Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then regretted it?

[AutismMum21]

PLEASE BE KIND.

I know these threads can bring out the worst in people so please don’t kick me when I’m down.

I have a 2 year old dog, had him since a pup. He was honestly the most well behaved puppy ever - crate trained from day one, no accidents inside unless unwell, never chewed or destroyed anything etc. However he has now regressed during his ‘teenage’ stage and is honestly a nightmare.

He doesn’t listen to a word you say, he is running out the front door into the road (he has a gate across the kitchen but has now started jumping this so pretty useless), he is lunging at every dog we see on walks to the point where I don’t want to walk him anymore, jumping all over the furniture, walls and guests whenever someone comes over.

He is a cross bread and a bit of a nightmare to train as of late because nothing motivates him anymore to actually listen to the command you’re giving him.

I’ve honestly got to the point where I’ve given up on him - I dread waking up to him every morning and it’s honestly the biggest shame because I used to absolutely adore that dog before this all started happening but he just triggers the entire household and it’s pushing me to breaking point, I feel mentally and physically unwell and drained.

Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then later on regretted it?

I really am starting to consider it as one of my options because of the toll it’s taking not only on me but the whole house but my biggest worry is once everything has settled down it would be the biggest mistake of my life getting rid of him…

Not the point of the thread… but you can get special dog stair gates which are higher. We had to get one as our dog learnt to jump a normal height one we had in our kitchen.

Personally though I’d persevere and just focus solidly on training for a period of time. And get a behaviourist. Invest time and money. If that still fails then it would be in the dogs best interest to rehome (not get rid of…).

But I’m a strong believer in if you get a dog you are making them a promise to give them a forever home. We have a difficult rescue and she has taken a lot of training and time and she still has her issues but can’t imagine life without her.

Because the other person in the relationship doesn't die/end up locked in a kennel for years because you fall out of love with them.

I am not discussing tsunamis of dogs. I am pointing out that the "health benefits" of neutering are dubious at best, and can make their behaviour and health worse. Which was the point I responded to. The excess of dogs is not due to lack of neutering - it is due to irresponsible ownership, irresponsible breeding, and profiteering. Like any other "commodity", if people demand it there will be a supply. During the worst periods of covid drug dealers are finding puppy farming mode lucrative than heroin.

We rehomed our dog.

The breaking point was when he snapped at my son (10 months old) without provocation so obviously the situation is a bit different in that on a practical level we needed to get him out the house and I can't regret that.

But to be honest, even up to that point we had been struggling with him. He was a very well trained boy, lovely to everyone. But when the baby arrived, we just couldn't give him the attention he needed. We still did everything we needed to regarding walking, feeding, playing etc. But we just couldn't do the extra bits. Where he'd once had both of us WFH all day to play and snuggle him, now I had PPD and was out most of the day with the baby and my husband was struggling to balance work and sleepless nights so didn't have the spare energy for the dog. So we'd already been considering if rehoming him would be kinder, and then the snap sealed his fate.

To be honest, I don't miss him that much. I was gutted when he left. He went to live with a friend who is a dog walker and I get pangs when I see him on her social media, or old photos on my phone. I know he's having a nicer life with her than us (or pretty much any dog owner I know) which helps. But the pressure that lifted off our shoulders when he was gone was immense. I wish we could have kept him, but I don't regret not keeping him at all.

Why get a dog when you intend having children? So many idiots get dogs and then get rid because they have a baby

@mydogisthebest are you quite alright? Your comments sound psychotic, did you mean to come across this way?

@mydogisthebest What a stupid question. So no one who ever plans on having children even many years down the line should ever own a dog?

Are you really saying that when weighing up the probabilities, I was meant to assume I would get severe postnatal depression, have an infant who never slept and cried all day long and a dog who ended up trying to bite my baby's face without provocation? Rather than think I'd be one of the millions of families where dogs and children happily coexist?

I rehomed my dog and miss him a lot. I rehomed him through the charity we had got him from and he was adopted by the people who were fostering him when we were in the throes of trying to deal with DH's terminal cancer diagnosis. Then DH had a stroke and became non-verbal and bedbound, he couldn't be left unattended as he couldn't call for help if he fell from bed or needed help in some way so I was pretty much housebound too, due to the lockdown we were pretty much on our own dealing with everything that was going on.

Get rid is horrible phrasing.

Either train the dog properly, preferably by employing a good (gentle) trainer, or rehome him with someone who will do that.

Then never get another pet as animals deserve better.

I’m afraid do your view is very niche and alternative.

I’ve never heard of any vet who thought that spaying and neutering were detrimental to a dogs health.

Remember that neutering decreases the chances of developing prostatic disease and hernias, and eliminates the chances of developing testicular cancer. It also reduces problems with territorial and sexual aggression, inappropriate urination (spraying) and other undesirable behaviour.

In Greece we deal with primitive older men who have an atavistic dislike of neutering dogs; they take the castration aspect personally lol.

I can understand that dog owners in wealthy countries can afford a more luxury belief but most countries are not like the Uk and have a big ex stray dog problem. These dogs end up being poisoned or slaughtered so it’s much better they aren't born in the first place.

Obviously if you don’t want to neuter your own dog no problem. But that means a lot of vigilance to ensure no unwanted pregnancies.

I mistakenly took on a dog for my son who had always wanted one. It was a disaster for me and I felt as though I was having a nervous breakdown as too busy to take on a dog as well. Completely my fault but didnt realise how demanding it would be. After we rehomed the dog, my family was upset for about a week before they all separately admitted that we'd done the right thing and they could now relax in our home again. So no never regretted it. Do what is right for you OP.

I inherited a dog with complex behavioural issues. I tried hard to train him and give him a good life. I have other cats and dogs, and they had fixable complex issues (I have adopted a few strays). However, his medical issues were untreatable (he had recurring bacterial infections that were antibiotic resistant, and caused him to have fits), and his behaviour became unpredictable and aggressive. I really adored that dog, and tried hard to do my best by him. I made the very difficult decision to have him put to sleep after two years as I perceived him to be a dangerous dog in the wrong hands, and our vet agreed. It wasn't an easy decision, but the right one. Some dogs are not suitable for rehoming. If you do rehome, please go through a charity who can check out the next home.

I agree with this PP. I used to be a Rehoming coordinator for a large UK breed charity and I would far rather someone holds their hands up and admits they can't cope/rehomes the dog responsibly, than battle on, resenting the poor animal who will sense the negative feelings around it. You seem as though you have tried. I do wish, however, that people would have to pass an ownership test incorporating breed knowledge and canine behaviour before they could own a dog in the first place. Please don't advertise your dog online-it just encourages people to buy a dog in a couple of clicks with no thought whatsoever and the cycle continues. Dogs adapt well to rehoming-be very honest about your dog's problems to his next humans.

Have you tried pattern recognition games?

I am acclimatising to a new pup and it is so hard, but I saw a post on the Dog House section on here about pattern recognition games and now when she is anxious we do the 1 2 3 game and after 5 rounds she is herself again. We can do those before training

Try getting a thread on there for support and guidance and sometimes just knowing you aren’t alone is a big help.

Most of her food now has to be earned by her which keeps her interested in training. If you are feeding yours normally it might be worth stopping that and measuring out the food and using it for training.

woodstocks
Your attitude is appalling.
So dreadful.

Ouch. But I agree. Actually most people shouldn't be allowed dogs, most people don't have the time tat is needed to properly care for them, and I'm horrified that some people keep them in crates that is just abuse.

None of the poo crosses I walk are very food motivated. What I found worked was doing training on a hungry empty stomach to increase the value of the treats and then feeding them afterwards.

To the PP saying dogs are only animals it's just a stupid thing to say. Humans are also 'only' animals - would you suggest it's not a big issue to get rid of one of them?

OP it's likely to be really traumatic for an anxious dog to be rehomed somewhere completely unfamiliar and be taken away from everything and everyone it knows. We had an anxious rescue and it took three months for him to even begin to settle - and he was one of a pair.

Try taking him out on a long lead very early in the morning when no one else is around and really putting the time into training him and lots of rewards and bonding. It's like having a toddler again - notice every time he does something good and comment/reward it and ignore all the bad behaviour and give no attention to it. Whenever the dog is going crazy you need to be very still and calm. It's also the same case with toddlers of repeat, repeat, repeat and expect it to take some time to sink in and behaviour to change. You read about this regression in behaviour during the teenage phase on here all the time.

If you're past the point though where you want to put the time, effort and consistency in though then it best you find a really good home for him.

Appalling, disgusting sentiment. Shame on you.

This is nonsense. From a behaviourist's point of view, behaviour modification should always be completed before an anxious dog is castrated, if they are to be neutered at all. Fortunately the op's vet is aware of this.

In many countries - such as the Nordic countries - dogs are rarely neutered and they don't have higher rates of unwanted puppies and dogs. Neutering is not a one size fits all procedure.

Honestly teenage dogs are d*ckheads 🤣. If he was a good puppy up until teenage months try and hold on because it will likely get better. Dogs are similar to kids in that they become moody, stubborn ar$eholes in those teenage months. You aren't alone ♥️

This may be true of Greece, but it is not in more progressive countries. There are countries who rarely neuter dogs. It is certainly not a niche view. Meta studies show that male dogs are healthier when left entire, as some health issues including cancers are increased by neutering. Female dogs have slightly better health when neutered, however when the effects of weight gain post-neutering are taken into account, they are also healthier when left entire. Fortunately nowadays more vets are becoming aware of this.

As the pp said responsible ownership is the key to reducing unwanted litters, not one size fits all neutering.

The guy who regrets the mix is an Australian , and it was labradoodles, they started the trend. We call them spoodles ( not cockerpoos) and they and groodles ( golden retriever /poodles) are everywhere! Not a good thing in my opinion. Too late now though.
OP , personally I would have him neutered, no idea this was controversial in the UK though, also get some of those calming treats from the pet store. Otherwise your vet can prescribe calming medication. And there is feliway ( dubious about that). TBH though he doesn't sound that bad, all our dogs bark when someone comes to the door, and we've had several escapes ( I get in the car drive until I find them , usually a block or so away, open the passenger door and they jump right in. Annoying but not the end of the world.
If walking is difficult right now - can you throw a ball or a frisbee in the backyard , or take him to a dogpark? Go when it's not too busy.
Full disclosure - we let our dogs on the lounge so that isn't a problem for us , ( and the beds!😳) we are pretty relaxed!

Your dog comes from two working breeds, bread for different types of work.

Cocker poo are needy and super intelligent. For example my poo played a board game yesterday involving recovering food, today no interest at all so much so there is still kibble to be seen and smelt by her.

These dogs are so clever it can go against them because they become over simulated by new signals, interests, and instructions.

It's not for me or anyone to have a knowledgeable judgement on rehoming your dog but if you're already doubting if it's the correct decision maybe learn more about the breed/cross breeds.

If you decide to re-home, then learn from your experience. No one is perfect but everyone judges

You too, are only an animal @Woodstocks.

If you call it ‘getting rid of’ then you don’t deserve the dog, which is a shame because it’s a terrible time to rehome and I have no doubts you will make no effort to find him a decent home.