Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

Always get a table first, why wouldn't you, unless you don't mind standing eating/drinking at the counter??

I meet a friend for lunch at 1pm (so busiest part of the day) a couple of times a week. One always queues and the other just grabs a spot. This cafe does a lot of takeaway also, so you never know who is staying and who is going.

At the point I realised others had paid and needed to sit I would have offered to move. After it was sorted, there was no need for the couple to carry on tutting and looking over!

Table first and then food. Why on earth would someone order food without knowing they can sit?!
I wouldn't say you're unreasonable at all!

I'm very respectful of other people but to me it just doesn't make sense to get food and then get a table. I also see it as common sense. Usually I get DD to sit at the table. I mean I would look a bit silly paying for food then having no where to sit.

If you've reserved a table with your coat but someone who's been served ahead of you needs it, I don't think there's anything wrong with them moving your stuff. It's just one of those things - worth a punt but you can't really complain when it doesn't work out for you.

Moving placeholder children off a table is different - that takes a real brass neck!

I had this when out with a friend. One empty table, no queue. We'd ordered, were paying and a couple came in and plonked themselves at the empty table. They refused to move so we asked for our money back and cancelled our order. Have never been back there since.

Wtf, why would you think you had the right to touch another person's belongings?

I always get a table before ordering, as I expect the people in the queue ahead of me to have also done. If I'm on my own then I leave my coat there, chance that I'll get a table after ordering, or go somewhere less busy.

This is another one of those things that only happen on mumsnet. I’ve never ever seen a whole family/group walk into a cafe and all queue up to get their order and then look for a table after, one always goes up while rest sit at an empty table and wait.

Why is it more worthy to hold tables with children than a coat?

If you need the table in order to eat the food, then you need to secure the table first. Otherwise what are you going to do with the food?

Never been to a National Trust cafe then?

It just wouldn't bother me if someone ignored my coat and used the table ahead of me. It's just a coat, I'm not going to freak out if someone touches it so they can sit down and eat before I've been served.

Why on earth would it be ok to pick up someone’s things but then use your kids to reserve the table????

Yes, went to one last week and I sat down at a table whilst my husband went to get our food and drinks.

Absolutely, I mean who does that. Never seen it in my life, no one orders food unless they habe a table.

No children? When we go with children, the children go in the queue with us do they can see what is on offer and decide what they want, that is how most families do it, national trust even have the kids meal boxes at kid height for them to grab

And then what happens when you’re standing there with your tray of food and nowhere to sit because someone had moved your stuff? Are you honestly happy then?

stupid comment

I’d move a coat under these circumstances too - if people are so concerned about others touching their possessions then they shouldn’t leave them strewn around to stop other people sitting down

How else are people on their own meant to reserve tables when everyone behind them in the queue are sending people to reserve tables?

Fast food queue first, then find a table.
This used to be an issue is McDs, food courts and in service stations with people stood around with trays waiting for a table, while others sat at tables for 30 minutes waiting for someone in the queue. Its more efficient and gets more people fed quicker.

It depends how big the queue is.

A cafe with a slower style of service I would find a table first and put something down to save it.

So people out as part of a group can get a table and eat in comfort, but single people need to take their chances? Why the double standard?

That's not what I'm saying. I don't go around moving coats and replacing them with children! I don't even like reserving tables, it makes me feel like I've inconvenienced someone who didn't get organised ahead of me.

I mean if someone moved a coat I'd used to reserve a table because they needed it before I did, that's fair enough. It's just a coat, they're not exactly overstepping and pushing children out of the way.

I use neither coats nor kids to reserve tables, I try to avoid places where this sort of thing is required.

I don't think it's about some people being more considerate than others a lot of the time. From the comments on this post it's clear people think about this in different ways. And likely most people assume others will behave the same way they do.

Logically, if you are buying food in a cafe, you are paying for food, facilities and service, so finding a table to sit at first ensures you are able to have everything you are paying for (and potentially need).

When we have the children with us one of us goes up with the kids so they can have a look at what there is, choose what they want and then one of us takes them back to the table and waits while the other orders. There is absolutely no need for a whole family taking up space in a queue.