or even "What are you, a bloody sales rep?" (I don't value "friends" with this sort of attitude, as you can see.)

‘No. It’s not my cup of tea. I don’t fancy it.’ Then ignore anything else raised about it after that as it’s pointless.

No.

no.

it is still a no.

goodness. This is getting tedious now. (With an eyeroll)

Don’t get into giving loads of reasons as to why you can’t go as she’ll keep coming up with ‘solutions’ (I’ve got a friend like this so know the MO!). Stick with one reason that she can’t ‘solve’. (Don’t say- I can’t make those dates, can’t afford it etc or anything she could attempt to ‘fix’.)

so: I prefer to run alone so I’m not joining your running club. And: I don’t want to go on a group activity holiday. It’s not my thing.

End of.

It's not your problem if she won't accept it 🤷‍♂️

You have to say that you don't want to do (whatever it is) but thank her for asking you. If she keeps asking, just say that you already said that you don't want to do it and nothing she can say will change your mind.

Just laugh it off!
No need to get all 'no is a complete sentence' and 'what part of no don't you get' about it.

If she's lovely as you say, and she obviously enjoys your company too, then I'd hope you can navigate turning down an invite without getting all arsey.

Lovely as it sounds, I really don't want to.
It's not for me, but have a fantastic time.
Nope! Still not my cup of tea!
Etc.

This, totally agree

If all that has happened is in your OP, then your title is a bit dramatic.

Someone suggesting you get out of your comfort zone a bit, once, after you initially said you weren't interested, is hardly "someone who won't accept no for an answer", just a {to quote you} lovely friend who doesn't want you to miss out and hopes you might give it a go.
Fine if you don't. Just say "nah, I've already said. Not my sort of thing" and change the subject. No drama. No need to be sarcastic.

‘I’ve already said no, stop telling me to come/join, it isn’t happening’. If she persists, tell her you find it insulting that she isn’t taking you seriously.

‘No it’s lovely of you to ask but big group holidays are not my thing so that’s the end of it’
’Your running club sounds great, so good that it works for you. I am definitely a lone runner though so it’s a last and final ‘no’.

’sometimes, friend, you need to accept no for an answer’

Yes she will. Just say NO

Say no.

No, it’s not for me this year.

You really can't say, "No, and don't ask again?" You be firm by being firm. It's not hard.

Don’t reply anymore about it you’ve given your answer. Just reply about other things.

Ignore the "holiday details" and if/when she asks, it's just a breezy, oh no that's not for me.

Ps. No-one normal "just says no", that's a weird Mumsnet myth.

Thanks for thinking of me, it’s not for me.

As I said, it’s not for me. Hope you have fun though and look forward to hearing about it.

That’s very kind of her to invite you to the holiday and club, nice she wants to do those things with you. All you need to do is say no thankyou each time she suggests you go, it’s straight forward and consistent, you don’t need to make your answer complex.

I’d be interested to know how many times she has asked you about the holiday. Also the running club.