How the hell everyone is supposed to cope?

[Oink38]

Having a bad day of mass anxiety.

so, hubby and I earn ok wages. Not huge but we both work for charities so probably earn between 50k between us

childcare is killing us- nearly 1k a month for 3 days a week. We have no family or friends support. Now that the new funding has come in people who aren’t entitled due to being 3 shortly and not getting that funding until September will have to no doubt have their nursery fees raised again.

no pay rises in sight. Meant to be putting into work pension and also saving but honestly where the hell are we supposed to find the money

desperate to move but can’t cos nursery fees are too high.

fed up with this government. Not entitled to any benefits barely surviving month to month. Haven’t had a holiday in 9 years. Drive old car. No fun days out. Barely have anything left to do anything with. Utterly fed up of working for basically shit.

no can’t get other jobs I am specialised in what I do and hubby earns well for the field he is in.

and no we don’t buy take away coffees or avocados

just a massive rant really. Suppose aibu in thinking how the hell people are supposed to survive when everything is going up and no positivity anywhere

Exactly.

That's why so many couples (with any sense) are putting off starting a family.

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/opinion/columnists/why-young-couples-are-delaying-the-decision-to-start-a-family-for-long-periods-of-time-andy-brown-4468048

@bibblebobblesShould people on normal incomes not have children? Just the rich?

A normal income, if you take the mean salary, is around £32-35K
So if two people work they'd have a joint income of around £65K.

Graduate jobs now start on at least £26K in most companies/ organisations.

So if she's been working for 20 years (and must be in her mid 30s at least) then she's not earning much.

The issue here is she doesn't work fulltime and is in a low paid job.

AND she lives in the SE where most nursery fees are at least £60 a day and up to £90 (for fairly ordinary nurseries.)

It's not a criticism of her, just stating facts as she's posted herself.
Low paid, family friendly hours (works from home for maybe 5 hrs a day) but not meeting their financial outgoings very well.

@Oink38 YANBU
Its becoming ridiculous to live in the UK.
we earn the most we ever have eg promotions but actual disposable income /standard of living is the worst it’s ever been. Inflation is chaos plus we need to remortgage. I work full time but can’t afford 5 days in nursery. 3 days would be manageable (not fun) so I need to figure out how to magic work and childcare for 2 days.

I honestly wonder if I should leave the UK for something different. This gov is squeezing households on <100k to death and banging on about productivity whilst they all want to earn money from non jobs like being a landlord. Or offshore accounts. It’s actually embarrassing.

That poster thinks no one should have children if on UC.

I wonder what would happen if people stopped having children

The Govt would go full Gilead within five years. When the State thinks that women have too few children, it does things like outlawing abortion and contraceptives.

Ah yes, you should never have a child unless you can guarantee your health, your partner's health, your child's health, your mortgage rates, your landlord, your job, your industry, your benefits, your wages, the inflation rate, the availability of childcare, and the state of global peace will not change within the next 30 years.

Sort that out first, then think about kids.

I don't understand why you won't get the free hours as your child is 2 (or have I misread)? My little boy is 2.5 and I received his code this week - he's 3 in July. Doesn't even go but they've still sent the code.. why can't you get 15hrs?

You say nursery fees are £1k a month? Is that without the Tax free childcare or after the 20% from government? Seems very high for 3 days a week?
My child is in 3 days a week and cost is around £850 a month but the tax free childcare reduces that to £680 odd.

Is the place your child goes to have everything included such as wipes, nappies, suncream etc? We viewed one place with all that but it was an extra £20 a day compared to the setting that we chose and we provide these things. I reasoned my child was not getting through £60 worth of wipes/nappies a week!!

Perhaps looks for another childcare settings with lower fees?

you are right… the important work you are doing is not reflected in any way in your salary…I’m sorry to hear this. I only hope that you are coping. I hate to think what more of a mess this country would be in if people doing your role walked away because it didn’t stack up financially

You’ve worked for the same employer for 20 years and niche you say? Time to negotiate a decent pay rise.

For the half wits suggesting no one poor should having families, shouldn't claim any UC, try looking at the long term of who will wipe your arse when you are suffering from dementia in a care home in your dotage or need the bins emptied or need a pharmacist to dispense the medication you rely on. That's the next generation.

The birth rate is falling. We need more couples procreating not less🤦🏻

This isn't necessarily wise. There's the little matter of falling ovarian reserves to consider and also that the further after age 25 a mother is, the more likely she is to have a disabled baby. Not saying that disabled people are a bad thing, I am one myself, but saying that parents' lives are easier with non-disabled children. Older dads don't do their kids health any favours either.

Our combined income is less than £20k. And because we have put money aside for the kids when they're older, we are going to take a £600 a month hit in UC.
My father has a bit of cash, so his nursing home fees are, wait for it, £1,640 a WEEK.... until his savings are below the threshold, then it's free.
Tough times indeed.

What?!?!?! How?!

Either that, or we need more immigration to top up the population. No one seems to like that suggestion though.

Have you tried to see what happens if you need to pay for more childcare?

We are on a similar income as you and we get childcare support if we use more childcare, but none if we use what we actually need. We are better off “paying” for more childcare and then getting it back from UC.

Where would the money come from?

I have four, know a family with ten children in my town. Good on them if they have the means to do so. Their eldest is 20, youngest is 1.

This thread is frightening

Aren't you a barrel of niceness

I have children with additional needs myself, as I was saying it in a way to say putting off motherhood for those who want babies isn't a wise move.best cracking on asap.

Maybe they are in Scotland? Here, we don’t get anything until the kid turns 3, but then everyone gets 30h.

Although the fees do seem high for Scotland.

Not sure why people do not push more for subsidized daycare... It's an absolute killer. And mostly for women

You should be need free childcare or subsidized childcare - what we need is decent wages so everyone can pay their own fees!

Stop looking at government and start looking at benefits that keep people in poverty - and allow employers to underpay.

It's 30hrs in Scotland when they turn 3, but also some when they turn 2yo get free childcare entitlement under certain circumstances.