DH threw away my wedding ring!

[Spencer0220]

I wish this was a joke. But it isn't. How would you handle this?

DH has a brain injury and can do things that make no sense. We usually laugh his mistakes off.

He was tidying the kitchen. I was in bed. I'd forgotten I'd taken my ring off in the kitchen. It was wet, so he wrapped it in kitchen roll. Promptly forgot.

DH threw rubbish in bin. Took bin out. Council emptied bins.

I realised next day. He remembered throwing wet kitchen roll away.

DH is mortified. I'm trying not be to upset around him because I know it was an accident and he doesn't think clearly.

But honestly I'm absolutely devastated.

I’ve also lost the gold watch that my dad got my mum for her 21st birthday, my dad died 28 years ago and it wasn’t the nicest watch but obviously meant a lot to me and I was wearing it for a time, that still upsets me when I think about it, I can’t replace it and feel like an idiot, I was so irresponsible but these things do happen unfortunately

The excess would be most of the cost.

I would still try to claim on insurance. The good thing about it being a wedding ring is you must have a photograph of you wearing it for proof . Do you have unspecified items cover? I saw you said the excess is more than the value but you can hope that insurers will offer an ex-gratia payment in the circumstances.

Even if you don’t get a pay out ,its fine for you both to acknowledge your sadness at the loss of ring. You’re still just as married without it.

That's exactly it, I think. He is not the man that I married. And vice versa with me.

But I wouldn't change things for the world.

I've got arthritis in my hands. I've outgrown 3 gold rings now and had a couple of engagement rings cut off. Bought a recycled silver one £35 at a craft fayre. 2 years on it shines as bright as the day we bought it.

That’s so sad. My DH had a stroke which has left him with problems. Like your DH he’s not the man I married and life is incredibly frustrating at times. It’s hard to feel the same way about your relationship and events like this just remind you of how much has changed.
Although DH did throw away all my shoes a few years ago, well before the stroke. It was a misunderstanding , we were decorating and he asked me to sort through my shoes and put the ones I no longer wanted in a black bag for the tip. Trouble was he’d put them all in a black bag, I sorted them and he threw both bags away.
I am super careful with jewellery and never leave it lying around just in case he pick it up. Fortunately he’s more likely to “put it somewhere safe” but then can’t remember where.

Hugs to you @Angrymum22 xx

This

When I was married mine disappeared off the side of the sink, oddly turned up in my ex’s floorboards this year ( lost in 2008) I was gutted as it was beautiful and I loved it. I wore a basic gold band about £60 for the remainder of the marriage. I hope you manage to find another ring, as people said it’s just a symbol you know how much love you both have x

I don't know if this will help but I work for a luxury British jewellery brand and have a very generous discount- I'd be more than happy for you to use it if you wanted a replacement ring?

Just send me a message if you want!

Can I just send 💐to the OP and her DH for this very sad event. It’s okay to feel utterly gutted, and conflicted for your DH’s distress. Hope you find a way to create a new special bond. There are some lovely suggestions on this thread.

My DDs and I forged our own silver rings lately as a day out, and there was a lovely couple on it who were making commitment rings. When the time is right, you might think about this.

Love is more than a ring, but it’s okay to feel sad.

Thank you so, so much.

And thank you also to the anonymous person who PMed me and very generously offered me their late grandmother's ring.

DH and I are so touched by the wonderful comments here. I only posted because I needed somewhere to vent, when I couldn't show it at home.

DH has today gone online to the company who made our wedding rings. They have a different catalog now, and I chose something much cheaper that I liked. It was £46.

Because it was the same company they are going to engrave the new ring for us, free of charge with the same wording as the original, in the exact same font.

So, I can still view it as a special ring. Because what made it ours in the first place, as we always said, was our engraving that was so uniquely us. And at least I can have that back.

I am so pleased you have found something that works for you OP - that sounds like a great compromise, and really kind of the company.

Thank you.

It will never change what happened. But replacing the sentiment goes a long way.

He's feeling much better today, now that he has purchased something for me. I'm so pleased he can smile again.

That's what matters most.

It's a ring.

You have a husband and a marriage. The ring is a symbol of that but it doesn't make you any less married.

Your new ring is a symbol of your marriage continuing in good times and bad.

I have 3 rings, all similar, and lost one. Was very upset. Got it replaced.

3 people on this thread have thrown away tissues so it just goes to show how common it is.

I agree with you. I think the OP needs to own this. This isn't something that happened because of her husband's brain injury, or suboptimal cleaning strategies. I think he is being unfairly blamed for the loss. I really am sorry you lost your ring, but perhaps you are shifting your annoyance with yourself, for this unintentional outcome, onto your husband, & he doesn't deserve this.

How @Rosebud21 ??

I was in bed. He wrapped the ring. And threw it.

Please explain.

@Spencer0220 well done for being so mature about this and being so considerate of your DH, who I can imagine has been feeling awful about it. I think your resolution sounds fantastic for both of you.

Please do not feel the need to defend yourself against the very few posters who have misunderstood who wrapped the ring up - you have resolved the issue and it doesn't matter if every person responding understands it. Don't let it live longer in your head than it needs to just because people are misreading your post!

Because you wrapped the ring in a piece of tissue/paper towel! It's entirely reasonable that your husband thought this was waste, & subsequently there it away when cleaning up. Had the ring been clearly on view, in a small jewellery tray for example & he threw it away, then yes, you'd be justified in your claim. YABU.

I apologise, I completely misread your post, & that you husband wrapped the ring in a piece of tissue & threw it away

It's okay @Rosebud21

If it's any consolation, I feel so bad that I forgot I left it in the kitchen. I wasn't feeling well and my mind was obviously on that and I went to bed.

Fantastic idea!

Do you have a ring dish you can keep it in? I never take mine off