Frustrated with DH and food

[Henriettay]

DH has a few health issues including coeliac disease. He refuses to cook or meal plan because he hates it. I make his food most of the time. Occasionally if I don’t cook he’ll have some fresh soup or a snack.

He’s becoming really difficult around food, e.g if I ask what he fancies, he says he doesn’t know, therefore I cook something and he’ll act disappointed as he’s not sure he really wants it. I tell him to stop being so annoying and he apologises but then acts the same the following day.

I’m just so frustrated - I know the simplest answer is to just not cook for him, I tried this and he ate toast for a week. He needs to eat a balanced diet not just because it’s a healthy thing to do, but because of other issues his dietician has advised on certain types of food to include in his diet. I’m concerned he will get more ill from not following this advice.

He is really good in all other ways, but just won’t do food preparation or cooking. I wondered if anyone had experienced something similar and offer advice?

I can understand your worry but if he’s not happy with what you cook, he can do it himself, he’s not a child and you’re not his mother, and his dietician would have spoken to him about his health condition and given advice on the correct foods so he knows his own condition better than anyone. I’d be telling him from now on if he won’t accept what you make he can make his own because it stresses you out all the time. If he sulks then so be it. There’s nothing else you can do.

Make meals that fit in with his medical needs and that you like as well, and if he acts "disappointed" (wtf) or whatever, act like you haven't noticed or heard. Then if he wants to make himself something else afterwards, that's his choice. It's like feeding a small child: put it in front of them and then they eat it or not - don't make it a drama, or so will they.