Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

It's not to stop others sitting down for no reason. It's because they thought ahead

If people bagging tables before ordering are stopping those that have got their food from sitting down then I think that’s rude, whether a single person or a family.

But how do you know the people in the queue are getting food or drinks to eat in? They could be getting a takeout.

M&S cafe is the worst for this. Half the place is filled with one half of a couple sitting at a table with no food or drinks. I've stopped going to M&S for this reason. My 4 year old is a bit timid to sit by herself so it's not worth risking getting a tray of food and being unable to get a table to eat it at.

I read once that cafes are able to estimate their footfall and average eating /staying time to work out how many tables they need, and folk sitting at a table before they've been served skews that.

When I've witnessed this, which I have quite a few years in my middle ageish years, this is what has happened. If someone is standing there with a tray of food (me and my partner tend to go to the counter together), looking around for somewhere to sit. The members of staff have politely asked people to move who aren't eating. A lot of the time there are signs saying please order food before sitting or something like that.
However, if the place is quite big, not busy etc, we might find a table if we think everyone will get a seat, whether they're queuing or just come in etc.
I personally believe this is a 'read the room ' situation. But honestly, I think it's such a dick move to go rushing to a table when entering somewhere busy, knowing someone just getting their food has nowhere to sit. Just inconsiderate.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

This is what makes it so stressful when ordering food at a busy cafe when I'm alone. I won't go to Costa alone anymore because I've ended up holding a tray with hot coffee and food and the tables have been taken by people with someone much further back in the queue. It's annoying but it's standard practice these days.

They're normally scanning the room looking at all the inconsiderate twats hogging tables 😂

I think most cafes have enough tables to fill the premises. I doubt if they were to estimate footfall they would be putting in another 5 tables - I’ve never seen any with the capacity.

You find it annoying that one half of the couple is sat down, but I’m guessing if your kid had a bit more confidence would be happy to reserve a table in this way. I think it is better than lots of people clogging up the queue.

It only works if people respect single people’s belongings though and allow them to reserve tables in the same way though. I always thought that would be a given- but as ever mumsnet proves me wrong and apparently there are lots of people out there who will just push others belongings out of the way

And wondering where some arsehole has moved their coat to!

So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

Did you leave your coats on the back of the chairs then all go up to order?

Very towel on sunbed fashion.
Bit of a no no if you did.

Haha...yes. If they're inconsiderate too. And they'd deserve it.

Does this thread not show you most people doing that aren't inconsiderate, they just think differently to you as another pps post illustrated very well?

What do you do then, if ordering food before getting a table? What happens if you get your food then there's no where to sit?

No, it actually shows me most people aren't as considerate as me at all. As I don't and never have behaved like that. I just don't understand how someone can sit there knowing full well someone is trying to find a seat with a tray of food

Blame other people according to this thread 😂

But no one actually knows anything, as other pp have said, maybe those queuing are going to rejoin someone sitting at a table, maybe they are getting a takeaway. Such a weird take to call others inconsiderate when they are just preparing themselves to also pay to use the facility

I noticed last week in an M+S that they had a member of staff at the front of the cafe directing people to tables as they became free, so no one could sit down first then join the queue to order unless he had allocated you a table. It was better than the usual situation where loads of tables had someone sitting there whilst someone else queued, leaving no free tables for solo customers like me!
In another instance, in a small cafe, after I’d ordered food and collected my drink there were no free tables, as people had bagsied them then joined the queue. One bloke was sitting at a table of 4 and I saw he was with a female who was at the back of the queue. I breezed up, put my coffee down on the table and said ‘you won’t mind if I share this table will you, after all there are no free ones.’ He didn’t know what to say, but neither of them seemed to object.

Unfortunately “people preparing themselves to pay to use the facility” and bagging empty tables are deliberately preventing people who arrived earlier and have already queued and paid from sitting to eat their meal. Deliberately. Rude.

I beg to differ that I'm more considerate than you if it means other people can eat.
Bonkers.

You're right. We are absolutely 'deliberately' out to get you, you got us 😂

Table first then order. I can see it being an issue if it s only one person and it’s warmer so no coats to leave etc. but this was a couple- why one couldn’t sit down while the other one orders🤷🏻‍♀️

If there are any café owners reading this thread, please, for the love of God, provide a sign giving clear guidance on table etiquette! Can you see the angst caused by your lack of "rules"?!

It's always table first then order food. You did nothing wrong OP.

Somewhere near me has laminated “reserved” signs especially for people on their own to put on a table. I wish everywhere did that.