To have another baby even if marriage is a little rocky?

[Farmulaic]

Looking for some advice. 36 and have one child, since her birth our marriage has been a little rough. Both working full time in stressful jobs and finding it challenging.
We have theoretically even contributions work and family-wise, though he overestimates his contribution to childcare and household.
After the birth of our daughter, I thought he wasn't supportive enough and could be self centred, he was upset that I would keep bugging him about that.
Fast forward 2 years, we want another child but I worry that our marriage isn't quite up for it yet and it could cause too much strain. On the other hand, will we ever be ready? And time isn't on our side given our ages (DH is 41)
I tried to find marriage counselling but wrote to four different therapists and none could offer times that work so I gave up.
What would you do?

AIBU: another baby is the worst thing you could do right now!
AINBU: oh go on, you're only fertile once...

I think, give your child a sibling before it's too late. They will be there for eachother, later on. And, get in touch with Relate.Theres loads of advice and relationship courses you can do. Broaden your search for support. If you do end up splitting up you'll cope and so will the kid(s). Especially if it's amicably.

If you can afford to be a single parent to 2 dc - and it sounds like you can - then go for it. That means being able to pay for reliable childcare and possibly a cleaner.

Do not cut back your hours at work. That is a trap.

These threads always go exactly the same way, I'm not sure what the point is. You want a baby sons you want us to tell you it will all work out. This is just a public declaration that you will try for another baby.

A quick browse of the Relationships board with tell you all you need to know, aka don't do it !!!

I can really relate to your post - although we’re a few years along now.

After our first child our marriage really took a hit, at points it felt like we wouldn’t last. Like you I had trauma around the birth and felt as though DH wasn’t doing enough to support me in the months post birth. I had therapy and gradually things improved.

Like yourselves we had got back to a good place but it still felt as though it wasn’t on the solid ground it was before. We both wanted a second, so when our first turned two we decided to just go for it.

The second time round was SO much easier. We both had more realistic expectations, and the fact that there were now two children to look after meant DH couldn’t really opt out. Parenting became much more even.

Anyway, things went from strength to strength and I’m now pregnant with our fourth!

Have the baby…

I'd have another. It doesn't sound like there were major issues, and if you potentially do split 5 years down the line it's much better that your child has a sibling anyway than being the only child in 2 single parent households