How the hell everyone is supposed to cope?

[Oink38]

Having a bad day of mass anxiety.

so, hubby and I earn ok wages. Not huge but we both work for charities so probably earn between 50k between us

childcare is killing us- nearly 1k a month for 3 days a week. We have no family or friends support. Now that the new funding has come in people who aren’t entitled due to being 3 shortly and not getting that funding until September will have to no doubt have their nursery fees raised again.

no pay rises in sight. Meant to be putting into work pension and also saving but honestly where the hell are we supposed to find the money

desperate to move but can’t cos nursery fees are too high.

fed up with this government. Not entitled to any benefits barely surviving month to month. Haven’t had a holiday in 9 years. Drive old car. No fun days out. Barely have anything left to do anything with. Utterly fed up of working for basically shit.

no can’t get other jobs I am specialised in what I do and hubby earns well for the field he is in.

and no we don’t buy take away coffees or avocados

just a massive rant really. Suppose aibu in thinking how the hell people are supposed to survive when everything is going up and no positivity anywhere

It's not comfortable for anyone. My DH has started to work Saturdays and Sundays whilst I concentrate on cutting our expenses wherever possible.
Its shit, and I can't quite believe we're in the situation where DH is out of the house 7 days a week and I'm counting pounds and pennies, because our standard of living has dropped so significantly in the past year or two.
Our household income is not one I ever envisioned would have the problems we have ... do hope it gets better opposed to worse for us all though.

I've been a carer for 13 years. I absolutely LOVE my job, I'm rewarded every single day, it is a very wholesome career (I understand some people may not see it as a career). I'm paid £11.62 an hour, supermarket staff get paid more than I do, I'm the person looking after the vulnerable. Genuinely keep people alive, feeding, washing, administering medication and I'm paid less than someone stacking shelves. You are right the balance is off!!

So after 20 yrs, promoted to senior roles are you really saying you have no transferable skills?

Single mama here to one. Had to move back home, no idea how I'm going to get back out. £1000 rent a month minimum here and I work full time plus overtime. What a mess.

Sending hugs and solidarity OP xx

DBAD

It’s a challenging time for you. I remember when my youngest two were in full time nursery and the seller two in before and after school club. Most of my salary went on paying that. It gets better though as they get older.

Just be grateful you have a job and pension, OP.

Only joking, it’s absolute shit and I absolutely hear you. Work doesn’t pay for anybody earning 30-100k if they have small children.

oh i hear you. Our youngest just turned three (eldest is seven) so the nursery funding just kicked in but by god it's been bleak. Not in the sense of defaulting on the mortgage or being unable to pay bills or buy food but just that all the joy has been stripped out of life as the costs have all went up. And me and DH combined earn around 85K!!! I know someone will be along in a minute to flame me but I don't care, i'm telling the truth from my point of view.

Like financial guru Dave Ramsey says, your income is your biggest wealth-building tool and your household income is low. Have you thought about doing care or support work as a bank (casual) worker? This could be a way to get shift work on an ad-hoc basis.

There’s deffo a squeezed middle where you earn too much for free anything- dentist prescription etc but only enough to scrape by. We are in a similar position to you, no holidays, no new clothes, no take away ever. Yet there’s always some poor wee soul on mumsnet who can’t get by and is poor on 100k……

The Government minister for childcare is doing a Q&A session with Mumsnet.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sponsored_qas/5002680-do-you-have-questions-about-the-governments-new-childcare-offers-ask-the-minister-for-children-and-families-david-johnston-mp

It's not comfortable for anyone. My DH has started to work Saturdays and Sundays whilst I concentrate on cutting our expenses wherever possible.
Its shit, and I can't quite believe we're in the situation where DH is out of the house 7 days a week and I'm counting pounds and pennies, because our standard of living has dropped so significantly in the past year or two.
Our household income is not one I ever envisioned would have the problems we have ... do hope it gets better opposed to worse for us all though.

I think this sums it up for so many people. The reduction in circumstances has hit lots of people and has happened all at once, from so many angles.

I know economisits would argue that inflation was too low for too long, but that doesn't help ordinary people. It's been one catastrophe after another.

Just to mention to those people who feel the need to broadcast they're public sector, private sector are struggling too in many industries. I had a 1% pay rise last year and it's been announced we'll be having a 0% increase this year. Yet BOE cited a rise in salaries as justification to increase inflation earlier in tbe year. Who is getting these pay rises? No-one I know personally in the private sector are getting them, which is by no means definitive, granted, but I suspect it's the perma-striking sectors that are the ones making substantial gains and thereby driving inflation for the rest of us.

The thing that sticks out to me is that you're paying for 33 hours of childcare and working for 25 hours of it.

Is there any way you could do 2 long days instead of 3?

Or have a half day at nursery on the third day?

And also where jobs are not paid by the value they bring to society, but by how much they they enrich individuals eg a hedge fund manager earns more than OP whereas OP does far more useful job, does this mean only bankers deserve children...

Lol yea having a child with a disability and a partner with long term health problems to the extent that working is out of the question for the time being is such good fun. We're doing brilliantly... 🤔🙄

Is there any way you could do 2 long days instead of 3?

I have never worked in retail in my life, but I'm pretty sure the OP has stated that you have certain days that you're on and are then allocated your hours? So she needs cover regardless of which hours she actually works. Nurseries don't let you pick and choose hours from experience either, it's either half day or full day, and childminders need set hours themselves.

Ahh sorry missed OP was in retail. That's bound to be making the situation worse if you are having to pay for non used hours, sorry OP.

I think the only thing "simple" around here is you

When a woman has a child, she performs a service to the whole nation by creating a new citizen.

If more than a small minority of couples with both working cannot afford to have children, the nation's existence is threatened by rapid population decline.

You're talking to OP as though she took on too big a car loan when that's not the case.

Days out? 😂 Hardly hard done by without days out or take away coffees! Make your own coffee and put it in a flask.

When I was child these weren’t even things anyone thought about.

People are just to greedy these days, think they’re entitled to stuff all the time.

As long as you have a roof over your head, a chair to sit in and some food what are you worrying about?

I just enjoyed my children when they were growing up. We struggled like hell but just got on with it. We earnt nowhere near £50k. You’re lucky!

Would a childminder be a less expensive option than a nursery?

I'm not. I'm drowning. Single parent, full time worker, UC top up. I am so far from okay right now.
It's hard for all households with less than 50k income I imagine.

And who takes the bairn whilst she works these shifts?

OP - can you really not earn more money? Seems like a very low salary for such a lot of experience.

It seems unlikely you couldn’t earn more.

Whilst I don’t subscribe to the ‘you can’t afford children - why did you have them?’ school of thought, when things are hard you have to make choices and in your position I’d be trying to earn more money, because your seniority isn’t paying adequately where you are.

Lol and in what decade was this? May I introduce you to the basic concept of inflation?