Do you get on with your SILs?

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

Just curious if people do?

I have 3 SILs married to my brothers (well one engaged).
I don't live close to any of them so not super close but I like them all. Just nice people, good company and I catch up with them when I'm back home and I seem them plenty even if my brothers are not around. We occasionally call/text but not regularly.

My partner's two sisters are completely indifferent to me. They aren't rude or unkind, they just make zero effort to even talk to me. If I talk to them, I get very little back. Partner just says we are very different types of people and they aren't as sociable. They are very sociable with everyone but me!

Just wondering how others get on?

Yes, I'm very lucky. I have two - one married to my brother, and I have my DH's sister.

I don't live near either SIL, but when we do meet we get on well. Both are nice, kind women.

I have a BIL and a SIL. BIL (DH's brother) is a fun guy to spend a night out with, but we don't have a lot in common at a deeper level. I find SIL (my brother's wife) quite "prickly" and difficult to get on with.

I have 6!
3 of them I’m really close to and go on holidays with just them, lovely people.
1 lives on the other side of the world and if she didn’t we would be very close. We FaceTime once a month or so, I miss her and her kids!
1 is quite isolated (made the decision herself) but I always make the effort to see her when she’s local and if I’m working in her city I’ll offer a drink/catch up. She takes me up on it probably half of the times.
the last one - always amicable and get on fine at family events but essentially if she wasn’t the mother to my niece and nephew and split up with her husband (dbro) I doubt I’d ever see her again. We are just very different people.

How old are they compared to you op?
Yes get on very well with sil, didn’t hugely at first, probably from both sides (ie me and her) but now can chat away. Wouldn’t make plans to do stuff together but when around each other get on very well

Not really, she is 20 years younger than me (half sister) clearly the favourite and we have nothing in common.

I have 4 SILs - DHs sisters and his bro’s wife are similar ages to me and we get on well. None of them live close by, but we txt and WhatsApp. I actually get on best with the child free SIL. We like the same things. Sadly, we can’t stay over at her house because they have indoor Persian cats and I’m very allergic.

My other SIL is my late bro’s wife. She’s great, much older than me as was my bro. My step nephews are mid to late 40s with experiences of life and uni a bit closer to mine. For context, my SIL went to uni when I was still at primary in the 70s. Sometimes it’s a kinda youngish auntie relationship. But I really love her and we’ve bonded even more since I lost my bro, with whom I was very close.

I have two - one is DH's sister and the other is my DB's wife. They both have the same name!! One is a very jealous type which has filtered through to her children and have watched them grow up into adults both in very responsible jobs but still show childish bouts of jealousy. The other is twelve years older than me and has led a very strange life - flitting up and down the country quite often disappearing without family knowing where she has gone to - has five kids all to first ex-DH and lost count of how many GCs and great GCs she has now. Married four times I think - twice to her second Ex-DH - now married to lovely guy but she is now in palliative care and in and out of hospital.
See both SILs at various family functions or funerals and that is pretty much it. But they both live quite a few hundred miles away so not likely to run into either of them that often. But we do get on when we see each other.

I have one SIL (DH’s sister) and I don’t think she dislikes me, but she also has no time for me. I think because she has so many kids so is always busy, she just can’t be arsed to make an effort with me. Although she only had 1 DC when we met and she didn’t make any effort with me then either. She’s civil when we see each other but it goes no further than that. I was disappointed at first as I have no siblings of my own, but TBF she’s probably not that kind of person I would choose to be friends with if we weren’t in-laws. She also makes no effort with my DC which I think I find more disappointing than anything.

Brothers wife- wonderful, get on with her well but aren't super similar. Love her loads and she brings out the best in DBro.

Husbands sister - always welcoming, chatty, we are different again as from vastly different backgrounds but she is easy to talk to and cares a lot about our family. I do love her, but it's more complicated - she is still on survival mode from her childhood, whereas DH is out the other side and very relaxed, fun and outgoing. I have felt a nice shift over the years where she asks me more questions back and engages deeper in conversation. Her and DH are not close but are getting there.

One is ok but never see her , the other three I have nothing to with highly toxic .

Nope!

I don't wish harm on them or anything like that, but none of them are my cup of tea nor I theirs

I have three SIL’s, two are DH’s sisters and the other one is married to his brother.

They’re all nice people, but I’ve only lived close to his elder sister for a few years and then she moved away, so I don’t know any of them really well. I can definitely get on with all of them when we see each other at family dos or Christmas, but I think that I could only turn to his younger sister if, for example, we had a family crisis (such as DH getting ill). The other two would send sympathetic texts and that’s about it.

Once DH’s parents pass away, the siblings will stay in touch but I’m not sure how much effort we’ll make to actually see each other-although we’d be fine if anyone wanted to visit.

The only family member I don’t get on with is a BIL (married to one of the sisters). He’s not nasty, but he’s got some odd ideas and neither DH nor I want him influencing our DC.

My brothers wife, yes, she’s lovely and so kind and fun and intelligent and puts up with my brother- wish she lived closer. She’s just so lovely. Wish I was more like her in that respect.

My other SiL has made it very clear I’m not important enough to be interesting. I’m only sad my kids haven’t been allowed to know their cousins.

I love them all dearly. They're genuinely fabulous women, as was his mum. They're all strong, intelligent, funny women and I'm lucky to have them in my life.

Same. I get on v well with db's partner but struggle to make conversation with dh's sister. Just have loads in common with one and not the other. Dh's sister is pretty introverted and difficult to connect to and that's just the way it is.

I get along well with all 6 of my SILs. Two married to my brothers, and DH's four sisters. I'm lucky; they are all lovely women.

Just have the one-DH’s sister. He has been pretty low contact with her since they’ve been adults.

She only really bothered with him when she wanted to borrow money (which she did always repay) and she wasn’t that nice to him when they were kids. Not abusive or anything, just a bit unpleasant.

He and I did give it a go with her and her DH (who is very nice) when we first got serious but then she got really pushy and nosy about whether we were trying for kids or not so I started putting a bit of distance there.

She got very stroppy in the run up to the wedding to, trying to dictate some of our choices. She also wanted to borrow money again and he said no as we’d just bought a house and we’re paying for the wedding too.

She’s been pretty rude a few times at family things since so I give her a very wide berth. I’m sure I get the blame but all and sundry for “stealing her brother”.

she does a fine line in passive, aggressive Christmas presents which usual end up at the local charity shop.

My SIL to my first husband was like my sister and best friend all in one but once my marriage broke down it was difficult to maintain the level of closeness. MY SIL to my new husband, no. She’s selfish, self-centred and not someone I can gel with. I tried really hard at the outset but I’ve given up now. My brothers partner, no. Again, we are poles apart and she’s just bat shit crazy. It possibly came to a head throughout Covid when she spent all her time telling my mum that Covid was fake and all media hype. She wouldn’t listen to me even though I work in health care and was working during Covid, dealing with deaths on a daily basis. We’ve been together tonight and she’s been lecturing me about why I shouldn’t be taking HRT and putting poisons in my body. She’s saying all this with her inflated lips and filler!

I miss my old SIL!

2 SIL through DH. One we see every 5-6 years and have little to no contact with in between times. The other I message every couple of months and we see about once a year. DH is not close to his family. It’s amicable when we meet up though.

No. They aren't nice people.

My sil is very nice and I get along well with her. She’s a nice aunty to my kids, as I am to hers. Shes a lovely wife to my db and we enjoy meeting up.

my other sil, I’ve only really met her once as she’s my bil’s wife and he’s someone who creates problems and arguments out of nothing. I therefore steer clear of bil/sil. PILs were good people, but they’re dead now so it’s pretty easy to keep out of bil’s drama. I do feel sorry for that sil, being married to bil.

I have three SIL, I adore my brothers wives. I do not see them that often, one is in America and the other is on the south coast and we are up North.

My DH sister is another kettle of fish, she resents me taking away her playmate He was single till he met me with just one short relationship, he was almost 30 and she had a few casual short ones so they used to holiday together, he took her as his plus one to things. I came along and became his plus one. She has made many a spiteful remark over the years, quite subtle ones.

My DB’s wife is one of my favourite people. She’s way too good for my DB and definitely the best thing that has ever happened to him.

DH has two married brothers. We’ve never met one of the wives (they live on the other side of the world) and I’ve tried really hard with the other one but we’re nearly two decades in and I’m still searching for any sign of a bit of personality. She just sits there. So we’re polite, but that’s as far as it goes. We’ve never actually had a conversation.

One of my 3 SILs is exactly like this. She has a ‘tipping point’ where she’s drunk just that bit too much and it’s all down hill from then on in. She changes from being friendly and sociable to being argumentative and drunk. It’s embarrassing and hard work. It has ruined many a family occasion.

One of my other SILs is nuts in a different way. She’s highly controlling of her children and her husband and tries to be that way with the rest of the extended family including my children! It’s bizarre behaviour. I can only be in her company for short periods of time.

My other SIL is lovely.

I do my best to make small talk, but it is difficult. We have nothing in common other than being married into the same family and both being mothers. We don’t parent the same way, we have differing belief systems on every measure, enjoy different hobbies, and just socialize differently. DH and his brother are radically different people so it is not surprising they married radically different women.