Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then regretted it?

181 replies

AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 17:45

PLEASE BE KIND.

I know these threads can bring out the worst in people so please don’t kick me when I’m down.

I have a 2 year old dog, had him since a pup. He was honestly the most well behaved puppy ever - crate trained from day one, no accidents inside unless unwell, never chewed or destroyed anything etc. However he has now regressed during his ‘teenage’ stage and is honestly a nightmare.

He doesn’t listen to a word you say, he is running out the front door into the road (he has a gate across the kitchen but has now started jumping this so pretty useless), he is lunging at every dog we see on walks to the point where I don’t want to walk him anymore, jumping all over the furniture, walls and guests whenever someone comes over.

He is a cross bread and a bit of a nightmare to train as of late because nothing motivates him anymore to actually listen to the command you’re giving him.

I’ve honestly got to the point where I’ve given up on him - I dread waking up to him every morning and it’s honestly the biggest shame because I used to absolutely adore that dog before this all started happening but he just triggers the entire household and it’s pushing me to breaking point, I feel mentally and physically unwell and drained.

Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then later on regretted it?

I really am starting to consider it as one of my options because of the toll it’s taking not only on me but the whole house but my biggest worry is once everything has settled down it would be the biggest mistake of my life getting rid of him…

OP posts:
Woodstocks · 17/02/2024 17:49

We did. We rehomed him with a family member and nobody misses him at all. The kids were fine about it literally didn’t blink.

i think a lot of people take on way too much feeling of responsibility and treat a dog like a child and giving a dog up is seen as abandoning him, worst thing you can do, part of the family etc but let’s be real- it is only an animal at the end of the day and if you do right by the dog and he comes to a good new home where he is wanted you have done enough. You don’t have to slog on for the next ten years waiting for him to die!

Crazycatlady79 · 17/02/2024 17:49

I don't imagine this post will go well, especially with you referring to getting 'rid' of dogs like they're rubbish.

If you're at a stage where your training (of lack thereof) is causing issues, then you owe it to the dog to get outside help.

Any responsible dog owner would exhaust all possibilities prior to even contemplating removing the poor animal from their home.

GreekDogRescue · 17/02/2024 17:50

Sounds like you are all bored of him now OP. Maybe he’s feeling neglected or frustrated? Have you any friends an or family that would take him on? I hope you don’t end up dumping him on a rescue as they’re overwhelmed with people dumping their lockdown dogs.

GreekDogRescue · 17/02/2024 17:51

Woodstocks · 17/02/2024 17:49

We did. We rehomed him with a family member and nobody misses him at all. The kids were fine about it literally didn’t blink.

i think a lot of people take on way too much feeling of responsibility and treat a dog like a child and giving a dog up is seen as abandoning him, worst thing you can do, part of the family etc but let’s be real- it is only an animal at the end of the day and if you do right by the dog and he comes to a good new home where he is wanted you have done enough. You don’t have to slog on for the next ten years waiting for him to die!

Good grief..
please don’t buy another dog.

VanLife33 · 17/02/2024 17:51

Everything @Woodstocks said

Original poster
AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 17:52

I have done my absolute best by the dog but now it’s impacting my mental health to the point where everyday is a real struggle - he wasn’t a lockdown dog either before that’s a suggestion.

I absolutely adored the dog but his behaviour is just out of control - I’ve consulted with multiple dog trainers and he actually goes to a daycare with a trainer there once a week and he is even causing issues there now too.

At what point does the humans in the household take priority?

OP posts:
fleurneige · 17/02/2024 17:53

'Get rid' - like a piece of junk- and you ask for kind answers.

This dog is as he is because of YOU - an alternative is to spend the time and money to train him properly, but it will take longer because of the neglect in his first years.

Re-home will be the kindest thing, but don't expect any sympathy from me. Sorry- well not. Refuges and RSPCA are full to the brim with dog like yours, for the same reason. So sad, sick even.

fleurneige · 17/02/2024 17:53

Posts crossed. Re-home, and never ever have a dog again.

Original poster
AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 17:54

@fleurneige on the basis that you know nothing about me or what I have or haven’t done with the dog - I’m going to ignore your ignorant post.

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 17/02/2024 17:55

A response good pet owner knows when they are in over their head and when to admit they are not the best home for the dog/pet.

Clinging on to a oh well we took them on so till they die while giving them say a poor life doesn’t make one person a better owner than one who owns up admits their limits/mistakes and rehomes.

Knowing what’s best for the animal makes the best owner even if you have to admit your not the best owner or home
for them.

Original poster
AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 17:57

@OhmygodDont that’s exactly where I’m at, at the moment.

I know it’s pushed me past the point of wanting to help the situation - it’s broken me really and I have nothing left to give the situation - I really have exhausted a lot of different avenues.

I am miserable but more importantly - the dog isn’t happy either - as he is feeding off my energy of not wanting to be around him etc and I think there is definitely another home out there that’ll have the patience for him.

OP posts:
Mairzydotes · 17/02/2024 17:58

Has he been neutered? Would that be an option? It may calm him down if some of his behaviour is due to him reaching a certain age. It may also make him easier to remove.

Original poster
AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 18:00

@Mairzydotes I looked into it last year and the vet wouldn’t do it because he had really bad anxiety when I first got him, we finally got to a good place behaviour wise for it to happen but now his separation anxiety is through the roof so I don’t know if the vet would recommend it or not

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 17/02/2024 18:00

Can I ask what breeds he is a cross of? Tbh if he is working bred at all the teenage years can be beyond hell. I do sympathise, my spaniel is 2 and very difficult sometimes.

Rehoming a dog is not the end of the world.

Beamur · 17/02/2024 18:01

I came very close with a previous dog - not one I had from a puppy, but as young rescue. Behaved well in the house but awful outside! Ran off, pulled, liked fighting! But we decided that we would keep her. Never really got on top of her challenging behaviours but worked around them. She was a much loved pet but gave me many grey hairs...

ilovesooty · 17/02/2024 18:02

AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 17:54

@fleurneige on the basis that you know nothing about me or what I have or haven’t done with the dog - I’m going to ignore your ignorant post.

Perhaps you can give more details of what you've done? What does "consulted with multiple dog trainers" mean?

twistyizzy · 17/02/2024 18:02

Training, training and more training. Sorry but you get the dog that you deserve in relation to how much training you have put in.
Training starts on Day 1 when they come home: manners, recall etc.
I train working gundogs and for my current WCS I put 400 hours of training in the first year. Put the hard work in the first 12 months and you reap the rewards later.
Also a warning flag for mongrel breeds ie the poo crosses. You just don't know what you are going to end up with.

Original poster
AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 18:02

@OrlandointheWilderness so he is a mixture of that sort of breed - a cockapoo!

it’s honestly such a shame, because before this started happening he was the best dog - such a lovely temperament and I really did prefer his company over any human company! But he is like a completely different dog now - even to the point of showing aggression towards other male dogs or if anyone touches his things - it’s been the biggest shock

OP posts:
needastrongoneagain · 17/02/2024 18:03

Can you tell us exactly what training you have tried OP? What interventions have you put in place. You say he doesn't listen, but have you taught him unequivocally what behaviour you will reward?

Do you shout his name repeatedly, or the command repeatedly, or shout 'no' which is meaningless to a dog.

Do you praise calm behaviour and (initially) treat with something tasty? Clicker train? Kikopup on YouTube is great.

Be great to have more information

Fetaa · 17/02/2024 18:03

What breed mix is he? If you’ve had a lot of input from dog trainers then it might be time to consider other options. Are your whole family consistent with the dog trainers approach? Consistency can be hard with more people in the household.

Original poster
AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 18:05

@ilovesooty I have had many different trainers in to work with him in all sort of ways - even holistic methods/diet change/etc - he honestly doesn’t care what treat you’re offering him, as soon as he realises he needs to do something for it he would rather go without.

praising doesn’t work either as the minute you say well done, good boy etc he then takes that as a sign to do the complete opposite and any sound motivation (whistle, clicker) he is scared of.

He goes with a Walker every week who also trains dogs and even she is having issues with him and seeing a massive change in personality

OP posts:
Dogfisher · 17/02/2024 18:05

Woodstocks · 17/02/2024 17:49

We did. We rehomed him with a family member and nobody misses him at all. The kids were fine about it literally didn’t blink.

i think a lot of people take on way too much feeling of responsibility and treat a dog like a child and giving a dog up is seen as abandoning him, worst thing you can do, part of the family etc but let’s be real- it is only an animal at the end of the day and if you do right by the dog and he comes to a good new home where he is wanted you have done enough. You don’t have to slog on for the next ten years waiting for him to die!

Seriously..no words.

needastrongoneagain · 17/02/2024 18:06

It sounds like he's picking up on your tension.

A cockerpoo - what's the breeding? Cockers are known for resource guarding (I've a springer and a cocker), do you praise for relinquishing? Do you offer a higher value alternative?

needastrongoneagain · 17/02/2024 18:07

If he doesn't value treats, does he value a toy? A ball? Interaction?

Original poster
AutismMum21 · 17/02/2024 18:07

@twistyizzy he comes from a really complicated background therefore the first year was spent just building his confidence more than anything.

@needastrongoneagain the highest value treats to him are chicken and cheese but the minute he knows he has to work for them he isn’t bothered - he doesn’t have the best attention span I don’t think!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread