the petition going round about dads in hospitals

[strawberryswizzler]

just me who is absolutely against this idea? i’ve had 2 c-sections. one emergency, one elective. could barely sit myself up to feed my baby nevermind walk properly etc, i felt so vulnerable. the thought of being in a 4 bed bay separated only by curtains with random men who could be anyone makes me feel ill. anyone else??

I am in agreement with a separate area with bays for women who want to be completely away from men in post-natal ie no male visitors at any time.

There would still be males around when en route to the toilet but that should be the only time males (other than HCPs) are encountered.

No, no , no to men! Why doesn’t the NHS have a volunteer drive? With the right screening and checks I’m sure there would be some lovely ladies willing to volunteer on maternity wards. Just offering another friendly pair of hands. In 1988 I woke up at 8am after a really long exhausting labour to be told I had missed breakfast! A cup of tea and a piece of toast would have been so lovely. I would volunteer for this!

This is a good idea in principle and i’d do it if I didn’t work.

But I don’t think you’d get many volunteers for the night shift.

That's fucking vile.

Exactly. That's what makes it so unique from other surgeries and why it can't be compared to other surgeries or hospital wards.

When I went into hospital to have my broken nose fixed under GA, I didn’t need help there BECAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE A BABY TO LOOK AFTER.

Funny that.

It's not something I'd want personally. I felt awkward enough with the midwives in and out of my area, I wouldn't want other strange women popping in and out too.

Honestly, it will be impossible to please everyone. I think the closest solution to make everyone happy would be a female only ward and a ward which allows fathers to stay at night.

I also thought wards could be fined for mixing the sexes, this sort of policy seems very at odds with that.

Are you willing to pay the additional taxes for this? Extra buildings, Staff, Equipment? all within easy access to emergency facilities for both baby and mother & increase migration to allow more overseas midwives all from the 3rd world, so you can have your desire?

I guess their mums to be don't matter.

MariaVT65

Rude.

I had twins and surgery - managed perfectly fine on my own.

Didn’t need a partner ‘changing a nappy’ or fetching a bottle.

I didn’t need other men in the ward being loud and annoying.

The entitlement in this thread from woman who feel lost without their partner is quite astounding and I have hopefully raised my daughters to be strong and independent. Woman used to be in hospital for a couple of weeks ready - pity that’s been lost.

One night in an over crowed bay with other woman’s husbands is enough for us all the check out extremely quickly! Maybe this is the NHS plan to free up beds?

Why should Mens rights trump woman’s rights to peace and quiet after surgery? I’m sure the babies would be more settled in a quieter environment and nurses wouldn’t have to put up with the abuse.

I can not understand why women keep having children in circumstances like this. No thanks to no dignity and consideration after just giving birth.

I am totally against men overnight on female hospital wards. People had to manage before this bizarre custom was introduced. I wonder if it's the norm in other countries. I expect not. They have more sense.

I'd be more than willing to pay additional taxes to fund the NHS properly including extra buildings, staff, equipment etc. If this happened and midwives and other staff weren't so underpaid and overworked, more would want to become midwives and there wouldn't be such a shortage.

Unfortunately, the Tories don't give a shit about the NHS.

I'd be happy to pay far more taxes for this and anyone migrating I'd doing it of their own free will, if anything very happy to do so. It's a disgrace more isn't spent on this fundamental basic thing, that literally everyone experiences

I believe other countries such as USA, the majority of Europe etc all have private rooms for their mothers. This means that fathers can stay at night with little to no issues.

Shared wards after giving birth seems to be very much a UK thing.

Please explain to me when you were still numb and bed-confined from anaesthetic, how did you change nappies etc. Genuinely I’d be interested to know how you got on.

The time you’re talking about also had more staff to help women.

The entitlement in this thread from woman who feel lost without their partner is quite astounding and I have hopefully raised my daughters to be strong and independent.

That's the point. I was strong and independent until I had surgery and a newborn to look after while I could barely move and was becoming more and more mentally unwell. I wasn't strong. I was failing at being independent. And I and the many women who go through similar each year do not deserve to be told they are "entitled" for needing support.

Exactly this.

My NHS maternity dept has a private wing attached. People who demand this should pay for a private room in there. It's not fair on the rest of the bay to have overnight visitors. Also, it's likely only a night or 2, why arrive home with both of you already exhausted. If Dad has had some sleep he can be ready to step right up upon discharge.

I think allowing a female support person would be good. Just not men overnight.

Right so you can only get the support you need if you pay for it? So everyone else struggling - screw them just let their mental health rot. Is that what you want?

Thank you. It’s like that poster doesn’t think strong women are allowed help when they go through enexpected traumatic experiences.

I wouldn't have had a female support person available. The only people I'd have wanted to see me in that state were my mum who would have made it worse as I'd have felt infantalised and my sister who was looking after her own child. As it was I had to do it all alone due to covid anyway.

Also, it's likely only a night or 2, why arrive home with both of you already exhausted.

Because it is his baby too? He should be stepping up right away if possible, especially during those first moments when women have likely been in labour for hours upon hours and are already exhausted and that's without c-sections and other complications.