How the hell everyone is supposed to cope?

[Oink38]

Having a bad day of mass anxiety.

so, hubby and I earn ok wages. Not huge but we both work for charities so probably earn between 50k between us

childcare is killing us- nearly 1k a month for 3 days a week. We have no family or friends support. Now that the new funding has come in people who aren’t entitled due to being 3 shortly and not getting that funding until September will have to no doubt have their nursery fees raised again.

no pay rises in sight. Meant to be putting into work pension and also saving but honestly where the hell are we supposed to find the money

desperate to move but can’t cos nursery fees are too high.

fed up with this government. Not entitled to any benefits barely surviving month to month. Haven’t had a holiday in 9 years. Drive old car. No fun days out. Barely have anything left to do anything with. Utterly fed up of working for basically shit.

no can’t get other jobs I am specialised in what I do and hubby earns well for the field he is in.

and no we don’t buy take away coffees or avocados

just a massive rant really. Suppose aibu in thinking how the hell people are supposed to survive when everything is going up and no positivity anywhere

IMO you should only get funded childcare costs for times when both parents are at work. It would free up funding for those who actually need it.

Not read all 9 pages @Oink38 so this will almost certainly have been said, but you get the hmrc 20% off childcare right? Paying nursery through the tax free childcare account?

Where is the incentive to work indeed. I am a SEN TA and my pay is only a few hundred more than what I would get from UC when I was unemployed. Add that to the fact that half of my pay goes to rent and no bank will give me a morgage, I really can't blame anyone who would decide to sod it and just not work. I do it because I enjoy doing something valuable and because I have another job on the side that pays well so thankfully I am not struggling. Jobs like mine and op's which provide actual value to society and don't make some rich bastard richer are paid almost nothing, it's disgusting and shouldn't be like this.

My daughter just chose a daycare for when her baby comes in May. It will cost $1,000 per month for 5 days a week, 7 am to 4:30 pm. Is that comparable with costs in the UK?

The circumstances to get funded childcare at 2 are incredibly tight.

We didn’t even get it when in an incredibly difficult financial and health situation. It only really exists for those who don’t work, are under social work involvement (and even then it is circumstance dependent!) or the child has a diagnosis.

Truly well said

I'm glad you are going to speak to your provider again OP, as many other have said you should get the new 15 hrs funding for 2 year olds from April. We will be for DD who turns 3 in mid April.

Although we've just been hit by a 10% price rise from our nursery! So it won't make that much of a difference until she gets the 30 hrs now in Sept I don't think 😔

He will be in school soon. Make sure your contraception is watertight!

You said you were very borderline to be able to get some assistance/UC, etc. Can one of you decrease your hours slightly to reduce your income so you’re under the threshold, would that be doable? (I admit I know very little about the benefit system so don’t know if that is something that could be done).

Because someone has to look after the child while she's working. Thought that was obvious.

i suppose it’s mainly relative to where you live / local salaries.

Bit yes that’s less than average vs the U.K. - and our salaries are really quite a lot
loweR too.

It is crap .Wages in the 3rd sector are awful and cost of living crisis is making a poor situation worse as they struggle to keep going .
Sadly this society really places value on the wrong sectors .

It wouldn't be worth it. The amount of UC wouldn't be enough to make up the lost wages.

I can't believe someone said why do you need childcare when I work from home?!

Would you take your toddler into the office and be able to work properly 😂

Sorry to hear your financial struggle. Unfortunately, it's difficult at both ends of life - my elderly mother has just gone into residential care. We fully expected that she would forfeit all her pension to pay towards the cost but what we did not reckon on was what is euphemistically called 'top-up'. This is the difference between the maximum the local authority will pay (which includes the client's contribution) and what the care home will charge. In our case, this is £300+ per week for a mid-range care home. This has to be paid by 'a third party' ie me.

If I can't pay it, my DM will be sent somewhere cheaper ie pretty awful/chronically understaffed/even potentially dangerous and probably miles away in a much cheaper area. So not great then. All because Central Government withdrew their Adult Social Care subsidy for local authorities and put the burden on the client and their families.

Not necessarily true, because you can then become eligible for childcare costs covered by UC as well.
Only works if you can reduce hours on a temporary basis though. If you have to commit to doing less hours then it’ll not be worthwhile in the long term.

Are you married to a Yorkshireman by any chance?

I'm disabled and unable to work for life but I get by ok @Oink38 .

Unfortunately I wasn't blessed with children so my outgoings happen to be small.

Praying that once you get past the nursery years things will get a bit more bearable. x

What country is this then?

I know people have said this but you are eligible for the new funding from April. I've not rtft but If your reconfirmation window is before 15th Feb you'll be given the code in your secure messages when you reconfirm. If it's after 15th you'll get a temporary code in the post very soon, which you can give to your provider, then when you reconfirm you'll get the proper code. Look at Pregnant then Screwed Instagram page, the information you get from the government is dire.

You can claim back 85% of child care through UC, it isn't determined by income

The government has no money.
It's tax payers' money. People in work, working their butts off after years of studying often.

Some are working so hard and being taxed at 45% that they can't afford their own children.

The harsh fact OP is that you and your H need to work on your own careers.

You've not said what you earn but a joint income of £50K when he is 'well paid' isn't a fortune in Essex. It's roughly what two new grads would earn.

You must be mid-late 30s if you've been in the same role for 20 years (assuming you left school at 18) .

I know you're fed up but your first post is so full of 'I can't do this/can't do that'.

Maybe you need to compromise a bit?
Yes, you like your job and feel you're doing some good. But it's not paying the bills enough. There are alternatives but you will have to be adaptable and let something go. Look outside the box a bit, look around for what suits your skillset, consider a childminder instead of nursery perhaps?

Of course it is. Do you think that everyone just gets 85% off their childcare bill? 😂

They really aren’t I work and have small children yet I can claim some universal credit due to living in temporary accommodation and low wages and single mum. I had a real eye opener when the mum of the flat next door invited me in yesterday and her children had no toys there was no sofa just paper and a pens and a tv. She is on universal credit two young children fleeing domestic abuse and can not afford it. It really broke my heart and taught me to stop judging maybe you should try the same.

Hi op, call the gov tax free helpline as they will know when your child is entitled to the 30 hours...if you are entitled to it but can't claim they can put you through to the eligibility team, and you can claim a refund for the hours you had to pay without the 30 hours if you are entitled to them. It will get better.