Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then regretted it?

[AutismMum21]

PLEASE BE KIND.

I know these threads can bring out the worst in people so please don’t kick me when I’m down.

I have a 2 year old dog, had him since a pup. He was honestly the most well behaved puppy ever - crate trained from day one, no accidents inside unless unwell, never chewed or destroyed anything etc. However he has now regressed during his ‘teenage’ stage and is honestly a nightmare.

He doesn’t listen to a word you say, he is running out the front door into the road (he has a gate across the kitchen but has now started jumping this so pretty useless), he is lunging at every dog we see on walks to the point where I don’t want to walk him anymore, jumping all over the furniture, walls and guests whenever someone comes over.

He is a cross bread and a bit of a nightmare to train as of late because nothing motivates him anymore to actually listen to the command you’re giving him.

I’ve honestly got to the point where I’ve given up on him - I dread waking up to him every morning and it’s honestly the biggest shame because I used to absolutely adore that dog before this all started happening but he just triggers the entire household and it’s pushing me to breaking point, I feel mentally and physically unwell and drained.

Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then later on regretted it?

I really am starting to consider it as one of my options because of the toll it’s taking not only on me but the whole house but my biggest worry is once everything has settled down it would be the biggest mistake of my life getting rid of him…

I rehomed a super hyper Boston terrier. My son stopped walking her and I couldn't walk her far enough for her energy level. I couldn't let her off lead as she bolted so was very restricted in her exercise. After various solutions failing (hiring a trainer and a dog walker etc) we rehomed her.

She now lives on a farm. Genuinely, she's not dead 😂 I get updates regularly and she absolutely loves life and is the apple of her new owners eye.

She just was not suited to our home.

I now have another dog who is my heart and I live her so much. It worked out for everybody.

@AutismMum21 cockers are high energy working dogs prone to resource guarding and anxiety. Poodles are high energy dogs prone to anxiety. You are crossing 2 high energy, anxious breeds and expecting to get a low energy dog?
What training have you done around scentwork/retrieval/gundog training?

Age 2 are the teen years for dogs and the most common age for rehoming. Do you follow the trainers advice at home? Reward based training? Does the dog have their own space to retreat to? Games that are aimed at that breed? If you can survive the teen years, it will only get better but you need to be prepared to put the work in.

Are you praising exactly the right moment/behaviour and not just after? Are you praising calmly?

OP, just trying to understand the timeline: you say here that he had “really bad anxiety” when you first had him. And at 1 year old he still had bad enough anxiety that your vet wouldn’t neuter.
He’s 2 years old now and presumably his behaviour has been bad for a while. So when/for how long did he not have anxiety? Because from your description it sounds as if he’s always had it and still does now?

@twistyizzy it’s not something I have looked into and I don’t know how he would respond to it - he is quite a sensitive dog because of his background but it’s something I can look into for sure if it’ll help.

@defi I think the mental stimulation probably could be better within the household so it’s something I’ll look into, it’s something that has fallen short because of how stressed the house has been with it all.

@needastrongoneagain thats a good point, I could definitely try giving the praise and treat sooner and seeing if that helps

Then make him work for it!! Hide the chicken, wrap it in a toilet roll, hide it in a bush, big encouragement etc.

I honestly don't get what's wrong with either a springer or a cocker spaniel without adding in a poodle other than looks. And then I think why breed that other than money - sorry OP, not a dig at you but pisses me off!

@Aftersunbun so he came from an awful breeder (that’s just a whole story within itself) and I suspect he was abused by that breeder, that’s why I took him in when I found him in the condition he was in. His anxiety was mainly around being left and if he saw any man he would literally wee and poo out of fear, scared of his toys etc. really awful stuff.

His confidence now is completely different in the sense that he is no longer scared of those things and he was getting better at being left alone etc.

He is still really confident in a lot of ways but he has started really acting up when being left alone again which did improve for a period of time before.

Hope I’ve explained that okay!

“is only an animal at the end of the day”

no-one with this sort of attitude should have a pet.

@AutismMum21 you need to look at the breeds that have made your dog and treat accordingly. Anxiety can be due to boredom, correct scehtwork/retrieval work will help calm the dog as it allows them to do what they were made to do.
If the household is stressed then this will impact on the behaviour of the dog. As I said previously you have a mongrel which has been bred from 2 high energy breeds prone to anxiety
I wish cockapoos would stop being sold as being good family pets.

@AutismMum21 you need to look at the breeds that have made your dog and treat accordingly. Anxiety can be due to boredom, correct scehtwork/retrieval work will help calm the dog as it allows them to do what they were made to do.
If the household is stressed then this will impact on the behaviour of the dog. As I said previously you have a mongrel which has been bred from 2 high energy breeds prone to anxiety
I wish cockapoos would stop being sold as being good family pets.

But sounds like his first year wasn't easy, and that's tough for a dog. Sorry OP, maybe more of a reason to give it a try if you can? 😊

It sounds like you have done a lot more good than you give yourself credit for!

I think you should say what training youve done to get better advice.

But generally i do wonder when people rehome difficult dogs why they think someone else could or should take on a dog that the first owner failed?

I agree with this having volunteered at a rehoming centre and having a rehomed/rescue dog. Everyone should think very very carefully before getting a pet (not saying you didn't OP), but sometimes circumstances change. It is far better that an animal is given up to a responsible rehoming charity than leads a miserable life where its needs are not met. Please don't think I'm saying pets are disposable, they're not and it does make me angry that some people don't really think through getting a pet (again not saying this is you OP) but I think sometimes rehoming is unavoidable and I take a pragmatic approach that sometimes it really is in the animals best interests.

This absolutely. I'm sorry but I see so many 2 year old cockerpoos in rescue.

It's a cross of 2 working breeds, not a teddy bear. Would you have got a working cocker?

Well you got one.

^^that was grumpy I know but I'm so tired of people being surprised when cockerpoos turn out like this. They are kind of bred to be like this.

I will come back with some useful advice. I am a foster for a rescue and can proa sly help you decide what to do to make sure he can find a good home.

Book an appointment with your vet. There is no reason for a dog to be anxious these days - I've got a very highly sensitive sprocker. Our vet was great and recommended a great behaviourist who we had 3 sessions with, mainly on how to manage her anxiety at home and when out. She's on a mix of natural calming tablets with pro-biotics and these work well but for holidays/long trips, we get meds from the Vet so we avoid her reaching danger levels. She's on a low protein food, and we walk avoiding other dogs as much as we can with her on a long line which for some reason helps her feel secure. It's not a personal attack on you OP but whatever idiot thought of mixing cockers and poodles should have been shot - they may look cute and not shed hair, but the ones I've met have been madder than boxes of frogs. And get him neutered - hormones won't be helping the adolescence.

I would try absolutely everything before you reach that decision.

I rehomed a dog once and never regretted it.

Have you considered chemical castration? You can see how he responds and if it doesn't help or makes him worse, it's not permanent like a full neuter.

But ultimately I don't think there's anything wrong with re-homing if you're both miserable. Much better than keeping the dog in a home that's not suiting him. Don't let people make you feel guilty.

Not sure whether it was on mn or elsewhere, but I read about a dog recently whose personality changed. Turned out he had arthritis and that was causing the problems. Once he started medicines, the situation improved.

Have you taken him to the vet and got him checked out?

It's his adolescent phase. They all have it and it's very very trying. Separating him from his cherries should sort the aggression but the rest he will grow out of. By the time they hit 4 they've usually turned back into a well behaved citizen.

You say he isn’t a lockdown dog OP yet you bought him from this abusive breeder in 2021, height of lockdowns.
I hope you don’t buy anymore dogs.
If you really don’t want him why not ask your friends, family or neighbours. I hope you don’t dump him on a rescue as they are overwhelmed.

Also it appears you haven’t bothered to neuter him.

Were you hoping to breed him?

In the last week my almost 2 year old rescue dog has peed in the house (this morning for the first time ever) rolled in a dead rat... twice (honestly the smell you can't imagine). Managed to find his way into the cats food and eaten packets of treats whole where he's pooped out the packets and has now become barky where he never usually is. He's going through a teenage phase (big dogs mature slower) and I know he will come out of it but I know it's not over and up to me and my family to manage. My 3 year old now perfect girl spent her first 18 months torturing me and my partner to the point we would come to blows over it. Honestly we would have re homed my rescue if we hadn't have had the best trainer (I do believe not all trainers are created equal) and even sent them messages basically saying 'we are worried we will have to rehome him, we can't take it anymore' so I completely understand being where you are. Only you can make the decision on when you are at your limit and how much is too much but I'm so glad we didn't rehome him. My advice would be stick to certain rules and don't keep chopping and changing, dogs thrive on knowing what is expected. Our rescue dog kept jumping his pen so we made it so he couldn't, get inventive. If he barks ignore it or use distraction techniques, dogs really are a long game thing and will change as they age. You do have my sympathies though, it's not easy.

Thank you for all of the helpful responses and advice to follow - I will definitely be taking them all on board!

I will definitely check in with the vet firstly to see if it’s pain or illness making him this way and secondly to see if they suggest any medication or supplements.

@GreekDogRescue it also appears that you haven’t read the whole thread properly or you’d know the reasoning for not having him neutered as of yet