To just feel like my child is an arse?

[shewolfmum]

So....I hate perfume. Body spray...strong smells well synthetic smells anyway. My DD (11) has been asking for body spray as her friends have it. I said no, we can find a natural one I would take her shopping to find one. Today I got off my girl flu fever sofa ( got that cough fever sinus pile of shit) to take her to town with her friend for shopping. That's what she wanted to do in half term. I huddled in a cafe for 3 hours staring into space as my eyes hurt. Anyway...on the way we discuss said body spray...she said it was unfair but she wouldn't buy it ....just went in to see her and the two bottles are in her dresser! She said they are her friends who is staying...which I can tell is an absolute lie. I am so peed off with her...I feel like putting her outside with her bloody body spray. Aibu?

As the mum of four (potentially five) boys, two of which have reached the lynx age, I understand exactly where you're coming from. 12 year old has become obsessed with buying (cheap) aftershaves with his pocket money and no amount of scented candles or windows open can return my house to how it smelt before.

My eldest daughter is autistic and has quite an extreme aversion to her sisters perfume. That's life, she has to accept it I'm afraid!! She accepts this completely even though she hates it. Sometimes we have to put up with things we really can't stand because it's kind to someone you care about.

We've just had to adapt eg closed door when spraying, leave room if you don't like it etc

My sons girlfriend bought him a lynx tobacco smelling aftershave that he wears most days. Absolutely vile smell. The Hugo Boss I bought him is unopened! His choice, a bit like when I favoured Body Shop White Musk as a teenager!

🤣🤣🤣

Can you tell us what else is pissing you off now?

I'm quite sensitive to smells and hate the smell of stuff like Lynx and it makes me feel sick. The stink of a kid spraying it around in your home would be lots stronger than someone wearing it in work or on a train - it's 30 years on, but I still remember the.stink in the bathroom after my then teenage brother had a shower, with aftershave and deodorant and body spray, the smell was gagging.

It's your home, you're allowed to have rules. I've never had to face awful bodyspray smells at home - just realised I've been really lucky, as I would have done what you've done and told tweens/teens to bin them.

I have a no smoking rule in mine place as I don't like the smell - visitors get to stand outside if they want to smoke so I don't have to smell it for days.

I can't believe that 96% think you're being unreasonable - body sprays are not essential for hygiene, get her a decent deodorant- Mitchum is good - and some soap or shower gel.

Also, you told her not to get a spray, gave her the reason why, she agreed, but she went ahead and got them and then lied about it. Giving in, so she can be like her friends, would be a really bad precedent.

Sure, you may have the Impulse to control these things and be a bit of a Brut about it, but I think you could take a more Soft & Gentle approach.

After all, smelling good as a teen is one of life's Escentials. Maybe provide her with some Lynx to a few nicer products on the web. It's better than letting her feel like a right Charlie in front of her friends.

Are you for real ? I hate those body sprays too because I enjoy nice expensive perfumes so when my daughter started asking for them I got her a nice proper bottle of perfume instead that she loves . Are still likes the body sprays too but thankfully developed a taste for the nice stuff mostly . Let your child find what are loves, are is not going to have the same exact tastes as you

Good one ska music, very witty at such an early hour. 😁

How mean.

I genuinely like what ska music posted. 😁

I could see not liking strong smells if your asthmatic (my brother used to ask me to put perfume and deodorant on when he wasn’t near by, it used to attack his chest) but just because you don’t like it isn’t fair OP. You could express you don’t like strong smells and show her you only really need one spray on the body for body spray so it’s not a powerful smell.

Omg, me too!!! Some won’t get it, OP. My sister is like this. It’s like she went in to perfume store and broke every bottle over herself 😩

I find synthetic smells repugnant. Brain damaging, actually. There’s good scientist currently studying the effects of all these fragrances on our body and its systems.

here’s a good website where you may be able to find something suitable, btw:
https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

That’s pretty sad. Your poor autistic child.

This. Pick and choose your battles. If this has you this upset the teenage years and I'm not talking troubled teen I'm talking regular teen will be a shock. Seriously this is not the hill to die on

@shewolfmum poor girl, having an idiot for a mum!!

Does 11 years old count as a teen these days then?

I really wasn't expecting this to be about something this simple. Very much looking forward to seeing how you deal with the real teenage years if you go into a meltdown about body spray.

Wait till she moves onto the cloying smell of sweet scented candles 🤢
You'll soon be wishing for the good old days of body spray 😂

Exactly 💯 agree. Ffs your being cruel. Poor lass. I was sad at this post. Get a fucking grip.

You sound really mean & cruel
.Honestly you do. Poor lass. Get a fucking grip. 😤.

I think the trick here is to find something that you are happy with. I have allergies and react to a lot of perfumes (more so in the winter as during the spring summer and autumn I'm on constant medication for it). My DD is the same age and I've explained to her why I buy the shower gel and soap we use (she hadn't realised) and that I don't mind her having some body spray or perfume etc but it needs to be one that I can tolerate and we would need to look together.

It's not your DD who's the arse here. You're in for a long road through the teenage years with such an intolerant arsey attitude.

Mine is the same, but the only one I can't stand is Cheirosa '62, which is very strong and horribly synthetic (though, go figure, many adults love it too). I told her it's not my favorite but of course she still wears it.
What I do is air out her room after she's left for school. It would probably be more difficult if I were allergic to it or got migraines, we'd have to have a different conversation, then.

@shewolfmum , you've taken offense. It's a risk when you post on AIBU. Where I think you've gone wrong is giving her a ride when you're sick - you should have rested at home. The fact that she bought these body sprays adds insult to injury, but she is being a completely normal preteen - teen girl.

My coworker was allergic to many things and sensitive to scents. So for the 10 years I was her boss, I did not use perfumes other than on the weekend (and I love perfumes). I did, however, use antiperspirant and deodorant, though I tried to use milder ones.
It was just the two of us working in one room; it would not have been reasonable with 10 people, but it was an easy decision for me to make on my own, she never asked.