daughter was asked to leave homebase because she's under 18?

[whatisgoingonitw]

My daughter and her friend (both 15) went shopping yesterday and nipped into Homebase as my daughter wanted a plant and her friend wanted a heated blanket. They were approached by a member of staff who said “what age are you both you don’t look old enough to be in here” they replied 15. The member of staff asked them to leave as you need to be 18 to shop. My daughter is very straight forward and says how it is, she told the member of staff no as that is not true. The girls continued to walk around the store and they were followed by this lady who works there. They got to the till and paid with no issues the employee at the till didn’t mention age. My daughter told me this when she got home and explained the employee was rude and followed them around the store as well as giving them “dirty looks” I rung the store today to speak to a manager as that customer service is not okay. He told me you do infact need to be with an adult 18+ to shop. Is this serious? I can’t find anything on the website.

God you sound awful.

I quite often see teens in gangs drinking cider, sniffing glue and menacing passers-by with trowels. It’s the weapon of choice round here. Along with paint rollers.

It’s a plant for goodness sake, hardly life or death! So what if you have to go to multiple shops to find something? In everyday life that’s common practice. A plant isn’t an essential or something worth getting worked up over

I think your daughter was very rude. It’s quite obvious why she’d need to be an adult, not an unaccompanied child in a DIY store!!
if they have a policy, that’s all there is to it.

I’d be teaching my daughter how to respect people. What a delight she must be.

This is a bit embarrassing for you! That bit you’ve highlighted is regarding purchase through the website 🫢

As for ‘answering back’? Would you use that phrase to describe a perfectly reasonable reply you gave to an assistant? Or is it “answering back “ because a teenage girl should just silently accept any old bullshit told to her?

Maybe your teen and friends look older than they are.

Or OP's DD and friend look very young.

Either way, the shop's policy is apparently no under-18's. There are many other shops. They can use them.

"Burnt out?". What is that supposed to mean?

I appreciate that "if you've met one person with autism you've met one person with autism", but automatically assuming that people with autism are totally unable to learn any social skills, so should be excused for being rude and/or lazy is unfair to them.

Why is being asked to leave a shop “any old bullshit”?

The kid wasn’t being insulted or assaulted. Why the aggression about this?

Aggression?

It is bullshit if it’s an entirely fictional policy 🤷‍♀️Which I think we’ve established it is.

I’d consider being asked to leave a shop for no good reason a prime instance of ‘bullshit’. Wouldn’t you?

Autism burnout is very common in autistic people, women especially, who feel they have to constantly hide their true selves to fit in with societal expectations of acceptable behaviour. Of course we can learn social skills but if they do not come naturally the stress of keeping up the mask is immense. I've seen it compared to being at a job interview 24/7 for the rest of your life, it's not sustainable. And of course not all autistic people are capable of masking, which is why they refer to low and high masking autism now, instead of low and high functioning.

It seems to me that OP's daughter was acting like an entitled little mare who would cause more trouble to physically eject from the store if she refused to leave, and that that was why the assistant followed her round (for her own safety) and she was able to pay for her purchases and leave.

It just seems as though if you expect basic courtesy towards retail staff trying to do the job they are paid for (when OP rang the store, the shop manager confirmed the "under-18" policy), it brings out all the "over-officious jobsworth" comments. It's just part of the landscape of casual, endemic entitlement, I guess.

It isn't a policy though. The person in the shop was wrong, and so was the manager.

The only person who appeared to understand their own rules was the person on the cash desk.

Thank you.

It's not a matter of "hiding her true self". It's a matter of learning how to act in a manner which doesn't upset other people. Harder work for those who are on the spectrum, but not impossible for most. It's just that many seem to use their condition as an excuse.

It's learning good manners.

It’s not a fictional policy. The member of staff said it and the manager confirmed it. All of this checking with head office is so pointless. The manager does what s/he thinks right.

Even if it was a ‘fictional’ policy, so what?

And no, if I were asked to leave a shop because I’m too young (I wish!) I wouldn’t consider it “bullshit”. I got ID’d in the US many years ago when I was over 30. So what?

If I was wrongly accused of stealing or being aggressive to staff I’d protest. But that’s not the case here, is it?

It seems to me that OP's daughter was acting like an entitled little mare who would cause more trouble to physically eject from the store

An "entitled little mare". Does that only apply to teenage girls who stand for up for themselves?

Or do you think it unacceptable for teenage boys to have opinions.

And at what age are you allowed to have opinions and stand up for yourself?

There is no evidence that the OP's dd was rude, entitled, or a little mare.

This thread is quite eye-opening, for the ageism, sexism and deferral to some sort of perceived authority.

It’s not a fictional policy. The member of staff said it and the manager confirmed it. All of this checking with head office is so pointless. The manager does what s/he thinks right

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!

The policy does not exist! Read the thread!

We haven't established that it is fictional at all - managers have a degree discretion regarding individual store policy.

The dirty looks but was especially funny.

I have. You’re WRONNNNNNGGG.

No I'm not wrong. There is a policy that under 18s can't buy from the website.

There is no general policy that under 18s can't go into a shop without a supervising adult.

Even if it was a fictional policy so what?

Oh yeah - sure 😂Is that your view on all policies?! Hoping you don’t work in any sort of vaguely professional area!

If it’s an official policy It. Will. Be. Written. Down.

“Entitled little mare” Wowsers!! You really hate girls don’t you?

The manager runs the shop. MNers ringing up Homebase do not run the shop.

If the manager bans unaccompanied teens (perhaps because of theft or attempts to buy products like knives or glue, or has been asked by local police to operate a strict policy about those things) then there’s a ban. What’s so difficult about this?

I've checked the FAQs on their website and there is nothing to say under 18s aren't allowed in. To be honest, it wouldn't be a stupid policy given the large trolleys, types of heavy products etc being moved around - at least for younger children. But if there were such a policy, there needs to be clear signage.

BUT there isn't such a policy.

The sales assistant and manager were wrong.

The cashier was right.

And teenage girls are allowed to question authority.