Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

Noshowlomo

If you want a designated space, pay more and book a table at a restaurant. Cafes are casual. They fill up quickly. Do you think people should wander around with purchased food, not able to find a free table.

I think it is weird and selfish if the cafe is full and you wouldn"t offer a seat to a person who CAN'T FIND a seat, as guess what, the cafe is full!

If there are no seats available, should i just stand up with my purchased food, so as not to invade other people's space!!

I'd check there was somewhere to sit before I bought it, personally. You know, table first. And then I wouldn't end up in that situation.

Do you think people should wander around with purchased food, not able to find a free table.

You could ask, do you think people should purchase food if there are no free tables?

@user1471554720 it’s weird (soooo weird) and selfish to think you can sit with strangers and just impose your presence on them at their table!

Don't ever go to altrinham market or maccy majors then - there you have to share tables as each table to for about 12/14 people, random people all sit together. The places are both packed so it seems people do choice to share tables

Some places have tables made for sharing. Long tables with communal benches. Wagamama for example.

Joining 3 people on a table for 4 not the same thing at all.

Reasons like… being in a cafe? Wanting to sit down to eat?! 😂

I go in and see free tables, as I queue, tables fill up, with one person sitting at a table for four. A lot of larger groups get the table first and then order. This makes it hard to see if there are free tables. As I am one person, I can't get soneone to hold me a table. Usually I try and go off peak so I rarely run into this problem.

Noshowlomo

You sound like the type of person who wants a seat for your bag on a packed train.

Go to one of those free tables and put your coat there. I think this has only been said about 10 times.

Get your food. Sit and eat.

Offer the other seats to anybody else you see blundering around with a tray as you wish.

@user1471554720

@user1471554720 you sound like someone who is annoyed with groups of people.

@user1471554720 why would I want to put my bag on a seat? My seat stays on my lap.. I’ve said this to someone else above. I expect to sit next to ANYONE on public transport.
Public transport is a free for all. My bag didn’t pay for a seat.
That ok?

Who is able to say if four people, for example, carrying trays after the checkout will be together or all individuals looking for four tables? Op is NTA.

Who is able to say if four people, for example, carrying trays after the checkout will be together or all individuals looking for four tables? Op is NTA.

That's back to the mind reading skills.

Yeah, now you’re just making up stuff about trains and things!

I’m very much ‘table first, then buy food’ - but that’s not to say I’d fail to step in if someone from the ‘buy food then look in vain for table’ contingent had (unsurprisingly) fallen foul of that doomed system! I’m not a monster!

But it is odd.

This will always be a divisive issue as long as cafes don't set very clear policies. One or the other system works, doesn't really matter which, it's this mish mash of approaches that causes problems.

If the system is "table then food", establishments do need to give out "reserved" signs so that solo people on days so hot there isn't even a cardigan to leave and friends who want to pay separately aren't disadvantaged.

I think it depends on the setting. It's absolutely the done thing in railway station cafes. I wish I'd done it once when there was nowhere to sit in an airport Starbucks (the two people behind me had taken the table I'd planned to sit at which I can't blame them for, it's on cafes to make it a "one system or the other" policy).

Occasionally, it is too hot for a coat. Or any sort of layer that can be left. (Otherwise yes, I completely agree with reserving via a coat.)

No one CHOOSES to share a table with random people.

I gave an example of two places where apparently people do choose just that

It has absolutely happened to me. Had to go and take my food outside (not to an official cafe table). I suppose many would ask for a refund at that point, but in this case there was nowhere else to eat.

However, I'm not on team order first. I'm on team cafes enforce one policy or the other.

I gave an example of two places where apparently people do choose just that

great 👍🏻

Go to one of those free tables and put your coat there. I think this has only been said about 10 times

This is mad, though, because surely your coat would regularly be stolen?

It's like leaving your bike unlocked outside a shop while you pop in briefly - only did that once, never saw it again. Or window boxes on your front windowsills. I've had so many nicked (in multiple properties) that I've given up altogether.

This is mad, though, because surely your coat would regularly be stolen?

🤷‍♀️ Nope.

Suppose it depends where we all are.

😂No one would want my ratty old coat!