Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then regretted it?

[AutismMum21]

PLEASE BE KIND.

I know these threads can bring out the worst in people so please don’t kick me when I’m down.

I have a 2 year old dog, had him since a pup. He was honestly the most well behaved puppy ever - crate trained from day one, no accidents inside unless unwell, never chewed or destroyed anything etc. However he has now regressed during his ‘teenage’ stage and is honestly a nightmare.

He doesn’t listen to a word you say, he is running out the front door into the road (he has a gate across the kitchen but has now started jumping this so pretty useless), he is lunging at every dog we see on walks to the point where I don’t want to walk him anymore, jumping all over the furniture, walls and guests whenever someone comes over.

He is a cross bread and a bit of a nightmare to train as of late because nothing motivates him anymore to actually listen to the command you’re giving him.

I’ve honestly got to the point where I’ve given up on him - I dread waking up to him every morning and it’s honestly the biggest shame because I used to absolutely adore that dog before this all started happening but he just triggers the entire household and it’s pushing me to breaking point, I feel mentally and physically unwell and drained.

Has anyone ever got rid of a dog and then later on regretted it?

I really am starting to consider it as one of my options because of the toll it’s taking not only on me but the whole house but my biggest worry is once everything has settled down it would be the biggest mistake of my life getting rid of him…

I stupidly brought a puppy without properly thinking it through, I didn’t think about the commitment at all. I have to be honest I just thought “aw puppies” and brought one.

He was really well trained for a couple of years, then when DD was born he became jealous and naughty. He would go outside to the toilet, have a wee.. scratch to come back in, then poo on the floor and eat it. After a few months we still couldn’t stop him eating his poo, even when he did it outside he would immediately eat it. Vet gave us a different food to try to it didn’t help. DD started crawling and moving more and the dog started taking more interest in her, but it meant he was always trying to lick her hands and face and I couldn’t cope with that at that point. I was too scared she would catch something nasty or go blind.

DH suggested shutting the dog away while DD was on the floor but that’s seemed like the dog was being shut away for more time than he was out and it wasn’t fair on him at all.

So we rehomed him to a family member who doesn’t have children and had two other dogs of the same breed. He loves life there and we definitely made the right decision for us as a family.

It does mean however, that we have put a complete ban on pets in our home. I don’t feel like I am responsible enough to own a pet and give them a permanent loving home. I would hate myself if we allowed ourselves to have a pet and rehome it again at no fault of its own. So we’re a no pet household.

@HeadsShouldersTitsandArse You sound caring and sensible (notwithstanding the initial ‘aw puppy’). You clearly thought about what was best for your dog.

Hi op,
Could he be suffering from something called red cocker syndrom I believe it was, has that been checked? The bad breeder you say he came from, perhaps they didn't care about prevention, genetic problems etc.

I have a Sproodle (working springer x poodle). The entire litter are utterly bonkers (breeder is a friend of mine and majority of pups went to people we know). I also have another working line breed.

The problem with this cross is that you're breeding 2 high energy, anxious, working dogs together. If you don't give them the right outlet, they become feral.

Mental stimulation and work is far more important than physical exercise. If you give too much physical exercise, especially unstructured, you create an adrenalin junkie that just won't let up.

• change your walking route. Dogs, especially entire males, get so much enrichment from different walks each day. Can just be changing direction when you leave your house, walk a street that you wouldn't normally. Let him use his nose and sniff until he moves on from that place. This helps to knacker their brain out
• patience is key. They are clowns! Make sure the dog is leashed and ask for A command. Stay neutral and wait until the dog gives the behaviour you're asking for. Then calmly praise (treat ideally without saying anything. They feed off the usual 'training pitch' voice)
• give your dog a long lasting natural chew in the house (different ones each time to keep it interesting) in a place they can relax (no chaos, limited foot traffic etc)
• get him 'working'. Lots of sniff games (a handful of treats thrown in grass is quick and easy) and a 'find it' command. Hide treats in cardboard boxes with ripped up paper. Use small bits of treats so they're not easy to find
• crate train if you've not done so already. It's a safe and comforting space for your dog to unwind
• have a routine and stick to it (meal times, walk time, bed time etc). Like kids, they thrive off routine
• no unstructured off lead time. Don't just let your dog off to run wild or constantly be throwing a ball. Have a long line if they're likely to bugger off when the lead comes off. Practice recall/ heel/ sit/ down etc and use the long line to reinforce the command. Only when calm and listening should you be letting off the lead, if at all

The teen years are the hardest for any dog. My first had me in tears daily and is dog reactive on lead, my 2nd (the Sproodle) was an angel from day 1 and then went off the rails at just over a year old. They're now nearly 4 and 2.5 and are the loveliest dogs, as long as I'm providing them with the right outlet for the situation.

A gundog trainer is your best bet when it comes to a professional. They understand both breeds and the different drives they have. Your bog standard trainer can teach the very basics, but a gundog trainer will be able to help with breed specifics.

Dogs aren't shaped overnight, it takes a long time to see the rewards of your training. It's taken me nearly 2 years to see small positive changes in my first dog with his reactivity, it will always be a work in progress! Once you've tried all the above and a suitable trainer for 6 months to a year, then consider rehoming if things aren't any better.

You may not be the right household for this dog. Busy families don't tend to mix well with this cross breed unless there's already very well established training and the dog is out of their teens before the environment becomes overstimulating with noise/ kids etc

Cocker rage (or rage syndrome) is very rare, very obvious and very dangerous. Nothing OP has said indicates that this dog has it.

It also can't be tested for. By its nature, it's sudden and unpredictable and by the time you got to a vet, the dog would have snapped out of the episode (usually lasts for seconds).

Thank you for all the advice - I spent all yesterday researching some options that stemmed from what people had recommended on here.

I think I have a plan in place however the big issue is I genuinely think I need a couple of days away from the dog to be in the right place mentally to be able to start it - I feel so dysregulated at the moment because it’s been so constant that I’m completely burning out and nothing productive is going to come out of that.

I don’t think any family could take him because one household works all day and the other household has other animals that doesn’t mix well with dogs.

He does have a dog walker but I don’t know if she boards and I don’t know if anyone else would take him in boarding with all the issues that he has…

Has anyone got any ideas of how to work around this please?

Dog sitter and doggy day care are options.

I do a bit of dog sitting and know lots of people that do it professionally - lots will have the dog with them in their home for days/weeks

I think you've built up your dogs issues to be worse than they are - what I mean is that a professional dog sitter would not find them as much as a challenge.

I dog sit for a friends Parsons Jack Russel and he really is a little sod but he's good as good for me because I'm used to it and not at all phased by it.

I'm sure you'd find a good local one who'd take him for a few days.

I'd find a teenage cockerpoo quite straightforward in comparison- and so would most professional dog people. Just because we deal with a hell of a lot worse.

I'd go down that route to get some head space. It might even reassure you that he's not that bad. .

@Shannith that makes a lot of sense and you’re right - in the grand scheme of things he probably isn’t as bad as some other dogs but because I’m so completely overwhelmed by it, it might just feel 100x worse.

Regarding a dog sitter, I mean do I literally ring them up and be honest about the situation? Because that seems like an incredibly cheeky thing to do - basically saying I can’t cope with my dog so now I’m going to pass all these issues onto you sort of thing…

Brilliant advice. Treat him like the working breed x he is - cocker and poodle - and manage/train him according to the breed drive - do all the things suggested above and I swear you'd have a totally different dog in 6 months (also he'll have grown out of the teenage phase)

Try a good kennels. I had/ have an ASBO dog and i would have gone insane without a lovely local kennel taking him occassionally so i could have a weekend to myself. They are more likely to cope with an unruly dog than a house boarder

dogs can alter during their teenage years, but to the amount you speak of seems odd. I would get him checked over by the vet to make sure he is healthy if his behaviour has changed so much.
if you’ve spent the time training him & he has the basics then it will be easier to iron this out.
Neutering doesn’t always help a behaviour issue, and can make it worse. You could try the chemical option which is temporary, if it helps then you can then look at the more permanent option.

dogs can play up when they’re bored, if you have less time for him walks are not the only way to tire a dog out. Try a stuffed kong, a lick mat, feed him his food on a snuffle mat. Scatter treats in a towel and tie it in knots. All of these will give him something to do. Hide treats in the house and get him to find them. Make him work for his dinner.
walking is great, but dogs need mental stimulation too. 20 mins playing scent games is as tiring as an hour walk.

I would speak to a qualified dog trainer and get some classes booked. Look at clicker training. If he isn’t food motivated or food doesn’t work as a reward, find a toy. He may respond better to that.

dogs are hard work, but they shouldn’t be making your life this difficult.

if you really want to re home him, I’d still suggest getting a handle on his behaviour, this will ensure he has a better chance of finding a new home, rather than someone who sees he’s cute, but can’t handle him. He needs some rules, guidance and to know what’s expected of him, a good trainer will help with that.

@AutismMum21 you absolutely can do that.

Do you have any local dog Facebook group? I mean things called xxxxx town.village/area dogs?

Ask for dog sitter recommendations in there.

Get persona recommendations and you could just say you are going away for a few days and give a run down of his character/behaviours.

Honestly if you just said 2 year old unneutered male cockerpoo, going through teenage phase, lockdown dog, novice owner I'd know exactly what dog would turn up and how to accommodate them.

When you list or what he actually does

No recall - fine, he'll stay on lead
Doesn't listen - fairly standard
Run out of open door- ditto. Also most people hlw dog sit have a door between the main house and front door and a strict routine about when these are opened
Bit full on - again, fairly standard
Reactive - again, it's a thing not a huge issue

It's all fairly normal stuff. I've fostered/dog Sat dogs that had really behavioural issues - not just teenage nonsense and it would n't hotter me at all.

Sorry fat finger spelling.

As PP said also kennels are an option. I am looking after a female (spayed) 2 year old cockerpoo) this summer for a few weeks.

She did a test night with me last month. Her owners are first time dog owners and she came with a whole load of stuff and big list of issues (teenager).

She was absolutely fine. Bit skittish but not a problem. Lovely little dog, just needed a few gentle boundaries and plenty of brain games. To them she's a mental tear away, to me she's a sweetheart - just a bit cockerpoo.

We had to re-start the training when our first dogs hit 2, they'd been angels up til then. Didn't take long, but there were 2 of us, no dc. Teenage dogs can be very challenging and if you think re-homing is the right thing to do, then go for it. In future, maybe consider an older, more established dog, not a puppy.

My other is a working Parsons (must have been something not right with my train of thought the days I got them 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣). Jesus, he knows every button to press and exactly when to press it!! My first dog trainer turned us away because he was so unruly (even when I ugly cried and begged 🤣) and told me the only breeds she would never own was Parsons and German Shepherds!! We found a trainer who understood the breed and it changed our lives and relationship!

OP definitely look into a dog sitter. Even 1 night away can make all the difference! It's likely, just given the breed personalities, that he's playing up more because he can sense tension and anxiety is heightened. That doesn't help you or him. What area are you in? There may be someone on here who can help/ make a recommendation 😊

Thank you everyone - I’ve come to an agreement with the daycare person he attends - he is going to go several times a week now instead of once a week for the next month just to firstly knacker him out a bit more as he is more well behaved on that day every week when he gets back and also to give me a bit more breathing space for the next couple of weeks. I do everything from home so he is around me 24/7. I’m hoping the bit more time to myself and him time away from the stressful home environment at the moment will help put us in a better place for training etc

Well done OP. x

Good luck opHope you get the headspace, time, and perspective you need.

Practically speaking, what would be achieved by rehoming him? Is there a training/behaviour avenue that you think you could be explored in someone else’s care? And if so, couldn’t you do that yourself?

Is it just a case of wanting him to be someone else’s problem?

OP, once you've had your period of respite from him, would you be able to go off somewhere rural, remote and very quiet (without livestock) just you and the dog for a few days and see how he gets on with you? If it's an illness he'll probably be the same as now but if it's a case of him being overwhelmed and overstimulated, he might be more responsive to you in what might be for him a less overwhelming environment. It doesn't necessarily solve the problem but it could tell you what he needs.

Dogs behaving badly show are looking for new contestants so might be worth a try.

I haven’t had my dog neutered but it isn’t because I couldn’t be bothered. He’s a slow maturing breed and many people choose not have them neutered until after full maturity. Also, neutering a dog experiencing anxiety or aggression can actually make things worse.

I would avoid him & his show like the plague, he uses aversives & is not a good dog trainer!

@justaboutdonenow what's up with Graham?

I've already said it- he uses aversives, & he forces dogs into situations where they display fear.

I don't subscribe to frightening animals to the point where they suppress their emotions to comply.