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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If money was no object, how many kids would you have?

150 replies

Trueqe · 18/02/2024 22:40

I have a friend who said to me the other day that there is a window for childbearing and in her opinion the goal is to have as many as we can whilst we can….money is no object for her as she is very rich.

I always end up feeling less maternal as I don’t agree with this at all. I have two kids and want to give them the best of me, having more than that, I just feel I’d be outnumbered and knackered and even if money were no object I really think I’d feel the same way.

Curious to see how other people feel?

YANBU - I’d stick with the number I’ve got if money was no object
YABU - Hell yeah, if I was loaded I’d have more, the more the better

OP posts:
Loubelle70 · 18/02/2024 23:40

YANBU...ive got 1...she is in her 30s, i wouldn't have had more, i love kids though. I was scared the way the world was going, and i proved myself right...glad i only had 1

Codlingmoths · 18/02/2024 23:41

I’d have 4 instead of the 3 I have, finances were a factor for me plus our capacity, so money no object I’d hire is a housekeeper and gardener and nanny and personal trainers 😁

theduchessofspork · 18/02/2024 23:41

CheshireCat1 · 18/02/2024 23:36

I’ve got three and looking back I wished I’d have had six, regardless of the money situation.

I’m not sure your 3 would have appreciated that, it’s a rare person who can successfully parent 6 kids

DaftyLass · 18/02/2024 23:44

I am hugely grateful for the DC I have, but I would have had more if money allowed.

ChelseeDagger · 18/02/2024 23:44

theduchessofspork · 18/02/2024 23:41

I’m not sure your 3 would have appreciated that, it’s a rare person who can successfully parent 6 kids

Show quote history

Its not really so rare, is it?

Both of my grandmas managed it, as did my MIL.

WinterFaye2 · 18/02/2024 23:44

3 but we have to stop at 2

cadburyegg · 18/02/2024 23:45

I'm a single parent of 2. I wouldn't have more children if you paid me a million dollars. They are 9 and nearly 6 now, and they still need so much of my attention and care, just in a different way to when they were babies. I'm the only one they want most of the time, so nannies/more childcare wouldn't help and I can't split myself in two.

BarelyLiterate · 18/02/2024 23:47

The same number I have now. Zero.

WibblyWobblyWeeble · 18/02/2024 23:50

I only ever wanted one.

RightOnTheEdge · 18/02/2024 23:54

I've got two, I'm happy with that.
A euro millions jackpot wouldn't make me want more.

Ofmince · 18/02/2024 23:55

If money is no object, then assuming we're talking rich enough as in don't have to work but also live a life of luxury. Nice house with a home gym, spa and pool. Don't have to work for money so can completely remove my current work stress and just general trying to make ends meet stress and focus on being a mum and a human in general. Can buy in help such a cleaner, cook, day and night nannies, driver, personal trainer, doula, counsellor, gardener, even a butler if you fancy it etc etc.

Basically the life of royalty.

If all this was an option to me, then I would have started earlier and seen how I got on I guess. The main reason I've delayed having kids is because I didn't have financial security.

secular37 · 18/02/2024 23:55

It's not about the money. It's about the mental and emotional input. Two is enough.

izimbra · 18/02/2024 23:55

One.

I currently have three.

QueenBitch666 · 19/02/2024 00:18

Still none Grin

QueenBitch666 · 19/02/2024 00:19

XenoBitch · 18/02/2024 22:50

None. All the money in the world would not make me want one.

I'll drink to that Grin

RantyAnty · 19/02/2024 00:20

2 the same as I have now

Crazycatlady79 · 19/02/2024 00:21

Not that I have an uterus any longer, but I'd stick with the twins I've got.

Had never planned on having more than one child, so twins was an adjustment.

No money in the world could have made more want more.

FenellaBestwick · 19/02/2024 00:23

I wanted 3, we could afford it but dh said no. He'd reached the end of his tether with 2. I grieved that 3rd child for about 8yrs.

Palindrone · 19/02/2024 00:31

I'm an only child and have one daughter, so the one-child set-up feels natural to me.

DH is one of five and has had a hugely positive experience growing up in a large family so he imagined us multiple children and I was on board with having at least one more. However, after our daughter was born he was adamant he was getting the snip!

Our DD is incredible but has numerous disabilities as a result of being born on the cusp of viability. Her needs are far in excess of a typical child and her frequent lengthy hospital admissions mean we couldn't possibly give additional children the time they deserve to flourish, especially with no support network close by.

So in a perfect world, would I have had more children, if money was no object? I won't lie, there have been times when I've yearned for another child, given the joy DD brings. Having a house big enough to accommodate more children and unlimited money for childcare/their future would certainly make me feel this was more attainable but there are more factors at play than money.

I had my DD at almost 40. I'm now 45 and quite frankly fucking knackered, trying to juggle work with caring for 2 elderly relatives with dementia plus my daughter.

In a hypothetical situation where I was not only wealthier but also younger and had fewer caring responsibilities then yes, I'd have more than one child, but in that scenario, I wouldn't have my DD, and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

TeaPotPetPig · 19/02/2024 00:50

Two. Plus a pony for each of them. Three dogs. Two rabbits. A cat. A tropical fish tank. A freshwater fish tank. A rescue parrot. A tortoise. A gardener. A housekeeper to clean out the pets. We'd all be very happy together.

OnlyTheBravest · 19/02/2024 00:54

Six with the help of a nanny. Starting at 24 every two years.

Dancerprancer19 · 19/02/2024 00:56

4 but I wouldn’t have the ‘extra’ children biologically, my body has had more than enough trauma. I would adopt.

Buglife22 · 19/02/2024 00:56

I have 4 soon to be 5. Would probably have maybe one more but I doubt it. DHs mum was one of 8 siblings and his dad was one of 11. So many aunts and uncles. But they've all done well for themselves.
Each of the Aunts & Uncles have kept within 2/3 kids each.

HollyKnight · 19/02/2024 00:59

None. I would be too busy travelling the world, experiencing all the wonderful things that I can't afford to experience now.

SirenSays · 19/02/2024 01:06

5 or 6

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