Friend won't accept no for an answer

[CrDrFr]

Friend told me she's going on an activity holiday with about ten others, most of whom I know but would consider acquaintances more than friends, then said "I'll send you the details", but didn't actually ask me!

I replied saying, "if you're asking me, I'm not interested, I'm planning on taking a short break at home this year", which is true, but also, lovely as my friend is, I'm not interested in holidaying with most of the others.

She then said "do both, you only live once, I'll change your mind yet", etc.

I'm not great with being firm with people, so any advice appreciated.

She's also been encouraging me to join a running club she's in... I prefer to run alone!

How to be firm?

If I were in your shoes I’d either….
a) ignore any message about holidays/running completely and not acknowledge them at all. If face to Face I’d glide past. “It’s not for me….oh did I tell you I went to that new restaurant down town. It was lovely….”
Or
b) Directly address it. Say you are getting frustrated at being asked the same questions repeatedly and ask her if she can stop.

of course the other option is stopping the friendship.

'Thank you but no - this isn't my sort of thing at all.'

Just keep saying you don't want to go. Keep it simple, no other explanations that she can use to talk you round. It gets easier.

I’d call her when she’s not expecting it and just say I’m really sorry I don’t want to upset you but i have to tell you that it’s a firm no on the trip. Nothing is the matter. Can we just leave it there?

Just tell her its your idea of a nightmare and your not paying to be Thrown into your nightmare in real life. I would hate a activity holiday with a ton of people. Im certainly not Paying for it when i could pay for my perfect holiday instead.

Just keep saying no and that you have your own holiday plans this year

Ignore or just repeat and rinse really x

Stick to your boundaries.

"Sorry, I have other stuff planned." "What stuff?" "Stuff that keeps me sane and I'm happy with."

"Sorry, really can't make any financial commitments this year."

"Lovely to see you, but just dealing with family stuff right this year."

Or if your life is carved in stone and all your relationships.

"Sorry, I don't go abroad in groups."

"This really doesn't appeal to me."

"Nah, that's not for me. But have fun."

Give her a closed answer, so next time she tries to force you into a situation your not comfortable with just say " NO"

Then say nothing else and wait for it to sink in.

Every time she brings up the subject just say no. It's harder for her to wriggle out of and you have the upper hand.

I have a habit of telling people "I would rather eat glass" haha that usually gets the point across too.

Does she think you need more friends?

Id ask her cos that's typically why one friend gets you involved with their other friends.

If it is the motivation, you can then say 'thanks for keep inviting me to stuff, but I'm good as I am I don't need any more friends. I'm happy as I am'

Good friends are hard to find x

Just say family comes first I prioritise to visit them

I have been known to say "not interested" several times in a row to the point where I'm speaking over them and then change the conversation.
It's taken years to be able to do this.

Make it clear once you won’t be going and then ignore all subsequent communication if it relates to the adventure holiday.

Just say ‘sounds fun but I’ll give it a miss thanks though’ so simple.

this

Hello - Clearly, this is difficult for you but you should not be made to feel uncomfortable because someone else is pressuring you to do things you'd rather not do.

You have told her but she hasn't listened. There is no easy way out of this except to maintain your stance and repeat your wishes.

You may have to do this more than once which could make things harder for you.

However, a true friend should take note of your feelings and your wishes in these matters. It may ultimately depend upon how much your friendship means to you.

Some questions that could be considered are ' How much do I need this friendship?'
'Could this person became an acquaintance rather than a friend?'
There are probably other things that need to be thought about, only you can find the solution.

Good luck and best wishes.

This sounds like an ASD V ADHD question. I’d simply say.. I love you.. but I hate people. Not going can’t wait to see you next x

Just keep saying no. Avoid explaining.
People who try to get others to join in, start a new hobby, go out socialising are a PITA.
I love a day or two at home alone doing exactly what I want. it makes me relaxed, happy and energised, then I can face the world again. Maybe send her a text/email saying this?

Is she normally so pushy? If not I think I would be asking myself and then her why she wants you on the holiday so badly, if it is unusual behaviour for her I would have a conversation with her to make sure everything is okay

Depersonalise it. Instead of "Sorry I don't want to", try "That's not possible".
Then refuse to discuss further, just refer to previous answer.

Just say , good god I couldn’t think of anything worse. I’m straight up with all my friends, they never get annoyed and find it funny.

I'd stake my mortgage on this being a financial situation and I'd call her out on that, the next time she asks, hoping she'll be too embarrassed to pursue it further. "I understand the cost may go up for everyone if you don't have an extra person, but I'm afraid I can't make it."

This…
Just say “No it’s not my cup of tea!’
“no I don’t like the sound of it”
No I’m really not interested !”
No excuses or reasons other than “NO I DON’T WANT TO, but thanks!”

Just say no keep saying No If necessary ask which part of No she doesn't understand!

Good idea to depersonalise.