Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

Normally I would bag a table as you did but last week I happened to go into my local coffee bar on my own. It was busy but there were a couple of tables but while I was ordering people came in behind me and sat at the free tables. By then I'd ordered but there was no where to sit so I had to get a refund for my order.
So I think you are being unreasonable

Either everyone waits or everyone grabs a table the moment they walk in the door

If they had grabbed a table on entry then you wouldn't have had a table to hog

If everyone gets a table when they enter then the total time any one party holds the table is longer than if you only take a table when you have food

Which would mean fewer customers could be fed in a set time

Which would increase costs longer term

And discriminates against singles/ mum with a few young kids

So on balance it's better if no one tries to take a table before they have food

I wouldn't order food without a table so always get a seat first. Otherwise you could end up with no where to sit. On my own put my coat on a seat at a table or use single bench seats. People who think you should order before sitting are weird as I don't want to walk around with a tray if drinks/food and not gave a seat.

Table before food. I wouldn't order food before I knew I had somewhere to sit and eat it.

Also, lots of places assume this is the right order of things because they ask you for your table number when you order.

I think if they wanted to reserve the table one of them should have sat at it. YANBU at all. I've never heard of ordering food before you have guaranteed a table.
It also wasn't clear they were waiting. And as you have kids with you, the couple could have been more understanding.

So the cafe was full, there was one table left, the couple at the till were there before you and were already paying for their food, and then you came in and took the last table.

Where did you think the couple at the till were going to sit after you nabbed the last table? The floor?

I never understand why this subject is so divided because surely it’s just common sense that the people who are already paying will need somewhere to sit first?

Or am I just being too nice?

Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free.

This is why you should have given up the table as soon as you realized what had happened. This couple made their decision to order food instead of moving on based on the availability of a table, just like you had done before.

If there had been no one in line getting food (or more tables available) then setting things down at the table first or splitting up so kids could get settled instead of standing in line would have been completely fine, but in this case you jumped the queue.

I can see it's pretty much a split response. Just to clear a few things up it's the type of cafe where you grab a menu off the counter, you go up to order your food and then they bring it over to you once it's ready. It's not a huge place so you don't need table numbers. They also offer take out food and drinks. To be honest when I see people queueing I assume they either have people already sat saving a table for them or they are getting takeaway. This may just be me thinking wrongly but I would never assume they just hadn't found a table and were ordering first, its such a busy place that people always seem to come in and scan for a table first and if there isn't any they normally leave.

So much grabbing.

YANBU but I tend to visit cafes where they need your table number when you order as they bring the food to you. I prefer that set up.

YANBU we always get tables first, why queue for food if you then can’t eat it

Quite!

Table then food.

Standing there like a 🍋 with a tray of lukewarm food and drinks with nowhere to sit is just shit.

Include a poll!

And what do you expect people on their own to do?

She didn't 'take a table away' from someone. The table was empty.

OP - YANBU. It makes sense to secure a table, then go and order. The alternative, as this situation highlights, is to order... then find you have nowhere to sit! Could so easily have been YOU wanting that table, rather than the other lady - you just happened to get there first. That's just life unfortunately.

If anything, SIBU for trying to claim a now occupied table! Then tutting all the while you were trying to eat. Rude much!?

I always do table first. Most of the coffee shops I got to it seems table first is the norm. Otherwise you’re just going to end up table-less at busy times.

Grab table first, then order.

The couple should have made it clear it was their table - one stays at the table and the other one goes to order.

Unfortunately yes, you are. The other lady should have had the foresight to do what OP did and claim the table. As they say: 'You snooze, you lose!' 🤷‍♀️

Table first then food

table first and then order! Surely if they were a couple, why did they both need to go up to order? Surely one could’ve got a table?

Always table first, reserved with coat or bag then food. Otherwise how do you know you will get a seat?

A few local cafes tell you to do this, it's much better unless you are on your own.

It has never once, in my many years on this planet, occurred to me that I wouldn't get a table before I ordered. If I'm by myself and it's counter service, I put something non-valuable on the table while I go up to order.

People (like the poster on page 1) who play Russian roulette by ordering food first and while crossing their fingers there will be someone to eat it, however long it takes, really can't complain if it then turns out they've missed the boat! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail!

Madness.

It baffles me that anyone can even argue that the right thing to do is order first and THEN look for somewhere to sit🤣

That would mean anybody coming into the cafe would have to basically go up to each person ahead of them in the queue and ask if they already have a table or if they still need a table, or if they are just picking up a coffee/snack to take away, before knowing if they could also place an order while also looking at the tables available to assess if one will be free by then. It also would mean the queue would be more chaotic than necessary as you’d then have families or social groups who ALL stand in the queue to order rather than majority sit down and 1 or 2 go up to place an order.

I’ve never even heard it suggested that it would ever be better to order first THEN look for somewhere to sit. Definitely not unreasonable OP.