To just feel like my child is an arse?

[shewolfmum]

So....I hate perfume. Body spray...strong smells well synthetic smells anyway. My DD (11) has been asking for body spray as her friends have it. I said no, we can find a natural one I would take her shopping to find one. Today I got off my girl flu fever sofa ( got that cough fever sinus pile of shit) to take her to town with her friend for shopping. That's what she wanted to do in half term. I huddled in a cafe for 3 hours staring into space as my eyes hurt. Anyway...on the way we discuss said body spray...she said it was unfair but she wouldn't buy it ....just went in to see her and the two bottles are in her dresser! She said they are her friends who is staying...which I can tell is an absolute lie. I am so peed off with her...I feel like putting her outside with her bloody body spray. Aibu?

Very ironic thread name...

Would you stop wearing something because she didn’t like it? One of mine can’t stand the smell of soup cooking. Does that mean the rest of us can never eat soup? She’s allowed to leave the room, and I wouldn’t deliberately inflict it on her, but nobody can ban smells from an entire house!

Sorry, but you're being really unreasonable.
Body sprays are a rite of passage for girls that age. They all have them!
And if you didn't know she had them, then they frankly can't be bothering you that much

You sound horrible.

You sound a lot like my controlling mother. Why isn't she allowed it just because you don't like it?

You're feeling grumpy because you're ill and have dragged your phlegmy self into town and suffered to make your daughter happy.

Revolting body sprays are a rite of passage for teens - I used to douse myself in Dewberry much to my family's chagrin. My nephew is currently going through his Lynx phase.

Make yourself a comforting cup of something, be thankful that DD would rather smell of perfume than BO, and find a compromise. There'll be bigger battles to pick.

Oh, and have a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

As everyone else said, YABU.

However, as a parent of teen boys, I can tell you, enduring the pungent scent of Lynx is compulsory. I sometimes wonder if BO might be preferable!

YABU. And not very nice.

You're the arse I'm afraid

Body spray is such a small harmless insignificant thing for her to want. Now she has learned to hide things from you. Find a way to reconcile this body spray issue otherwise she'll go on to hide the big stuff from you too.

This has to be a wind up. No one is that ridiculous. Of course she can have a body spray.

Another vote for pick your battles and brace yourself for the teenage years
Sheesh

Sorry OP, YABU. It's just body spray, it's really not worth getting worked up about. If you really hate it that much, just ask her not to use too much all in one go and to only spray it in her bedroom. It's not very fair or realistic to expect her to never have body spray or perfume, is it?

I think maybe 3 hours waiting a cafe in town when you're feeling rubbish is to blame for your feelings here. I hope you're feeling better soon, but let your daughter enjoy this part of growing up.

You can compromise by letting her put it on outside the house.

Don't be so controlling, you'll push her away.

Wow, overreact much? "an arse"...no.....but you are.

Of course your DD wants to buy and use a body spray just like her friends. Maybe she can make sure her door is closed / window open when she uses it

This kind of controlling behaviour will make your child rebel and see you as an enemy

At least the BO is natural

It's a rite of passage for young ones to leave the house under a cloud of body spray. My 14yo likes a sickly sweet Victoria's secret one, I can always tell when she is getting ready to go out because you can smell her about half an hour before you see her.

Unless it makes you actually unwell you have to suck it up

It's a body spray not cocaine

You're not 'queen of all smells'

You’re utterly in the wrong.

If it actually makes you ill - e.g. triggers asthma attacks, obviously YANBU. Otherwise YABU. Why are your likes and dislikes more important than hers?

Well I'm with OP on this one. Body sprays and spray on deodorants make my noise itch, irritate my lungs and make me sneeze. Perfume gives me a migraine. I bought DS roll on deodorant instead and told him he can't wear lynx. DH once sprayed some spray on deodorant and we could smell it for about a week in the house as I am very sensitive. Personally I think that teaching your children to be empathetic of other peoples needs is a good thing and hopefully means they won't grow up to be someone who likes to subject the whole world to their perfume.
I would allow DS to spray lynx outside the house but I couldn't cope with it inside the house.

To be, teenager boys always smell of the combination of sweat AND Lynx Africa.

You are being ridiculous, she will lie to you about much more than body spray if this is how you treat her.